Hidden Boys
by MindlessAdri
Summary: AU. What started as a cover is now marriage, Kurogane is struggling to tell his wife about himself. But he meets an attractive bartender and things become all more complicated. What can you expect with adultery? Language.
1. Fabrication

A/N This is a lot of plot. Just warning you. It's my first attempt at this so be nice.

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><p>Kurogane approached his middle class suburban house coming home from his day maintaining the family business. His family had run the top fighting academy in Nihon for nearly 4 generations. Nihon was a small suburb 50 miles away from nearest major city though in comparison to the small farming towns surrounding Nihon it was Tokyo. It had a small downtown area that ended in a modest boardwalk along the beach. The downtown area consisted of nicer restaurants and family owned clothing stores along with Kurogane's family dojo, Suwa Center it might not have sounded like much but a great fighting academy didn't need a flashy name. The city itself was hilly and instead of building through the land the city followed the grassy hills and curvy landscape. Fanning from the downtown area were community shopping centers which gave way to housing communities from the towns glory days and eventually present and modern housing. Kurogane lived in the later with his wife Yuuko and son Mori. He turned off his sedan and leaned back against the leather interior lidding his red eyes and exhaling deeply.<p>

"My house: the prison," Kurogane said in a depressed chuckle. It wasn't that he didn't love Yuuko, but he never expected to marry her. To put it simply he thought that after high school he would go away to college where he could finally be himself and he wouldn't need to cover of his and Yuuko's relationship. But fate has a funny way of twisting things and when Kurogane's father fell ill the spring of his senior year he had no choice but to fulfill his father's dying wish. He had called Kurogane to his bedside in his final few days. It had killed Kurogane to see his father like that, weak and in death's grasp. To see the man he aspired to be and had looked up to his entire childhood needing to be taken care of. Even in his sadness he felt a small amount of disgust well within himself.

"Kurogane, my son, my only son," his father said with an outstretched decrepit hand. Kurogane took his hand while kneeling by his father's be side. "I have a request of you."

"Anything Father." Kurogane said with a tone of obligation.

"Yuuko: I want you to marry her." Kurogane's face dropped at his father request as he thought about how even in death his father would have him suppress parts of himself. "You have been with her for 3 years now Kurogane, I want to know that before I die there will eventually be an heir to carry on our name and family's fighting style." Kurogane loved and respected his father but there was no denying that he had had a strict upbringing, one in which he was taught to be stoic and callous. Three months later Kurogane and Yuuko wed following graduation. It wasn't that Kurogane didn't love Yuuko because he did very much but it wasn't the love typically associated with male female romance. It was instead better classified as a love for a best friend. Deep down he was sure Yuuko knew that he was in fact a homosexual but she was far to caring in her own way to say so. She had been the only girl who had didn't take Kurogane's cold exterior and aloof nature as rude she herself had qualities about her that scared people off and somehow she had found solace in their similarities.

Kurogane opened his eyes and glanced at his house to see his son plastered against the large living room window staring at his father. Seeing he had been given recognition he pushed away from the window and reemerged through the front door seconds later bounding up to his fathers car. His son threw open the driver door and jumped into his father lap. "Hi Daddy," Mori said with the vigor expected of a 3 year old child as his ear length hair scattered on his forehead. He immediately jumped into a story about his day and how Mommy was trying to make him eat his vegetables. Kurogane half smirked at his son's contorted face as he explained how disgusting asparagus was.

"Mori," Kurogane said suddenly stern, "if you don't eat your vegetables all the children in the toddlers class will kick your ass when we spar tomorrow." A look of horror crossed Mori's face before becoming determined and hopping off his dad saying he had to eat all of his vegetables before they got cold. Mori was a good mix between his parents genetics though being so young it could go either way once he started to fill out. He had his father's blood colored eyes but Yuuko's soft face rather than Kurogane's sharp one. From his mother he also had fair skin that neither of his parents were sure would tan once he was older and spending more time outside. Kurogane made a move to get out of his car finally, turning toward the door to see Yuuko standing there in one of his large shirts she had made her own by cutting the neck out so it hung off her right shoulder and a pair of torn shorts with her hair long black hair held up messily with a clip. Her arms were crossed across her chest as she leaned against the doors frame.

"Hey you brute!," she called half smirking as she knew the insult would bother Kurogane. "Can you explain why Mori is talking about having his ass kicked unless he eats his asparagus? I was sure we had agreed not to hit our child."

"Oh! Shut up you hag. I told him the kids at class would kick his ass if he didn't eat his asparagus." Kurogane usually didn't have trouble restraining his profanities in front of Mori but as luck would have it the one time he slipped Mori would repeat it, in this way perhaps he was more like his mother jumping at every opportunity to embarrass him or get him on trouble with Yuuko. This was considered normal conversation for the fake couple ever since the first day they had met. Yuuko had walked up to him at lunch and though Kurogane was in many sports he didn't seem to have many friends. He had looked up when he noticed a looming shadow to see her and though gay couldn't help but be shocked by her beauty. Yuuko at this time hadn't full blossomed and was still turning the heads of the younger student teachers with her soft face, porcelain skin, eyes that reminded Kurogane of a doe, budding womanly figure, and long hair who's raven color matched his own. Something about the friendship that budded after that day worked regardless of how much scheming she did and yelling he did in retaliation. People began assuming after a couple months that the two were an item they never denied the claims and in reality neither ever brought up the subject. It wasn't until a year later when Kurogane had come upon Yuuko one day after school being harassed by some senior boys that he took action. Yuuko was spitting in the leaders face letting out creative strings of profanity when Kurogane grabbed said boy by the collar and decked him square in the face. He put Yuuko behind him and said with venom in his voice "Leave my fucking girlfriend alone." From that day forward there had been no arguing or hushed whispers, they were a couple.

~o~

Kurogane rubbed his eyes silently cursing the alarm clock that read 5 am, he had gotten to bed later than usual as it was his night to put Mori to bed and his son wasn't being entirely cooperative. He was sure that Yuuko had slipped him extra desert thus inducing a sugar high to get back at him for jeopardizing Mori's innocence. Yuuko stirred turning to look at him from her side of the bed which was large enough that they each had a respective side. This, Kurogane always thought, was another of many signs he was sure his wife knew his secret. She never tried to cuddle or be close to him physically though they were very close in other ways that people saw in their mannerisms towards the other.

"Kurogane, do you want help with Mori this morning," Yuuko asked as he got into the shower.

"Only if you want to and only if this doesn't cost me anything," he yelled back into the bedroom. He had learned early in their relationship that favors never came with out a price.

"I want eggs but there's none in the fridge," she replied already getting out of bed. Kurogane thought a moment He didn't have to be to the dojo till 6:30 and even if he was late then Syaoran could open up with his spare key and start the preparations for the days classes.

"Fine," he grunted back in half irritation. Once clean he put him self in his usual work attire a black gi which was held together by a black and red obi indicating Kurogane's overall authority within his dojo. He left to the store returning minutes later to find Yuuko and Mori sitting on the floor playing with Mori's favorite toy which his wife had named Mokona. He personally thought it looked like a pork bun. Ten minutes later Kurogane called his family to the table for breakfast in a gruff voice trying his best not to be late regardless of whether or not the kid, Syaoran, could get in or not.

Mori finally finished his eggs and the father and son pair could leave Yuuko kissed her son goodbye and waved them off. Kurogane thought while belting his son in that the lack of kisses which most couples found ritualistic was yet another indication that Yuuko knew. Regardless he had somewhere to be.

~o~

Kurogane arrived promptly at 6:30 as usual unlocking the dojo and carrying Mori inside. Though it wouldn't have been a big deal if he had arrived a little late he was glad he hadn't. He set Mori down and began to clean the dojo. Syaoran came in carrying equipment from the storage shed in the alley that would be used for the toddlers class that promptly began at 7:30. The class was taught by Syaoran who had suggested it after becoming Kurogane's apprentice at 18. Kurogane himself was nearing 23 and his 5th year or marriage. Kurogane had taught Syaoran in the highest skilled class after his dad passed. All masters at the dojo had been trained at the dojo in the Suwa fighting technique that had developed over generations. The other instructors would be along shortly each teaching a different class and assisting in others.

The toddlers class started and Kurogane supervised as Syaoran attempted to teach them about meditating. While excellent with Mori, Kurogane didn't like most small children and most didn't like him. Suddenly the door burst open to reveal a girl out of breath in a pink gi, not normal attire. Kurogane eyed her questioningly as she sat herself next to Syaoran. Together they were able to command the attention of the children apart they had no such luck. Syaoran looked at the girl and gasped at the pink before regaining his composure in front of the influential students. The two worked there way through meditation and moved on to basic exercises before dressing the 10 or so children aging from 3 to 5 in large padding that really reminded the three masters of marshmallows before setting them in pairs to begin sparring.

Kurogane watched his son seeing that he in fact was remembering the lessons he was being taught by both his masters and father. Seeing this he felt a sense of pride for the little boy who had become his life.

Class ended and the children joined their waiting parents outside the dojo hugging their instructors as they went. After the class had dispersed Yuuko waltzed in and up to her son who greeted his mother with a kiss to the leg. "Sakura," Syaoran yelled after the last child left, "What happened to your gi?"

Sakura turned light brown hair swishing about her chin as she did. "I, uh, washed it with something red on accident," she said blushing a bit at her blunder.

Yuuko smirked at the two young adults with a knowing glance as Syaoran inquired as to what it had been before situating her son on her hip and strolling towards Kurogane. She planted a light kiss on his forehead while Mori chimed in his opinion of 'eww'. She only ever kissed Kurogane in the presence of others, probably for show. "Hey, I was thinking of going to my mothers for the weekend. She called after you left and said she hadn't been feeling well. I just want to check on her and make sure she doesn't over exert herself," Yuuko said in a way a wife asks permission of her husband which wasn't the norm for her in private.

"Will you be taking Mori," Kurogane asked already knowing the answer.

"I was hoping. You haven't had any time for yourself lately and I wanted you to be able to have a weekend to do your manly things." She said with a knowing smirk. Kurogane's face didn't even falter she had been making these kinds of implications since they were in high school. "Like drinking with the guys, of course."

"Fine. When will you be back?" Kurogane was a man of little words until angered.

Yuuko thought a moment, "Well I was thinking Monday night but I can come back Sunday if you want." God, how both of them hated this game of typical husband and wife.

"Monday is fine. Call when you get there," he said standing up from the chair he had been seated in to kiss both his son goodbye and his wife of their foreheads. "_Drinking" Kurogane_ thought, "_I could use a drink."_

~o~

Though Kurogane had friends he had never enjoyed drinking in a group. He didn't have the patience for people who couldn't handle their alcohol. He walked the downtown area expecting to go to his usual place but walking down one of the back allies he noticed a sign hanging over a door way. The sign was a glowing neon pink and shaped as a cat and said Cat's Eye where the face should have been. It sounded promising and it was closer to Suwa Center than Mully's, his usual drinking spot. He pushed the door open and stepped into the bar to find it was rather busy. It was lighted in low lights and the walls were paneled wood creating the look and feel of a tavern. He took a seat at the bar farthest from the entrance waiting to be served. It wasn't long before the bar tender spotted him and stopped his chit chat with some younger ladies at the opposite end. The blonde made his way over wearing a button down white shirt and affordable black slacks. Kurogane himself had since went home and changed into a confortable plain black shirt and dark jeans, prepared for a low key evening.

"What can I get for you, you manly man," the blonde asked with a 100 watt smile leaning in close to Kurogane as if expecting him to whisper his order.

"What did you just call me," Kurogane asked trying to maintain his composure at the quickly dubbed annoying bartender. "My name is Kurogane," he said with a hint of warning in his voice.

The blonde's smile grew in to a teasing smirk, "Well what else did you want me to call you? It's not like I'm a mind reader Kuro-meanie! So what is it you wanted," he asked completely disregarding the look of murder in Kurogane's eyes.

"Do you treat all your customers that way, idiot," Kurogane demanded in a harsh tone. Something about this idiot really made him livid.

"Wah! Kuro-chan is so mean calling me an idiot. My name is Fai! Fai D. Flourite," the idiot exclaimed thrusting his hand out like he was oblivious to the rage swelling around the two. "Sake. You look like a sake person Kuro-pii."

"Stop with the nicknames already you moron," seethed the now thoroughly annoyed Kurogane. "I just wanted a fucking drink."

Fai spun around to deliver the sake to Kurogane nearly tripping on air. "To answer your question Kuro-kun, only the good looking ones," Fai said with a wink before bounding off to another customer.

_"What question is the idiot talking about,"_ Kurogane thought for a moment before a slight blush rose to his cheeks. That bartender had just hit on him. The realization dawned on him as he sipped his sake. While, yes, Kurogane was good looking and well built he hadn't been approached my many men in the past probably because it was hard to believe he was gay. He shook the blush from his cheeks and continued to sip his sake.

Still he couldn't help but notice the morons physically appealing attributes. He was tall and thin almost womanly yet Kurogane found this attractive. His blonde hair fell on his shoulders in a crazy mess some hair falling around his face and others springing out. It was the skin though that really got Kurogane, Fai was most definitely a foreigner he had pale ivory skin that Kurogane imagined was soft to the touch. Fai turned on his heel and headed back to Kurogane who looked away trying to look as if he hadn't been secretly checking Fai out.

Fai smiled, "Everything okay over here Kuro-drunk?"

Kurogane looked at the bartender indignantly declaring "I am not drunk you idiot!" One look at Fai's smirk and Kurogane knew he had fallen into a trap.

"Well are you sure you aren't because Kuro-manly wouldn't be checking out a man otherwise, would he?" Fai leaned in seductively batting his lashes that encircled his sapphire orbs that Kurogane had failed to notice until now.

Kurogane blushed trying to hide it behind a toothy scowl and saying evenly, "I'm not gay." he really wished this guy would leave him alone yet he strangely fond himself enjoying the company of a male who found him attractive.

"Of course you aren't Kuro-chan," Fai said with a wink. A sligtly unsetteling scilence fell only to be interuppted by the bar tender. "Let's play a game Kuro-sour," Fai said suddenly very excited.

The taller man of the two put his cup down on the bar asking in an exasperated voice "What is it Flourite?" Seeing that it would probably be easier to just accept than anything he played along. Fai jumped over the bar landing next to the annoyed customer and grabbing him by his bicep nearly pulled him off his stool, unphased he dragged Kurogane to the arcade games towards the back. "Shouldn't you be working," he asked when Fai stopped triumphantly in front of a shooting game.

"Perhaps," Fai smiled answering the slightly rhetorical question while digging in his pocket for spare change. His hand finally emerged with four coins he put two in his side and motioned for Kurogane to hold out his own hand which he did reluctantly so he could receive the coins from the idiot. Under normal circumstances he would have refused to let the idiot pay for his game but he wasn't carrying any change on him. The game was a zombie game and for Fai it ended quickly because he didn't know how to reload. Kurogane on the other hand lasted 5 round by himself working well under pressure and alternating the zombies he was shooting. He could have lasted longer in the game if he hadn't been to the idiots incessant yammering of "kill the scary monster Kuro-pon" or some other ridiculous version of his name.

"Oi! Idiot you made me die! Tch." Kurogane was peeved to say the least.

"Let's play again Kurgy!"Fai said smiling like a giddy child.

"No! And stop with those goddamn nicknames before I break your skull!" Could this idiot get anymore annoying?

Fai thought a moment, "What if we bet?"

Kurogane not one to turn down a bet considering his ego wouldn't let him. "What are the conditions idiot?"

Fai's smile dimmed a little as he thought. He suddenly lit up slightly startling Kurogane "If I beat you at this game," he said pointing back to the zombies machine "then you have to come back and visit me tomorrow at the same time.

Kurogane mulled this over, so far the conditions seemed fair. "And if I win," he inquired.

"Well that's simple Kuro-silly! I'll stop with the nicknames." It seemed so easy there was no way this idiot could beat him. So with that reassurance he accepted the terms. It might not really matter anyway since he planned on returning to Mully's after this annoying evening but at least he would have beat the dammed bartender. Fai slipped four more coins into the machine and the familiar video started and soon it was on. Fai was playing the game like an expert saving Kurogane a number of times after level 8 and Kurogane was getting nervous, he was going to lose. Then as his character died on level 11 he came to a realization this bastard had tricked him!

After Kurogane had died Fai set down his gun and let his own character die no longer seeing a point in playing. A childish smile played on his face as Kurogane screamed, "You bastard!" Fai dodged a punch and began running around the slowly emptying bar pushing chair's into Kurogane's way as he chased the fully ecstatic Fai. Eventually Fai ran himself into a corner and Kurogane loomed over him murder in his eyes. "Did you trick me you idiot bartender?"

Fai's smile widened "Of course not Kuro-pii, I always forget how to reload the first time," Fai said touching Kurogane's nose. Kurogane screamed in aggravation and walked towards the door heading to the dojo where he planned to sleep for the night. Fai ran after him in to the alley way where he stood waving at Kurogane screaming at the top of his lungs "Bye, Kuro-woofy! See you tomorrow!"

It took everything the homicidal man had not to turn around and kill that blonde. That perfectly attractive blonde.

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><p>AN So, um what did you think? I don't really write but I was inspired this morning waking up from a nap to do this and hours later here it is. It's my first so no flamming please! Unless you really want to. I really wamt to make this a multichapter if people like it. I'm sorry the chracters are probably extremly OOC. But GAH! This is hard. I give props to all the amazing writers out there. By the way if you've ever been to Santa Cruz, Ca that is kind of how I imagined Nihon though I'm not exactly sure if they are in Japan of not. Regardless the Gi, I really thought it Kuro would wear a Karate uniform but I really have no martial arts knowledge and thus am looking for a word other than Gi, if anyone can help. I'm sorry if there are mistakes, guys.


	2. Hidden Aspects

A/N Hey everyone! Well I worked on this all day once I found my rythm so I hope you like it. My friend told me not to post it because she doesn't want you guys to get to demanding, so you all must be very lucky, huh?

By the way I do not own Tsubasa, just so were clear.

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><p>Fai leaned against the doorway of his bar, Cat's Eye, staring after Kurogane as he stalked away most likely muttering to himself about Fai's annoyances. Once the taller man had turned the corner and was out of sight Fai turned and walked back into his bar to finish out the evening. He made his way behind the bar and leaned against it with an exasperated sigh. "Fai-san," said a short girl as she cleaned glasses and stacked them in their respective places against the wall, "don't go getting over excited because of some guy who probably won't return tomorrow."<p>

Fai propped himself up on his elbows resting his head in his hands staring out at the floor a closed mouth smirk crossed his face. "Oh, Tomo-chan, you're so cute worrying about me like that," Fai stated without looking at the girl. "He'll be back. I just know it!" His smirk grew into a full blown smile as he turned to Tomoyo, "Besides, Tomo-chan, when do I even get over excited?"

Tomoyo decided not to answer the blatantly rhetorical question as she could think of three times off hand to answer him. Instead she opted to sigh and brush a raven black lock behind her ear before saying, "You know Kurogane-san runs the Suwa Center around the corner," she said as more of a statement rather that an inquiry. Fai pivoted his head to look at his employee raising an eyebrow signaling for her to explain how she had this knowledge. "I myself use to attend there when I was younger. Though I was never much of a fighter my parents thought it would be good for me to know basic self defense."

After this exchange the conversation shifted away from Kurogane though he wasn't far from Fai's mind. The two finished up the night promptly closing at three in the morning. Fai walked Tomoyo to her car in the parking lot at the end of the alley as usual not wanting her to ever have to use self defense. They parted and Fai made his way back to the bar where he lived in the upstairs apartment. He went through his nightly routines before crawling into his bed and burying himself deep within the covers. It was only then that the smile faded as he thought about the past and how Tomoyo was right, he was getting over excited. He couldn't help it though it was just him. Sleep finally caught him and he closed his eyes saying goodnight to the world.

~o~

Kurogane was closing up shop later that evening turning to make sure all the equipment was in it's respective place before locking the side entrance of the dojo and making his way to his car. He drove home in silence thinking of what he could do to fill his Saturday with out Mori and Yuuko. Normally since the dojo closed early on Saturdays and Sundays, closing at 6 instead of 8, he would take Mori to the park to watch his son tackle the jungle gym and debate whether or not to slide down the fireman pole. Though Kurogane had offered many time to help him Mori refused determined to do it himself. Afterward they would come home Mori snuggled up against his father's chest as they walked back. Yuuko would either have a dinner ready or they would go out to eat as a family at a local restaurant. That's what they were to the anonymous onlooker, the perfect suburban family. Without his family for the weekend though Kurogane decided to pop in a move and eat whatever left overs he could find in the fridge and maybe go to bed early, it wasn't like he was really going to go back and visit that idiot.

Coming into his house he decided to start with a movie which he promptly turned on. It was a movie about a group of men from the Mediterranean defending their city against an impossibly large middle eastern army while waiting for the council to decide to send the entire army. It was definitely one of Kurogane's favorite movies as far as war movies went. The movie though was over to soon. It was a two hour long movie and the time was 8:30. He decided to call Yuuko to talk to Mori and say his goodnight to his son. He went to his backpack that he carried things in to and from work kneeling next to it searching for his phone. After a through search though he found that his phone was nowhere within the bag. The next logical place was to search the car so he but his shoes on and made his way to his car. He unlocked the driver door and began searching all places within reach of the drivers seat thinking he wouldn't have put it anywhere out of reach. After another through search bringing forth no phone Kurogane decided he must have left the phone at the dojo. Yes, he had. He clearly remembered putting it away in the office desk. He sighed in frustration realizing he would have to go back to the dojo to retrieve it considering they didn't have a need for a house phone. He started the car in aggravation backing out of his driveway contemplating hitting the garbage can just to let it all out.

He arrived at the dojo entering through the side entrance fifteen minutes later. He walked down a short hallway where the office was located at the end. He opened the desk finding his cellular and pressed a random button to illuminate the screen finding that he had a new voicemail. He listened for the drone like voice to play the message. The message was from Yuuko saying that her and Mori were going to bed and would call later, a moment later Mori was on the phone saying goodnight to his father. Kurogane smiled hearing his sons voice before saving the message and leaning back in his chair closing his eyes enjoying the silence. He opened one eye peeking at the digital clock on the filing cabinet. It was just after nine. He thought about the idiot and how he would probably be expecting him any minute now considering he had arrived about this time yesterday. God, that idiot. Kurogane was sure he hated everything about him right down to his hyper antics. How could he even find something like that attractive? Blondes weren't even his type he thought. What was his type? Tall, most definitely tall. Though he was muscular he preferred thinner men. Longer hair, something to run your fingers through. Somebody that wasn't as stoic as him and had life in them. Coming to the realization he had just described Fai, Kurogane cursed out loud. He ran his fingers through his hair irritated. He did not like that idiot bartender and he was about to prove it. He flew out of the chair and stormed out of the dojo almost forgetting to lock the establishment after himself.

He rounded the final corner to Cat's Eye slowing his pace as he began to think about his plan only to realize he had no plan. He didn't even know why he was here. He could of stopped and turned around, not entering the bar but he had come this far. Knowing this he pushed the door open to the tavern like bar and took an empty seat at the bar.

~o~

Fai came down the stairs leading to the bar buttoning his shirt while yawning away sleep. His hair was mused from the nap he had found himself in right before opening. It was a good thing that Tomoyo was capable of doing things with out Fai's guidance. Looking around his bar he found Kurogane sitting at the same seat he had sat at the night before sipping what seemed to Fai to be sake. He smiled knowing that Kurogane was truly a sake man. When he had reached the bottom of the stairs he broke into a run coming up behind Kurogane and throwing his arms around his neck. "Kuro-sama! You came back," Fai said with fabricated surprise and a childish smile plastered on his face swinging Kurogane back and forth.

"Get off of me you fucking moron," screamed Kurogane as he grabbed Fai's forearm spinning him so Kurogane could effectively pin Fai to the bar by pressing his hand to Fai's chest.

Fai realizing that he was now in a rather vulnerable position attacked Kurogane the only way he knew how. "Now, Kuro-sexual the night hasn't even begun yet and you're already pinning me to various places," Fai said with a jab of a thin finger to Kurogane's chest. At the accusation Kurogane took a generous step back from the bartender scowling away a faint blush.

"What on earth are you talking about? I agreed to come back not spend my evening here and I did, now I can leave," stated Kurogane through a more that irritated gaze at the blonde.

"Aww, but Kuro-chu it's my night off," which wasn't entirely a lie as he was the owner and could leave at his own accord. "C'mon Kuro-pii! Let's go get something to eat!"

The mention of food softened the martial arts instructor a bit as he then became aware of the gnawing hunger in his abdomen. He growled at the blonde under his breath. "Fine," he barked scowl still in place, "but if you do anything like that again you can forget about it."

"Yay! Kuro-pu is taking me on a date," Fai joyously yelled loud enough for the surrounding people to hear while he threw his hands in the air.

"Shut up you stupid bartender!" Kurogane advanced on Fai shoving and accusing finger in his face, "This is not a date." He pronounced every word clear and with meaning waiting for a sign of registration from Fai.

Something in Fai's eyes changed from the childish out pour of excitement to a more reserved and serious gaze. Yet in the same childish excited voice he said "Okay. Whatever you say Kuro-pii."

Fai grabbed Kurogane's wrist dragging him through the bar and out the doorway to the alley while say "C'mon Kuro-hungry we need to get you fed before you eat _me_!" Kurogane nearly fell when he was first yanked but quickly regained his balance and matching the lively idiots pace.

"Stop pulling me you idiot! I am perfectly capable of walking on my own," Kurogane said in a rather murderous tone while ripping his arm away from Fai. After a moment of collecting himself he turned to the idiot who through some cosmic event he was with. "Where did you want to eat Flourite?"

They began walking out to the main street of the downtown area as Fai crossed his arms and furrowed his brow creating the illusion of deep thought. Kurogane looked down and the bartender waiting for an answer noticing how when frustrated or in this case in deep thought Fai looked like a child with his blonde waves framing his face and thin lips pursed ever so slightly as if the answer was right behind his sealed lips. Kurogane cursed himself silently for thinking to deeply about the idiot. Fai suddenly snapped breaking Kurogane's train of thought, "I got it, let's go to Luna's!" Fai turned to Kurogane with an expectant gaze, the moon light illuminating his pale features.

They began walking in what seemed like a tremendous silence Kurogane adverting Fai's smiles whenever Fai would catch him looking at him. Conversely whenever Fai was caught looking at Kurogane he would not shy away but would instead smile at the master before Kurogane turned his head away. Kurogane could no longer stand the deafening silence with this guy as they walked to Luna's, an all encompassing restaurant located at the end of the pier overlooking the boardwalk. Kurogane was about to make small talk, anything really to fill the silence as they walked towards the pier but it was Fai who broke the silence smiling halfheartedly, "Kuro-stony, how long have you been married?" The question was a little jarring as Kurogane had assumed Fai was oblivious to his marriage. Sensing that Kurogane was questioning how Fai had this knowledge he added, "I saw you're ring."

Kurogane glanced at the binding silver band on his left hand chastising himself for not knowing that of course even the idiot would notice it. "Almost five years," Kurogane blatantly stated not wishing to carry on the subject with Fai. Perhaps subconsciously he was content with for a while forgetting his life and just being in the company of something he could never truly have. Feeling rather self-conscious he began fidgeting with the ring on his finger, experimentally taking it half way off only to replace it.

"Aww, Kuro-sama when's the anniversary," Fai asked in amusement.

Clearing his voice, "Yuuko and I will have been married five years on the 13th of May. Our son will be 4 later that month," Kurogane said with the tone a father uses to express endearment when mentioning his son.

Fai stopped short looking at Kurogane with genuine surprise, "Wait, Kuro-scary has a son?"

Kurogane wasn't even phased by the slightly offensive question as many people even himself never expected him to have a kid. Regardless though Kurogane didn't feel the need to answer the idiot and instead opted to remain silent. Fai though continued his rant. "Wow, I bet he looks just like Kuro-handsome, to bad for him. All the children are probably scared of him because of his strong daddy!" This was starting to drain Kurogane making him even more happy to see see Luna's looming in the foreseeable distance.

The bartender was more talking to himself than anyone making himself look like an imbecilic to the other people out at this time walking and Kurogane look like his care taker. Suddenly becoming embarrassed Kurogane decided a change of topic was in order so that this would at least be conversation rather than the blabbering going on next to him. "What about your family Flourite," Kurogane asked cutting Fai short in his ramble, "I haven't heard you offer any information on them."

Fai fell silent for a microscopic moment but to Kurogane who had only known Fai for a day it felt like the most uncomfortable silence Kurogane had experienced in recent years. He turned expecting the idiot to be smiling and about ready to burst and the seams with excitement at the chance to talk about his family. Instead Kurogane saw for the first time the face of a tired old man hidden behind the face of a young man. It seemed as if those last few seconds had gone by in slow motion allowing Fai's face to be imprinted into Kurogane's memories before Fai regained his composer looking up from the ground at Kurogane and smiling. "Oh, Kuro-sama you don't want to hear about those old farts," adding a wave of the wrist in attempt to thoroughly brush away the subject. "Phew," Fai said dramatizing his onomatopoeia by flicking fake sweat away from his brow, "I could use a drink. How 'bout you Kuro-chan?"

Kurogane was no fool and noticed the change in Fai's disposition and immediate resort to alcohol but knew this man had no reason to trust and confide in him so he didn't press the subject further as Fai might have. "Can you hold your liquor," Kurogane asked. It was more of a challenge than anything.

~o~

"Another round for the sexy blonde," slurred Fai as he set down his 5th shot of tequila at Luna's. Before this he had had wine with his dinner, 3 cups to be exact. A beer to wash that down followed by a Long Island Ice Tea with desert. Kurogane sat next to the drunk sipping his sake barely touched by his own alcohol. He noted that it wasn't until the hard liquor that Fai had gotten out of control thinking that next time he would watch over the blonde better. Following these thoughts he mentally chastised himself for thinking there would be a next time. He had a wife and kid, dammit! He didn't have time to go running around town babysitting. It was approaching midnight and Kurogane made annoyed animal like grunting sounds knowing that regardless of how much he didn't want to he knew would have to take this drunken idiot to his house, where ever that may be. He wasn't doing this for the blonde he was doing it for the nice patrons and employees of this establishment he told himself attempting to clarify his obligation.

Fai turned to Kurogane setting one elbow on the bar and leaning his head against his hand, or at least attempting to. Once he finally managed the simple movement he turned to Kurogane smiling what can only be described as a drunken smile opening his mouth to speak. "Kuro-rin, pst, I have something to tell you." Fai leaned in closer nearly falling off the stool steadying himself by planting both of his hands on the edge of the stool between his legs. Kurogane could smell the stench of the alcohol on Fai's breath backing away to save his nose. He made a throaty noise signaling Fai to continue. "Now Kuro-pon," Fai hiccuped putting a clenched hand to his mouth before replacing back on the stool to steady himself, "I'm a little drunk." He emphasized his point by drawing one hand up and closing the space between his thumb and forefinger. He reached out with the same hand placing it on the larger mans knee as he said, "I'm going to have to ask you not to take advantage of me."

Kurogane abruptly stood up causing Fai to fall forward and off his stool. Kurogane looked down and the blonde, "Don't be stupid you idiot! People are going to get the wrong idea!" A rose tinge though was crossing Kurogane's cheeks as he had an intrusive image of the new idea in his head.

Fai sat up rubbing his head and reached for the edge of the bar failing to hoist himself up. Kurogane frustrated with himself for ever coming and with the idiot blonde for becoming so intoxicated grabbed Fai's bicep pulling him up only to let go to let the drunk slump onto the bar. Fai looked around for his drink and not seeing one began to yell at the bartender. "Hey bartender, over here," the bartender turned to see a blonde drunk waving both hands in the air as if his life depended on it. "I need another drink! I want whiskey now!"

Kurogane face palmed himself before turning to the man making his life a walking nightmare,"You damn idiot, you are not drinking anymore you are plastered as it is," he yelled at the the blonde before turning to the bartender. " You give this idiot another drink and I will kick your ass," Kurogane delivered the threat through cracked fingers before turning to face away from the bar while simultaneously leaning against it with is arms crossed over his chest.

Fai to busy trying not to fall as he sat himself on his new seat hadn't heard the warning Kurogane had given thus continuing his wild antics, "Bartender! Whiskey!" He began to chant "whiskey" as if it would bring rain and banging his hand on the bar smiling like a madman.

The innocent young drink mixer looked at Fai in the eyes and said as sternly as he could muster, "No. You've had enough."

Fai looked at the bartender stopping the banging of his fist, "It's because I'm a foreigner isn't it." Fai smiled broadly at the bartender.

The bartender scoffed at the drunk crossing his arms over his chest and sarcastically saying, "Yes, that is exactly the reason you are cut off. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact you are hammered beyond belief."

Fai's smile faded into a serious scowl as he looked up seriously saying, "You racist bastard. It's because I'm blonde isn't it!" Fai began to cry probably out of frustration. "All I want is a drink. Foreigners are people too," he began to cry out to the horrified bartender who looked to Kurogane helplessly. Kurogane looked at the slobbering drunk who was now spouting out reasons why he shouldn't be cut off and why being racist was bad for business. Fai sunk to the floor pouting and cursing the young man under his breath. Kurogane audibly growled into the air thoroughly irritated before picking the damn idiot up and hoisting him over his shoulder.

"Kuro-chi, put me down," Fai began to whine kicking and making what can only be described as a scene.

"Shut your trap you idiot I'm taking your drunk ass home," the sober man spit in retaliation. Hearing this Fai calmed down a bit though was still visibly pouting to those who could see him.

Kurogane quickly apologized to the bartender and surrounding patrons putting down more than enough money to cover the tab thinking the bartender deserved all the extra money after this night. He made his move to leave silently cursing ever having forgotten his cell phone. When he reached the door the bartender called out to Kurogane who looked over his shoulder to listen. "Don't have to much fun tonight, your wife might find out!" Kurogane blushed in embarrassment before remembering that these guys weren't in on his secret, he wasn't even sure if Fai really was. They just thought he was out with his drinking buddy. All of the sexual innuendos here were in good humor. Either way he wasn't offering up details.

Fai perked up at the comment, "Oh, we won't," he yelled back in a slurred voice before slapping Kurogane's ass.

"Oi! You damn idiot bartender I'm never drinking with you again!" All the people at the bar who were in on the joke laughed as Kurogane exited the bar idiot bartender in tow.

~o~

Kurogane made his way back to Cat's Eye unaware of where else to take the blonde over his shoulder who was making tiny humming noises as he now slept. Few people were out at this time as it had gotten colder. Living by the ocean it was expected to be cold at night as the temperatures dropped in the evening. They reached the bar, Kurogane using his foot to nudge the door open. Tomoyo looked up from her place behind the bar hearing the chime of the bells above the door and gasped. She quickly maneuvered herself over to the Kurogane who upon seeing her concern spoke up. "We went to eat and he had a to much to drink." Tomoyo didn't even acknowledge him as he sat Fai down in an empty chair. The girls silence made Kurogane uncomfortable so he continued, "I didn't know where else to take him. I though somebody here would know where her lived and then they could take him home."

The girl turned from a soundly sleeping Fai to him taking him in with wide eyes before simply saying, "He owns this bar, he lives in the apartment up stairs." She motioned with her head to the stairs before she turned to go back to work, "The door should be open." Kurogane had no room to object, she hadn't left him any. Reluctantly he picked up the sleeping buffoon holding him against his chest. He had carried him the half mile or so back to his bar yet he was still surprised at how light the blonde was. Holding him as he was now he could feel how frail the body in his arms was, the softness of his hair against his arm, and the indeed smooth milky white skin. The man in his arms adjusted himself in Kurogane's grasp turning inward towards the masters chest, no doubt seeking the warmth emanating from the large muscular body, causing Kurogane to blush before ducking his head and walking towards the stairs.

~o~

Kurogane bent awkwardly to grab and twist the doorknob beyond which lay Fai's home. The room, as it literally was a room, was illuminated by the moon light streaming in from a window in the top right hand corner. Centered on the right hand wall was a box bed that sat on the floor, creamy linens decorating the unmade bed a night stand on either side though only the right side had a lamp. In the left hand corner was the kitchen next to which was a door that seemed to lead to the bathroom. The kitchen contained retro appliances that Kurogane was sure broke often driving the idiot downstairs to the bar's kitchen to cook. In the center of the small kitchen sat a small wooden table with two wooden chair, though only one looked used. Off to the bottom left was a small living room separated from the rest of the adobe by a waist high wall. It it was a small broken-in red couch and a rather old television.

Kurogane stepped silently into the room making his way to Fai's bed and rather unceremoniously dropping him onto the side Kurogane supposed was the the one he preferred. He looked at the idiot, his feature's being highlighted by the cursed moon. Cursed because it always made things seem different and more glamorous when present. Kurogane felt a tug in his chest looking at the blonde, regardless of how annoying the idiot was he couldn't help it. He was smart enough to know what he was feeling was only want and desire but it had been a long time since he had even felt that and so he allowed himself to linger a moment, it wasn't as if anyone would ever know. Fai turned reaching for another pillow in the dark and when finding it hugged it against his body snuggling it closer. Kurogane took that as his cue to leave and backed out the door closing it behind him and walking down the stair intent on going home, he did have work in the morning.

To Kurogane's surprise when he emerged into the bar he found it empty and Tomoyo finishing off the last of the dishes. "What took you so long," she inquired in a suggestive tone.

Kurogane ignored the girls question not seeing a need to reply because regardless of what he said he knew she would get some sort of satisfaction. The more he thought about it the more she reminded him of his wife. "Where is everybody," he asked the girl, she was so young but behind her eyes was an unexplainable wisdom.

"I closed up. There were a lot of people here and if they had woken Fai-san he would have wanted to help. Currently he is no condition to do so, Kurogane-san, still there weren't enough hands for the night to begin with. This just sealed the deal," she said placing the last of the glasses on the self behind her.

He smirked at the girl realizing she must have been a student at one time or another at Suwa Center. "Tomoyo," he stated suddenly recognizing her and remembering she had a mean nose groin technique. "If it's such an inconvenience hire another bartender."

Ignoring his sudden recognition she began gathering her jacket and keys saying "Fai-san is looking but he can't hire just anybody." She began making her way to the entrance, Kurogane followed or face being locked in with the idiot. As she was locking up the door she began to speak, "Fai-san and me have been friends a very long time, Kurogane-san. Ever since college" She turned never glancing behind herself to see if Kurogane who now felt compelled to follow would indeed do just that.

"Is there a point," he asked suddenly defensive from his trailing position behind Tomoyo who was walking the opposite direction he needed to go.

"Fai-san has been hurt many times in the past and I am always there in the end and that won't change. Regardless Kurogane-san you have to think about your family in this situation, I see hurt in your future whether it is being given or received though I can't be sure." They were now approaching a parking lot at the end of the alley.

"Well, I don't know what you think is going to happen but me and that idiot, we aren't even friends." As soon as Kurogane said it he realized how true that statement really was and felt a sudden sense of loss though it lasted only a second.

"I'm glad to hear that Kurogane-san." She said stopping in front of a silver car inserting the key and looking up at the moon before turning the key. "Just remember there's no use hiding yourself from people."

"I'm not hiding from anybody," Kurogane said evenly almost toneless adding quickly, "I don't have anything to hide."

Tomoyo smiled to herself, "People lie in life. People lie to each other and the ones they love but people can't help, regardless of how much they try, they cannot lie to themselves. At least not forever. How long will you be able to hide Kurogane, I already foresee it unraveling. I can see it in the way you look at him." She opened her car, got in, and closed the door. The car roared to life and she rolled down her window to see a speechless Kurogane. "By the way, thank you for walking me to my car."

He stood there waiting until she was out of sight, once again fidgeting with his wedding ring. He grumbled something about annoyances and minding your own business before turning to head to the dojo no longer having energy to do anything but sleep.

* * *

><p>AN Alright guys, I really appreciate the reviews. If your following the story be nice and review it really helps me write knowing you guys wanna read more. If your not that's pretty lame.

I'm also guessing we are all aware that an affair is budding but between who? If you didn't here's your insight as to what to expect. The obvious choice is KuroFai but what if it was Yuuko? I'm just rolling around ideas in my head. i really enjoyed writing drunk Fai and the scene with tomoyo, so I hop you guys really like them. I think it makes up for the semi-boring beginning.

Also, I kinda got into the maning behind the title in this one so what do you guys think it is? Am I being to interactive, with you guys? I hope not. :)


	3. Beneath the Moon

A/N: Alright! Here we go guys, the ball is now rolling and things are going to get fluffy with a chance of bitter sweet! Enjoy, becuase this section got hard to write what with my body going through a random bout of no sleeping.

With out further to do here's the disclaimer: Don't own Tsubasa.

* * *

><p>The sunlight was the only reason Fai woke up, he began to turn over to glare at the window overlooking the building tops, if you peered hard enough in the distance you could faintly see the ocean, but he quickly shut his eyes as his conscious mind became aware of the monstrous headache he had. He put one hand to each sapphire eye and attempted to let out a moan of discomfort only to find that instead his mouth was as dry as a desert not to mention tasted awful. He pulled the cream colored comforter over his head willing the pounding behind his eyes and around his head to stop. He decided he was in need of some pain relieving medicine so picking himself, blanket wrapped around him to shield him from the sun, he shuffled his way over to the kitchen and using one hand to clutch the blanket and the other to search the cabinets. He found the relief he needed popping pills two into his mouth for good measure before dry swallowing. Looking to relieve the desert in his mouth he looked in the retro baby yellow fridge pulling out a carton of orange juice and, seeing no need for a glass, drank the liquid in generous gulps.<p>

He sat at the at the small table and slumped down against the tabletop attempting to remember the events of the previous night. He thought hard about how he had sat at the bar talking to Kurogane about nothing but still the stoic man had sat there and listened sometimes replying with affirmative grunts and nods and if he had been lucky with a few short words. Not only was it the comment that the taller man had made in regards to Fai's family that had made him crave the sweet release of alcohol but as the night wore on the bartender had begun to notice that Kurogane had some how seen through his smile his one and only form of protection from the world and his past. Regardless Kurogane must have brought him home and for that he had to be thanked. The blonde turned his head to the swinging black cat clock to read the time, 11:07, he would work on thanking Kurogane once the medicine kicked in.

~o~

Kurogane looked out into the cluster of women in front of him; all intently waiting for the next instruction from their teacher. Sakura sat next to him in her pink gi, normally he would have requested her to buy a new one but he was aware of her pitiful living situation. Money didn't come easy to her, and though she was sufficiently paid by the dojo all her money, after food, went towards her education. She was constantly requesting to leave early and arriving late either because of her class schedule or because she had over slept. Under normal circumstances he would have probably fired an employee like that but despite his tough exterior he had a soft spot for both her and the kid, Syaoran. Though being only a few years older than the kids he had been teaching both of them the Suwa style since they entered the class, under the supervision of his father at the time though.

Sakura lived on her own in an apartment not far away against he brother Touya's wishes. She was very conscious that her brother was within the working class and would struggle to provide for her once she was in college, feeling guilty she left and never asked for help or mercy, after that she was determined to do everything on her own. Kurogane would never say so but her truly admired her determination, even after losing her scholarship to the local university because of a failing course she had stuck through it all. When this had happened Kurogane offered her an apprenticeship of sorts, like Syaoran's, he had been contemplating it a while before hand as there were many qualified applicants but his bias had gotten the best of him. She was a terrific instructor and he planned on eventually letting her instruct the woman's defense class but she still needed supervision and focus.

Sakura looked to Kurogane also waiting for the next instructions already forgetting the class plans they had drawn up together. He stood from his sitting position on the floor and crossed his arms about his chest. "To close class we will do a short defense exercise," he said looking out at the class with confidence. Sakura took his standing as a cue to also stand. Since she was still training as an instructor Kurogane still instructed half of the classes, following a class he taught Sakura would take the lead using what she had observed as far as teaching method to conduct class. "Find a partner." Both masters turned to each other and Sakura nodded with a determined face knowing what to do. She turned away from the senior instructor so her back faced him.

Kurogane with out looking at the class stated in a calm yet demanding voice, "Do as me and Sakura do." He placed a hand on the small girls left shoulder who promptly crossed her right hand over herself grabbing Kurogane by the wrist and turning around to strike Kurogane in the nose by using the base of her palm or her left hand to push his nose upward in hopes of breaking it. Of course this was all a demonstration for there was no real force behind it. They both turned to the class walking through the rows to correct any mistakes in form that they saw. Kurogane not being a stupid man noticed that whenever walking by certain pairs of women a blush would cross their cheeks he never let on that he was aware though. After ten or so minutes had passed Kurogane dismissed the class.

Sakura stood at the door way seeing the women off before turning to walk to Kurogane. She stopped in front of him head bowed twiddling her thumbs. "Um, Kurogane-san" she started shyly, "I was wondering if maybe I could work on my essay in the office during the next class." She looked up worry in her eyes as she began to gush, "You don't have to let me! I know I'm not much of a help as it is but I was thinking that since you and Syaoran usually instruct the next class together anyway and I already finished cleaning the youth equipment that, um, maybe I could write my paper."

She was silent still twiddling her thumbs waiting for a reply. Not wanting to look to soft Kurogane looked at her asking, "All of the equipment is clean?"

"Yes," Sakura replied enthusiastically with a shake of her head.

"Fine," Kurogane replied shortly looking away and out the shop window to see a head of blonde hair approaching his institute. He began silently praying it was only a coincidence.

"Oh, thank you Kurogane-san," Sakura replied with genuine surprise and joy as she literally skipped away to the office.

Despite Kurogane's well thought out silent pleas the blonde did enter the shop with a wicker basket in hand, it's contents covered by a blue and white checkered cloth. "Kuro-daddy," Fai screamed throwing his hands in the air with a large vibrant smile plastered on his face. "I brought breakfast for my handsome savior!"

Kurogane resisted the urge to face palm himself instead opting to pick up Sakura's water container and hurling it as the blonde idiot. "Don't say stupid things like that you idiot! It's nearly two in the afternoon, what use do I have for breakfast?"

Fai easily dodged the water container to the taller mans surprise and it crashed behind him into a rack of wooden swords creating a loud crashing noise. Fai placed his hands on his slender hips and looked at Kurogane saying to him in a voice mimicking authority, "Now Kuro-ungrateful, if you don't calm yourself I'm not going to let you have what's in the basket," which he held out in front of himself now as if making the threat real.

Sakura peeked around the corner and cleared her voice sensing the somewhat tense atmosphere, "I heard a noise Kurogane-san," she said innocently. Fai noticing the girl smiled even more broadly, if that was even possible.

"Oh, Kuro-brute is just throwing things at me," Fai said with a wave of his hand. "No matter, I'm Fai, Fai D. Flourite," he exclaimed holding out his hand. "Who might you be, princess," Fai asked with unnecessary suaveness.

Sakura blushed rather fiercely at the small compliment but not wanting to seem rude approached the blonde to shake his hand, "I'm Sakura" she answered smiling at the taller man warmly and taking his hand. "Kurogane-san wasn't trying to hurt you was he, Fai-san," she asked with concern.

Fai smirked at the question, "Kuro-grumpy is just mad at me because I kept him up until the early hours of the morning, isn't that right Kuro-fiesty?"

Kurogane was beginning to feel out numbered, in his own shop no less. Kurogane growled into the room before bellowing, "I said shut up you stupid fucking moron!" Kurogane then hurled his own water bottle at the blonde idiot who once again dodged the flying object which splattered on the window behind him, amazingly not breaking the window. Being filled with a new found fury Kurogane sprang at the giggling bartender chasing after him at full speed around the dojo screaming profanities he hadn't had a reason utter in years. Sakura stood in the middle of the room staring at the scene confused.

Syaoran emerged through the alley door returning from his lunch break to the extremely bizarre display. To shocked to react to the blonde approaching at full speed, Syaoran found himself being used as a shield to Kurogane's rage. Kurogane upon seeing the kid regained a bit of his self control not wanting to be viewed in such a way by the boy who obviously looked up to him. "Kurogane-san," the confused youth ventured looking first at the smiling blonde and back to his employer, "is something wrong here?"

"Kuro-rough is trying to hurt me," cried thin man from behind him. He cocked his head in a questioning manner.

"Were you really trying to hurt him Kurogane-san," questioned a slightly intimidated Sakura.

Kurogane felt three pairs of eyes on him waiting for an answer, "Of course I was trying to hurt the idiot," he yelled. "He's been making my life hell for the past three days."

Syaoran turned to the blonde looking over his shoulder asking, "Who are you, sir?"

"Fai, Fai D. Flourite," Fai said enthusiastically, standing up straighter. "I don't know why Kuro-puu is so angry, I brought him freshly made muffins to thank him for his kindness," he said motioning to the basket. He reached inside the basket shuffling around for something. He pulled out a little black stuffed animal with a blue circle in the middle of it's forehead. "I even brought a present for Kuro-junior!" Sakura's face lit up at the sight of it and she made her way over to Fai.

"My son is none of your concern Flourite," Kurogane seethed with fading irritation as he felt himself losing steam at the sudden sense of pressure on him.

"It's so cute Fai-san! Where did you find it," Sakura questioned in a childish tone.

"Oh you like it? I found it just around the corner at a specialty shop that sells various items, Paper Works, I think," Fai beamed at the sandy brown haired girl.

"May I hold it," she asked full of hope looking up at her new found friend. He nodded, his smile widening. She gingerly took it in her hands and gave it a tight hug before turning to Kurogane who had calmed down a bit watching the interactions in front of him. "Look Kurogane-san! It's just like Mokona! Won't Mori-kun just love it," she asked squeezing it again.

Syaoran stepped around the two watching them and made his way over to his superior. "Kurogane-sama, why do you know that man?" The kid cocked his eyebrow skeptically at the blonde before his face softened in to a warm smile noticing how happy Sakura was. It wasn't often he saw her smile like this anymore, stress and guilt had been straining her lately. Seeing this smile Syaoran decided right there that Fai must be a good person despite Kurogane's obvious irritation with him.

Kurogane sighed not seeing a point to continue chasing the blonde considering his focus had shifted away from him now. "It's not like I want to," he scoffed at the kid who knowing his boss decided not to press the subject further. Not that he would have been able to as Sakura bounded up to him smiling as if she hadn't been so happy all her life.

"Syaoran-kun! Try this," she commanded promptly popping a piece of muffin into the unsuspecting boys mouth. He suddenly understood why her smile had been so dramatic swallowing the muffin and looking around her to Fai who stood with both hands on the basket in front of him. "Fai-san, did you make these yourself," the boy asked a little skeptical.

"Mmhmm," Fai replied, "I have a lot of extra if you want your own," he said approaching the boy and pulling out a blueberry muffin for him. "I made them all by myself for Kuro-pii," he said in a satisfied tone. He with drew another muffin from the basket holding it out to Kurogane, "Please have one Kuro-meanie!"

"I don't like sweet stuff," the taller man said. Fai looked down at his muffins and sighed.

"Well if that's how you feel...,"he trailed off.

Kurogane began to affirm that, yes, that was in fact how he felt only to be caught off guard and have a piece of muffin put in his mouth. He chewed on the food carefully while glaring daggers at the idiot who smiled contently with himself, the only thing stopping him from spitting it out on the floor was the fact class would begin soon. Secretly Kurogane was very impressed with the idiots cooking but couldn't let on as it would only lead to a bout of exuberance from the moron standing next to him. Kurogane swallowed and growled at the walking annoyance who promptly said, "Yay! Kuro-chu likes my muffins!" Kurogane was about to respond only to be cut off by the blonde buffoon who turned to the other two, "You should both come with Kurogane he comes to my bar later tonight," he said excitedly.

Sakura looked at Fai excitedly, "Really Fai-san? I've never been to a bar!" She looked to Syaoran, "Will you come with me and Kurogane-san too, Syaoran-kun," the girl asked pleadingly.

Kurogane seeing that he no longer had any authority in the situation prayed for the second time that day, this time that the kid would say no so that Sakura wouldn't go. Syaoran looked at the girl planning to say no justifying that the girl had a paper due in a few days but one look into her green pleading eyes and the kid didn't stand a chance. "O-okay, Sakura-chan."

Sakura clapped in delight turning back to discuss details with the blonde, Kurogane ran his hand through his hair cursing under his breath. He looked at the kid communicating with his eyes that he would pay, in response Syaoran gulped. The door chimed though preventing Kurogane to voice this to the kid. The four people currently in the front of the establishment looked toward it to see that the first of the class was beginning to arrive, ready to be taught the art of Suwa meditation. Noticing that he hadn't finished laying out the mats Kurogane looked to the two apprentices, "You two stop fucking around and set up," he barked not loud enough for the elderly man to hear. Both youth quickly sprang into action sensing Kurogane's irritation.

Fai yelled after Sakura, "Tonight at eight!" She turned to him with a re assuring smile as she got to work. He turned back to the head instructor, "Tonight at eight Kuro-stiff, don't be late," he warned.

Kurogane was only half listening as he wondered how on earth he had lost control of not only himself but of the situation, it was very unsettling for the martial artist. He turned to the idiot, "I'm not going because I want to. I'm going because I can't have two drunk Suwa instructors out making fools of themselves in public. It would look bad for business," he was only half lying as he had gone out drinking with the kid before and knew what to expect on the other hand part of him wanted to go despite his better judgment. "Also you idiot, I don't expect to pay. You obviously blindsided me by asking Sakura."

Fai's smiled became less bright realizing he had been found out, turning to Kurogane he said, "I wouldn't have it any other way, Kuro-sama." His smiled widened, "It's not like you've ever paid any way you cheap-o!" He turned to leave a now slightly more irritated Kurogane but remembered the muffins, "Here" he said triumphantly shoving the basket into Kurogane's hands. Kurogane looked at the bartenders fake smile, this was quickly becoming the most annoying thing about the blonde. He would have said something but thought better of making a scene in front of his students. Fai laughed, "Eight o' clock Kuro-kun," poking the man's nose. Fai made his way to the door swinging his arms like an overly happy child.

Kurogane looked down at the basket and turned to put it in the office. He set them on the desk and glanced down the hall before tearing a piece off of the muffin Fai had offered him and popping it into his mouth. From behind him there was a small creak, he turned startled to see Sakura looking quizzically at him. "They are ready to start Kurogane-sama." She paused a moment as the man swallowed, "I thought you didn't like sweets."

"I don't," he said sternly adding, "Why are you back here?"

"I,um," Sakura gulped, "was going to work on my paper?"

Kurogane nodded his head affirmatively remembering he had given her permission to do so earlier. He pushed past her saying as he exited the office, "You didn't see that." He tightened his obi around his gi as he made his way down the hall.

~o~

Fai heard the familiar chime of the bells above the entrance to Cat's Eye sound and out of habit looked up from his place behind the bar where he was currently having a conversation with a young man with messy snow white hair and crimson eyes to take in the new customer. His smile broadened upon seeing Sakura in a light, green half jacket that resembles an army uniform over a modest light pink dress that swished about her knees, and furry tan boots. She waved to Fai when she spotted him, a gigantic smile plastered on her small face. Next to her was Syaoran dressed in a long sleeve red thermal and well fitting dark blue jeans, glancing around nervously before spotting Fai. Behind both of them loomed Kurogane wearing a black t-shirt which was decorated with gray feathers along the sides and faded dark blue jeans, looking as irritated as ever as Fai waved them down, as if they couldn't see him.

The small drinking party approached the bar and took seats at the far end waiting for Fai to finish his conversation with the messy haired kid who slipped money on the bar and left. Fai turned to the three and ambled towards them. "What can I get you lovely people to drink." he asked in a rather professional tone.

Sakura placed a finger on her temple thinking, "I don't know Fai-san what do you recommend, I don't drink much." The young girl smiled at the blonde awaiting an answer.

Fai smiled to himself thinking of all the drinks as cute as Sakura, "I got it, how about a sassy lemonade?"

Sakura smiled, "What's that?" Fai explained the details as the two veteran drinkers sat awaiting to be tended to. "That sounds good, Fai-san," Sakura clapped her hands together in anticipation.

"What about you Syaoran-kun," Fai asked leaning on the bar.

"Oh, um," the boy stuttered surprised to be addressed as such, "I'll have a, um, screaming orgasm," Syaoran said blushing wildly. Sakura looked away from the boy also blushing.

Fai smiled at the two awkward teens before him, "Okay," he said turning away.

"Oi, idiot what about me," Kurogane asked.

Fai turned around a mocking pout on his face, "Oh, is Kuro-needy sad that I didn't ask him what he wants?"

Kurogane growled at the bartender, "No, I would just like a little service is all."

Fai walked back and leaned dramatically far out over the bar glancing down at Kurogane's lap, "You look fine to me Kurgy."

Syaoran stifled a snicker as a confused expression crossed Sakura's face. Kurogane reached a hand out to grab the bartender with every intention of killing him but the blonde was two fast and was safely out of reach behind the bar, "Come back here you idiot," Kurogane seethed. Though it was hard to take him seriously as it was now him blushing furiously.

"Anyway," Fai continued ignoring Kurogane's comment, "I already know Kuro-manly wants sake." the thin blonde walked away with a stupid smile and despite Kurogane's embarrassment he couldn't help but notice the way the blonde was now swishing his hips. It seemed to Kurogane that the more annoying the blonde was the more he found himself wanting to shut him up.

As subtly as possible Kurogane watched the bartender from the corner of his eye while also attempting to pay attention to the conversation to the side of him. He watched Fai shake, stir, and pour alcohol with a content smile on his face blonde hair falling about his shoulders and into his face which he promptly corrected by pushing behind his ear. The smile in question wasn't one of those overly-excited smiles or the fake one he had seen just last night.. Kurogane couldn't help but think to himself that this was a much more attractive idiot Fai.

Fai unaware that he was being watched turned back to what he considered friends nearly missing the martial artists gaze, he smiled a less content smile, he knew what Kurogane wanted and worse yet he was willing to give it to him despite the man being married and knowing there would be no relationship, no commitment. How long had it been though since anybody wanted him, better yet how long had it been since he had wanted anyone. He quickly but on a gigantic plastic smile to make up for his short trip into his inner feelings. Kurogane crossed his arms over his chest not having missed the split second drop in the bartenders defense.

"Alright," Fai joyously called out to the three instructors, "who's ready to drink?" Kurogane growled in embarrassment while the other younger two perked up looking at each other before receiving their drink. Kurogane watched from the side as he sipped his sake, choosing to savor his alcohol unlike Sakura and Syaoran who would new a new glass in just a few minutes. Fai came over to Kurogane and leaned on the bar turning his head to also watch the children. "I give it two hours," Fai began, "before Sakura and Syaoran are passed out."

"Shows how much you know. I give it one hour with the way they are drinking," Kurogane replied looking away from his employees.

Fai was about to suggest they make a bet out of it but as if on cue Sakura slammed her glass down on the table, "Fai-san, can I have another," she asked smiling and already slightly slurring her words

"Me too,"the kid said turning to face the bartender.

"Coming right up!" Fai grinned as he went off to fill their order. As he made their drink he thought to himself, _one hour_, suddenly glad that he hadn't placed a wager on it.

~o~

Kurogane looked over at the only girl of their drinking party as she loudly laughed at something Fai said before making a move to get off of her chair only to stumble catching herself on her chair before bounding over to the pinball machine with Fai in tow. Long ago she had abandoned her jacket and shoes leaving her only in a her light pink dress. Kurogane shook his head in disappointment at the young drunk hoping above all else for that girls that, one she wasn't drunk enough to remove any more clothing, and two, that her brother would never find about this.

Kurogane's attention was then called else where as behind him there was a loud bang as Syaoran came stumbling out of the bathroom wearing a tin bucket on his head and ineffectively wielding a mop as a weapon. Kurogane face palmed himself as the kid attempted to strike an empty table only to miss by about a mile. Syaoran happy with his performance made a triumphant, "Humph," sound and weaved his way over to his master. "Kurogane-san," the kid began while glancing around in search of Sakura losing his train of thought. Turning back to the stoic older man Syaoran said in a very serious tone, "I have surveyed the area, I do not believe Sakura-chan is here." Kurogane paid no attention to the blathering drunk. "I think she has been kidnapped Kurogane-san, what do you suppose we do, he asked clasping his hand to the sides of his face in horror.

"Well," Kurogane said looking at the severely confused young man, "why don't you go play the arcade games with her in the back." Kurogane finished the question as a statement and the boy stumbled off in search of the girl.

Kurogane sat at the bar by himself relishing in the few short moments he had before the idiot would surely comeback. "You know Kuro-pon," Fai said slipping into the stool beside Kurogane, "It was only 45 minutes before they became like this, I guess both of us were wrong because they're asleep in the shuttle game." Fai smiled at the other man.

"Would you stop with the nicknames already, you moron," Kurogane asked not getting annoyed just making a final request.

Fai turned on the stool so he was facing away from the bar and leaned back, placing his elbows on the bar for support. "Nope, Kuro-rin, secretly likes the nicknames I give him," he said using the hand closest to Kurogane to poke the mans cheek.

Kurogane slapped the hand invading his privacy away turning to glare at the blonde, "I do not, what idiot would actually enjoy that shit," he growled.

Fai smiled a satisfied smile. "How's the wife and kid," he asked returning to his position leaning against the bar.

"Out of town till tomorrow," Kurogane said curtly taking a sip of his sake. Something about the bartenders relatively calm nature was unsettling to the larger man.

"Oh, is that why Kuro-hubby has been out of the house to see me every night this weekend? The old ball and chain took a sabbatical," Fai said turning back to the bar and propping his head up on his closed hand. He stared intently at the man who was looking off into the distance.

"Oi, idiot. I can do whatever I want! Yuuko is just there." Realizing what he just said Kurogane mentally slapped himself, no man should ever talk about his wife the way he just had. Subconsciously though he knew it was the truth and he quickly began to wonder why he would choose to say such a thing to a moron. Regardless he felt the need to add, "I love my wife." He said this looking at the blonde who just beamed back at him.

"What's your son like," Fai asked as Kurogane visibly smirked at the opportunity to talk about his son.

"Mori's a lot like me. To much like his mother though," seeing that the blonde was waiting for him to continue he cleared hi throat and went on. "He has a lot of determination to do things on his own."

"Like you," Fai interrupted in a matter-of-fact tone. "How's he like Yuuko?"

Kurogane ran his hand through his hair, "Yeah. He's like his mother because he likes to cause trouble. He catches on to the littlest things and holds them against you. He won't do anything with out asking for something." Kurogane audibly chuckled thinking about his son, even Fai was surprised. Kurogane realizing his suddenly less than stoic display quickly regained his composure ten-fold. "What about you Flourite, ever been married, want kids," he asked turning away, his stoic expression fixed on his face, taking another sip of sake. He knew it was a dumb question, Fai was obviously gay, at least to Kurogane. He just knew, just like Fai had without neither of them ever actually saying so.

Images of a violent past rushed to Fai's mind, his smile faltered for a second time that night and just like Kurogane he recovered ten-fold, "Nope," Fai said in a suddenly perky tone, "I'm a free spirit," he exclaimed sitting up straight and pointing his thumb at himself, jabbing his chest a bit for emphasis.

Unlike Fai though Kurogane was not about to let the idiot off the hook. "You know," he said in a irritated tone, "if you don't want to share you don't have to, just don't put on that fucking smile."

Fai smiled even wider, further irritating Kurogane. "Oh, Kuro-pii," Fai said with a wave of his hand, "is that worry I sense in your voice?" Fai, unknown to Kurogane was beginning to feel the first signs of panic encroach upon him. He didn't like this. He didn't like that Kurogane could see though him. Subconsciously though it was this that was leading him closer to the other man.

The taller man just stared at the idiot, "If we're going to be," Kurogane paused preparing for the god awful taste about to fill his mouth, "friends," he spat, "because god knows you aren't going to leave me alone, then you better stop with the bullshit." Leaving it at that and hoping the blonde would as well he turned and stared off into the distance again.

Fai was about to spring himself on Kurogane and launch himself into a fit of wails to hide the sudden gaping and exposed feeling surrounding him but was interrupted by Tomoyo, "Fai-san, I was doing inventory and were short a few crates of vodka."

"I have them in my room, there wasn't enough room in the back for them before," Fai said in his professional tone. "I can bring them down right now," he said getting up from his stool beside the large man suddenly unconcerned with Kurogane.

"I'll help," Tomoyo said moving to untie her apron, "I know there's a few up there, this way we'll be able to do it in less time."

Fai held up his had stopping the young girl, "No. Stay here Tomo-chan. If both of us leave who will run the bar," he asked throwing out and entertained smile. "Besides, Kuro-kun will help me!"

Kurogane looked and the bartender who turned to him with and expectant smile, "I said no such thing you, moron!" Still as Fai turned skipping away to the stairs Kurogane found himself sliding off his seat to follow the bartender up the darkened stair way to his apartment.

The apartment suddenly seemed different with Fai being awake and walking in it. The moonlight was still the primary light source as Fai went to the left where sure enough stacked against the half wall were ten or so crates Kurogane had failed to notice before.

Fai felt suddenly uncomfortable with Kurogane's presence. He couldn't take it anymore being the only one who had been poked in a weak spot, made to break in a bad way. He had to know. "Kuro-puu," Fai said facing away from Kurogane bending to grab a crate. Something in the way Fai had said what was supposed to be his name made Kurogane stop standing behind the bartender. The moonlight was playing tricks again as it illuminated Fai's milky skin and mad his blonde locks shimmer. The outline of his thin yet tone physic becoming highlighted in the silvery light. "Why are you married, if you're not happy?" He stood and looked over his shoulder at Kurogane awaiting an answer part of him hoping for Kurogane to feel ans uncomfortable as he did, part of him wanting an answer, lips slightly ajar and deep blue eyes wide like a child's.

Kurogane planted himself firmly into the ground and crossed his arms about his wide muscular chest. "What makes you think I'm not happy," he asked evenly though firmly.

Fai turned to fully face the instructor. Taking in his tanned muscular body, imagining the warmth that most likely seeped from it surrounding him. "I can see it. You aren't happy with a woman. Why do you pretend to be?" He felt the situation becoming personal, he was praying that Kurogane would say something to stop the advancement of desire Fai had felt for the man since first seeing him. For the first time even though he knew better, he hoped Kurogane was not gay.

"I made a promise. After that my pride prevents me from seeking anything else," Kurogane said looking out the door refusing to make eye contact with the moonlight laced blonde fearing the outcome.

Fai abandoned his place by the boxes and walked over to Kurogane the tension, which at this point could only be described as sexual, amplified his soft footstep which stopped in front of the taller man. Fai not quite ready to end the conversation continued, searching for crimson eyes that refused to meet his. Finally the larger mad relented and arms still crossed turned his head to face the idiot blonde. Fai felt his heart begin to beat faster as an image of what he thought Yuuko might look like popped into his head. "It's okay to admit you're unhappy," Fai said raising his hand to the side of Kurogane's face feeling that, yes, the mans skin was warm and Yuuko faded from his mind as the scene before him became his focus. Fai lifted himself onto his toes bringing his head slightly more level with Kurogane's and leaning forward he gently pressed his lips to the taller mans.

Kurogane was slow to respond as an over whelming about of guilt rose in him before he felt those soft lips on his own waiting for him to respond. He uncrossed his muscular arms and placed a hand on Fai's hip raising his other hand to the blonde's face running his calloused fingers over the smooth skin of Fai's cheek. He felt Fai's hand leave his cheek as he wrapped his arms about the taller man's neck and lowering his feet back to the ground as Kurogane began to move his lips.

Kurogane pulled the bartender closer bringing forth a surprised 'eep' from Fai. Kurogane used his narrow time frame that this had given him to slip his tongue into the shorter man's mouth. He slowly explored Fai's mouth savoring the taste of his mouth while also wrapping both arms low on Fai's waist somehow managing to bringing them closer. Fai began to wrestle for control within his own mouth running his tongue over Kurogane's and gently pushing it back behind it's owner's lips so he could explore Kurogane. Fai began to pull away suddenly feeling worthless though another part of him didn't care about the morals of society. Kurogane followed the now retreating lips nipping at Fai's lower lip in a last desperate attempt to keep his lip on his own not wanting this moment in which he had been himself to end.

Both men had a light blush on their face as they stood together in the middle of a moon lit apartment breathing raggedly. Kurogane didn't think of Yuuko, the wife he had just betrayed regardless of how fake their marriage was. Fai did not think of the hurtful memories of his past knowing that this one kiss had been different from the ones littering his past instead he thought of betrayal. _Everything looks better in the moonlight,_ thought Kurogane as his breathing returned to normal and the blonde extracted himself to return to the boxes acting as if nothing had happened more for the sake of normalcy than anything else. He was attracted to Kurogane and after this display he suspected that Kurogane was also attracted to him but regardless of how elated he felt the annoying voice of logic in the back of his mind was warning him against getting involved with a married man.

"Come on, Kuro-flirt, Tomo-chan is waiting for us," Fai said fixing the most disgustingly false smile on his soft face. Blue eyes slowly losing the sparkle Kurogane was sure they would regain once back to the bar. He followed suit picking up two crates and following Fai down the stair.

_Things can say hidden in the dark, but only for so long_, thought Fai helplessly as a single tear of guilt rolled down his cheek

* * *

><p>AN: I know Kurogane is really OOC, but it's probably just my biased getting the better of me as I type. Also The fluff, I wrote an entire other fanfic just to practice writing fluff, becuase I had never written it before, so insert shameless self promotion here. I'll give you a hint one of the characters of the practice fluff fic vaugely appeared in this chapter. I really do hope you enjoyed it.

Reviews are always nice and make me smile, doesn't take much to please me but it you write someting well thought out expect a reply.

With love, Adri.


	4. Internal Hypocrisy

A/N: So this is a short chapter just over two thousand words, but don't worry it's just to clarify how our boys are feeling becuase JESUS we have to know right! Some of you might hate me at the end but don'tbecuase I love all of you guys! Mostly. :3 I'm going to stop before I give away to much.

So with out further to do: Do not own Tsubasa.

* * *

><p>Kurogane worked his way back to the dojo after having dropped a passed out Syaoran and Sakura off at their respective homes glad he had the mussel mass to carry both of their light frames. Soon following the brief kiss between Kurogane and Fai in the bar's upstairs apartment Fai had stopped pestering Kurogane as he normally would. The taller man suspected that Fai hadn't immediately regained his composure upon entering the bar as he thought he would have considering when Tomoyo looked over to see the two coming down the stairs her smiling face dropped to worry. She glanced at Kurogane questioningly finding nothing she looked to Fai apparently finding her answer there because the look she gave Kurogane afterward was that of disappointment mixed faintly with hatred. They had continued to bring down the boxes of alcohol but in intervals as Fai quickened his pace till they were no longer in the same room at the same time.<p>

Not really understanding why considering he could just leave in his car, Kurogane entered the dojo not bothering to turn on a light. He went to the far side of the dojo and in a flash of anger punched a sparring dummy. "Fuck," Kurogane said quietly to himself closing his eyes and hanging his head. _It's all that stupid blonde's fault, _thought Kurogane. After he had kissed that stupid idiot he had found himself wanting more, not just of that moment but of life. In a sense he had been happy to do it even though he had cheated on his wife. He had finally found the release he had needed, no matter how small that it had been. On the other hand he was angry at Fai. That stupid idiot bartender! If he was going to act so cold and distant afterward perhaps he shouldn't have even initiated the kiss. Kurogane kicked the abused dummy again before literally stomping off to the office to drown his anger and frustration in his hidden bottle of sake. He walked into the open office and there sitting on the corner of the desk glowing in the moonlight as if mocking him was the wicker basket of muffins. Kurogane let out a sigh suddenly feeling defeated. He couldn't really blame Fai he thought, he must be confused. Hell, Kurogane was confused about what any of this meant. He picked up the stupid stuffed toy sitting on top of the basket giving it a light squeeze before putting it under the blue and white chekered cloth shielding the contents. _Dwelling on this shit isn't going to make it any better,_ thought a now apathetic Kurogane before picking up the basket and going to his car.

~o~

Tomoyo pushed open the swinging door that led to the kitchen letting it swing shut behind her. She had left the bar seeing the crowd was now thinning it being Sunday there was never much traffic past nine. She made her way to the back where the majority of the alcohol was kept and sure enough there was Fai sitting on a small stack of crates hanging his head his hands. She saw the blonde tremble and release a small stressed whimper. She crept closer to the thin man and knelled beside him placing a hand on his shaking back.

"We kissed," Fai said not needing Tomoyo to ask what had happened, they had known each other long enough that they had a certain level of telepathy.

"Why are you crying Fai-san, isn't that what you wanted," Tomoyo asked in a soft voice. Had she been any other person the question might have come off in a told-you-so manner.

Fai looked up staring at the wall opposite of him. "Yes, but it's not that simple. He's married Tomo-chan. It's not fair, he only wants to use me for my body, just like all the others," Fai said solemnly recalling countless mornings where he would wake up to an empty bed still warm as whoever had been there had just slipped out, seemingly unnoticed. There had been a time when he had wanted more form a person but after so many years of physical and emotional abuse from his ex-boyfriend, Ashura, Fai found himself to emotionally broken to want more than sex, consciously at least. It was only Tomoyo that saw how self-destructive Fai' subconscious really was. How much he craved to be wanted and eventually selling himself short in return for that feeling. The next morning after the bliss of the previous nights events would ware off though and Fai found himself alone and used, Tomoyo would be there to hold Fai as he cried away the emptiness. In the times though that men had decided to come back and pursue something more Tomoyo watched as Fai pushed them away, wanting so much from a person, to find comfort and happiness in one person but always keeping anybody willing to give more than their body in a sticky fumbling in some dark room at an arms length. Fai was arguably the embodiment of hypocrisy.

"Fai-san," Tomoyo stated looking at her friend trying to make him search for the answers.

Fai sniffled, "I think," Fai stopped and inhaled, "I think I like him." Fai shed another tear wondering why a man such a Kurogane would want him, broken and used. The thought of them ever being together was almost laughable.

Tomoyo cocked her head to the side and smiled warmly at her friend mending one cracked piece, "I guess you will have to talk to him about that. But for now Fai-san, remember his wife and son. There is no guilt in liking him but make sure if this relationship progresses any further that both of you are ready for the outcome. Don't allow yourself to carry the burden alone." Fai smiled at his friend secretly thanking her for being so straight forward. She stood leaving Fai to collect himself. He pressed his long delicate fingers to his lips as the ghost of Kurogane's lips brushed them again. He decided there that he wouldn't go to Kurogane, as Tomo-chan had said, he would not allow himself to get stuck alone in this. Fai stood on long legs and looked into the reflective surface of a spoon fixing a plastic smile on his face, who knew there might be a cute guy in the bar to lessen the want for Kurogane, possibly the only man he had had a single feeling for other than lust in the past two years.

He walked out into his bar spying a good looking man.

~o~

Kurogane pulled into his driveway surprised to see Yuuko pulling Mori out of the backseat of the car. His son stumbled out of the car clumsily flailing his chubby arms and rubbing sleep from his eyes. When Kurogane's headlights blinded both his wife and child he cut the headlights and parked in the street. He hurriedly got out of the car and as to not look to eager opened the backdoor to grab the only thing there, the basket of muffin's. He silently cursed Fai who was somehow able to embarrass him even from afar. His son broke away from his mother and ran toward his, "Daddy," yelled Mori as he jumped latching himself onto his father's waist smiling broadly.

"Daddy, I missed you," he said letting go of his father's waist in favor of hugging Kurogane's leg. He clutched the leg close shaking at the brute force he was putting into his hug.

Kurogane looked down at his son's head and patted it a small smirk on his face. "I missed you too, I guess." Mori looked up at his dad smiling a bid toothy smile not taking his father's words to heart.

"I love you daddy," Mori said giving his dad's leg a squeeze.

Kurogane reached down and picked his son up so he sat on the mans hip, "C'mon I have something for you." He walked up to Yuuko on the porch where she had been standing watching the two. He kissed the top of Yuuko's head, who smiled in return. "Why you guys home early," he asked blankly.

Yuuko nodded to the boy, "He missed you." Mori smiled up at his father who looked down at the boy giving him a light hug.

Both adults turned to walk into the house. Kurogane bent at the knees to place Mori on the soft carpet in the living room and placed the basket between them. Yuuko made a comment about showering before going upstairs leaving the father and son alone.

"Daddy, what's that," Mori said pointing at the basket shoving a chubby finger into his mouth.

Kurogane looked into his son's eyes that mirrored his own. "This," he said in a serious manner widening his eyes for extra dramatic effect, "is a present for Mori." Mori smiled in anticipation. Kurogane reached into the basket feeling the still moist muffins beneath and broke a piece off the one he had secretly been nibbling on during the day. "Close your eyes."

Mori slapped his little hands over his eyes not daring to peek knowing his father would catch him. Kurogane smiled to himself watching his son before popping the muffin into his sons smiling mouth. Mori chewed the muffin before sticking out his hand to his father, "Daddy, I want more."

Kurogane chuckled and rubbed his sons head who in turn playfully pushed his father's away and smiled brightly. "No, you can have some in the morning for breakfast." The young boy's smile dropped, "I have something else for you to kid," Kurogane said in mock irritation. He reached back into the basket finding the twin pork bun. "Here," he said tossing his son the toy.

Mori smiled not being able to find the words to express his happiness he sprang up and started jumping around, "Holy crap," Mori exclaimed running to his toy box to yank out the matching white pork bun. "They are the same!"

"Hey, don't say that," Kurogane attempted to chastise before pulling his son into his lap.

"What's it's name daddy," Mori asked as he made the two stuffed animals fly around.

"Modoki," Kurogane said absently as he watched his son play.

"Where did you get it daddy?"

"A friend gave it to me for you," Kurogane said noticing how the word friend didn't taste so bad.

"A special friend daddy," Mori questioned with the innocence of a three year old while leaning against his father's chest sleep apparently catching up to the child as he yawned.

Kurogane thought a moment, "Yeah, I guess the idiot is okay."

Mori closed his eyes falling asleep against his father who was propped up against the couch. Kurogane picked himself and son up bringing Mori to his bedroom which was dragon themed, and placing him on his dragon bed. He pulled the cover up over his son and kissed his forehead before switching on the nightlight and exiting the room.

"So," Yuuko said from behind Kurogane who jumped not having noticed the woman, "What's in the basket," she asked in a teasing manner.

"Shut it you old hag, some idiot I met this weekend gave me muffins as a thank you," he said walking to their bedroom to change for bed. Yuuko was already changed wearing a loose silk black robe decorated with cherry blossoms which hung of one shoulder beneath which she wore a black silk teddy, surprisingly this was normal bedroom attire for her.

"Blueberry muffins," Yuuko clarified, "I looked when I put them in the kitchen."

"Why'd you even ask then, you witch," Kurogane asked in a normal tone as this was a normal way of him addressing his wife and long time friend.

"A thank you for what," she asked in the same teasing manner ignoring the question.

"We ended up drinking together and he got drunk, I took him to his house," he said cutting to the point in hopes of ending and conversation about Fai.

Yuuko smiled knowingly, "Alright then." She said going to her side of the bed as Kurogane pulled on his steel gray sleep pants joining her a moment later. He hated her knowing glances, he hated even more that it was his pride keeping them both in this marriage. "By the way Kurogane, you are such a cute father," she said reaching across the bed and pinching his cheek. Kurogane growled no liking to look soft in front of Yuuko as she always like the opportunity to use it against him.

Kurogane rolled away form Yuuko as they usually slept back to back, images of Fai danced through his mind as he replayed that nights earlier events. He smiled to himself and softly ran his tongue over his lips, where if he tried hard enough, he could still faintly taste Fai.

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><p>AN: So do you hate me? I'm sorry! Fai's, um, interesting sexual past makes for good drama and let's face it this is more angst than humor. Right, this is angst, I'm really not to sure. But on the bright side who didn't like the Mori Kuro cuteness. I love writing the soft Kurogane mostly because I'm a huge fan girl. Anywho, this section was restarted THREE times and I'm still not fully satisfied so be nice.

Also one last thing, I appreciate the reviews! : sorry Fai isn't better yet.

And May! I love your reviews and it was actually partly becuase of it that I decided to for certain put in the part with Mori. :)

Anyway I didn't want to be a liar so I did reply to all of them, but now I'm going to crack down, If you don't have an account I won't be replying but don't stop reviewing! I just don't want to clog up the Author notes.

Next chapter is still being thought of expect delays.

With Love, Adri.


	5. Healing Clarification

I know. Somebody should shoot me. I said to expect delays; but even I didn't think it would be this long. I could spout you the details of my personal life to explain the tremendous gap between updating but I won't. But on a good not my baby sister was born so there is one excuse. Still I suck. I apologize. I don't even have anything remotely special in this chapter to make up for it. Fuck me.

With out furter groveling for forgiveness: I do not own Tsubasa.

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><p>It had been two days since Kurogane had last seen Fai, less then ten minutes since he last thought about him. Of course he wasn't thinking of him in a romantic way, instead he was constantly yelling at the Fai of his mind for being an idiot. He looked to his son Mori who was sitting on Kurogane's right hand side of the dojo busily working away coloring on a large piece of paper, Mokona and Modoki sitting on either side of him. Kurogane turned back to his intermediate class and scowled so violently that the young adolescents knelled in the front row visibly cringed. "If I see that bullshit you guys call Suwa fighting you can expect to run," Kurogane said standing, that being the signal for the class to depart. The students were already trying to find people to practice with before the next class. Last time they had earned a run the majority of them had thrown up while their master had barely broken a sweat.<p>

Mori seeing his father was done picked up his piece of paper and began to run over to his father promptly tripping on the edge of a mat. Kurogane rolled his eyes as his son sat up on his knees obviously embarrassed. Kurogane crouched in front of his son and playfully ruffled the boys hair making the boy perk up. "What did you make," Kurogane asked in his usual stoic voice. He had never changed and he was happy that his son wasn't afraid of him like most of his age group.

Mori looked down at the forgotten paper and held it up to his father's face. "It's a picture!" He put the drawing down on the ground between them and began to explain his imagination. "This is Mokona and Modoki" he said pointing to two black and gray scribbles. He moved his hand to a small red stick figure, "That's me," he said proudly looking to his father who nodded. "This is you, daddy," he said pointing to a taller red figure.

"What are these," Kurogane asked pointing to brown circles placed haphazardly about the paper.

Mori smiled, "Those are muffins!" He picked up the picture and shoved it into his dad's hands. "It's for your friend!"

Kurogane looked up at his sons smiling face, "I don't think I can give this to him."

"Why daddy," Mori asked confused.

"I don't think were friends anymore" Kurogane said standing, taking his son's hand, and walking Mori back to his crayons.

"Oh," Mori sad face dropping into a sad frown. Kurogane peeked at his son through the corner of his eye seeing his straight black bowl cut hair drooping down to cover his ruby colored eyes.

Kurogane sighed not liking to see Mori saddened as any parent would, "I'll go give it to him after dinner."

Mori laughed and hugged his father's arm who smiled in return. He was doing this to make his son happy not because he wanted to see the blonde. Kurogane began to pick up the mats as they weren't needed in the next class when his son called out, "Daddy! What color is your friend hair?"

"Blonde." He said smiling to himself knowing nobody could see his reaction to recounting the soft hair.

Mori scrunched his face looking at his crayons. "Daddy, what's blonde?" Mori looked at his father not understanding the strange word.

"Yellow," Kurogane said better clarifying his statement.

Mori's mouth gaped never having seen a person with yellow hair. "People have yellow hair," he questioned drawing out the last word.

"Yep," he said smiling to his son who smiled back before attacking the paper. Not thinking much of his sons comment Kurogane went about his work waiting for Sakura and Syaoran to return to participate in conducting the Advanced class. The large man sighed heavily, pretending to dread the coming evening, lying to himself. It was not as if he wanted to see the blonde bartender. No, it wasn't.

~o~

Kurogane and Mori arrived home late in the evening as usual on days Mori accompanied his father to work. Yuuko being who she was had ordered a meal from a local restaurant run by a man Watanuki and was ready to dine with her family when she greeted them on the porch. Upon seeing his mother Mori scrambled from the car; fighting his car seat's restraints, running across the lawn, and leaped into Yuuko outstretched arms. "Mommy!" Mori kissed his mother's cheek and squeezed her neck. She looked over her son's shoulder from her crouched position to see the man she was married to walking from the car to the house Mori's small backpack slung about his shoulder as he maintained the what would of seemed to be emotionless expression, though Yuuko knew he was thinking, planning, contemplating. Yuuko rarely ever thought about Kurogane as her "husband" except for the rare occasion when contact between the two was necessary like at family gatherings, not to mention both had needs in which the contact was brief, to the point, and at times awkward. She sighed knowing the pain he felt being trapped in, not a loveless marriage, but just trapped in a marriage. She too had felt the toll the years had taken on her, if not for Mori being conceived in their first year of marriage a divorce would have ensued. Still though she wasn't entirely sure her dear friend Kurogane was in fact attracted to men she had always suspected and because of the unspoken respect between them despite her taunting and his short temper she had decided to wait. Wait for him to decide their happiness was just as important as their son's. Wait for him to fall in love with somebody, knowing he would never divorce unless he was pushed to finally be free for the one he loved. She had started to see signs of a change when Kurogane had answered Mori's question regarding the mystery man in such an honest way thinking he was alone and that Mori was to innocent to register the implied. Yuuko had been descending the stairs when she overheard and thought it best not to mention anything. Perhaps it was this reason alone that later, when Kurogane had announced he would be going out for a few hours on behalf of their son that night, she didn't question or tease she simply smiled her knowing smile, placing her elbows on the table, lacing her fingers together, and resting her chin atop them she simply said, "Okay."

~o~

The car door closed with a thud as Kurogane stuck the key in the ignition. _God dammit, _he thought as he pulled out of the driveway, _Why am I even going? It's not like the fucking idiot wants me around, that was made pretty clear. _Despite himself Kurogane continued to the bar intent on staying only a few minutes to give the blonde the damned picture that was rolled up on the seat next to him. God, what he would do for his son.

Finally reaching the dojo Kurogane parked the car, turning it off, and leaned back against his seat sighing before getting out of his car picture in tow. He growled to himself in anticipation of the annoyance to come. He couldn't deny that as the closer he got to the Cat's Eye the more his stomach found itself in knots. Was this nervousness? He tried to bury the feeling, to forget the blonde's lips on his, to convince himself that he was not under any circumstances nervous or, god forbid, excited about seeing the bartender. He paused out side of the establishment beyond which Fay was busily talking with Tomoyo whilst serving the customers seated about the bar. Kurogane mentally yelled at himself for acting like a teenage girl before growling and pushing the door open.

Smiling, Fai looked towards the door when he heard the familiar sound of the chiming bell was heard. His smile fell just as quickly as his stomach dropped when he saw Kurogane standing awkwardly in the doorway, his heart raced and his forgotten smile was replaced with a noxious smirk. He watched the man make his way to his now regular seat placing a rolled paper on the bar. Tomoyo looked worriedly at her friend as he began to make his way to an awkwardly shifting Kurogane. Tomoyo grabbed the blonde's arm before he could go very far and whispered into the air between them, "Do what you will, just don't get hurt." She let go of his arm and he pulled away giving her a reassuring smile.

Fai reached the end of the bar where Kurogane had seated himself at and in a professional manner, not knowing how to act, he asked "What can I get for you?" He put on a business smile one that established familiarity in order to make the customer comfortable. It was completely fake, and both men knew it. Kurogane looked at the blonde and everything he needed to know was in his deep blue eyes. He could see the apprehension, insecurity, hurt, excitement, and lust.

"Tch, don't smile like that, idiot." Kurogane couldn't help himself, the fake smiles were enough to make him vomit.

Fai dropped the smile replacing it with a sheepish smirk, somehow he felt more comfortable with the harsh words. "Oh, Kuro-chu is always so serious," he said leaning on the bar and flicking his wrist. Though to the average person the exchange between the two was that of a bartender and a regular customer, the two men could both feel the thick air suffocating them, drowning them. The only thing left to do was to see who drowned first.

Kurogane didn't respond instead he looked away from the attractive moron mentally cursing himself as his stomach flipped because of their proximity. The suffocating air finally drowned him and he snapped his head to the bartender who was now nervously playing with a strand of hair. "We should talk." He couldn't believe those words had come out of his mouth, like his life was suddenly becoming a cheesy romance, still though he kept his composure and stoic face.

The blonde looked up wide eyed at the man, mentally calculating all the could-be hidden meanings in that phrase. His mind zeroed in; he was asking for sex. How stupid could he have been to think that maybe this man was different from the rest. Kurogane like others before him only wanted his body. He smiled broadly, "Okay Kuro-myu."

Kurogane visibly flinched at the words that suddenly had a twinge of desperation and smile the deeply misled blonde made. Fai turned around and walked to the other end of the bar where the exit was. Seductively moving his hips while taking off apron tied around his waist and placing on the bar. Kurogane stared after the blonde not able to advert his eyes from the confusing display. Tomoyo looked between the two men wisdom written on her delicate face. She knowingly calculated the time it would take for Kurogane to enlighten Fai on his true, yet subconscious intent.

The taller man's eyes followed the blonde man until he stopped at the stairs behind him. Fai was leaning seductively against the wall, if that was possible, waiting for Kurogane to follow. The man in question picked up the picture his son had drawn reminding himself why he was there. He followed Fai up the stairs into the apartment, he had the feeling that they weren't on the same page.

Fai disappeared through the doorway and into the darkness. Kurogane followed suit hoping to find the idiot turning on the lights. Instead he found Fai sitting on the edge of his bed looking out the window the moonlight streaming in caused Fai's shirt to become translucent highlighting the silhouette of his body. Something about this image of the bartender made Kurogane suddenly concerned, this is what the plastic smiles were hiding. Sadness seeped from the man before he turned to Kurogane and tilted his head in such a way that the smile playing on his lips looked rehearsed, the taller man assumed is was or at least well used. Fai stood up and began to saunter over to the other man who's eyes were wide as he tried to process the situation.

He had to stop this, it wasn't what he had come here for despite what he assumed the idiot thought. He began to protest but was caught off guard the the blonde forcefully pressed his lips to the others slowly deepening the kiss. Kurogane found himself falling into the bartenders skill before gathering his wits and reluctantly breaking the kiss by putting his hand to Fai's chest and firmly pushing him away. "Oi, idiot, what are you doing. I said we were going to talk."

Fai recoiled bringing his arms around himself and looking to the ground. "I thought this is what you wanted," he mumbled almost inaudibly after a long stretched out moment. Kurogane looked around the apartment searching for a light switch which he found behind him and flipped it on. Light illuminated the room and he could see tears brimming on Fai's beautiful blue eyes. Kurogane found himself reaching out towards the lithe man, against his instinct, capturing him in a one arm hug as the other was busy holding the paper. For a moment Fai didn't react to confused and embarrassed to do anything but hold himself then out of his own instinct he looped his arms around the muscular man in front of him and buried his face in his chest.

Kurogane felt wetness in his chest as Fai's tears seeped through his thin red shirt, he pulled away slightly to look down and the smaller man. "Oi, idiot, why are you crying," Kurogane questioned. Fai looked up to the taller man and though his face was stoic he could see concern laced through the crimson eyes peering at him. He sniffled and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"You," he paused trying to find the key hidden inside him somewhere to unlock the words needed for this. "You didn't come to use me," he chocked out as more of a question than a statement while pulling completely away from Kurogane.

Kurogane looked away, scratching the back of his head, "I wouldn't use you," he began awkwardly, "Sex should mean something," he completed nearly mumbling the last part as his face became tinted pink. He laughed at himself as he thought about his marriage and the ironic relation to what he had just said.

Fai turned to him seeming to read the taller man's mind, "Then why are you with your wife," he asked honestly. His lips quivered and his eyes were wide trying desperately to grasp the situation and himself.

The other man sighed heavily feeling as if they had had this conversation in the past. He knew he could just leave, instead he stayed glued to the floor. "Obligation," he stated curtly looking into the blonde's eyes. He could see drowning confusion in the smaller man's sapphire eyes. Though he had no reason to explain or carry on, Fai's eyes propelled him in hopes to ease the drowning. "Obligation to my son, and my wife." He sighed knowing he would have to be the one of the two men to attack the core problem behind the nights events. "What happened between us," he paused overwhelmingly embarrassed that he would have to explain how he felt, "it wasn't an obligation." A long moment passed and when Fai failed to say anything in return Kurogane's blush deepened. "It was because I wanted to you idiot," he said agitated.

Fai felt the heat rush to his face at Kurogane's confession, he was left nearly speechless. Nearly. "Kuro-pi, do... do you like me?" He blushed a deeper red as he watched the taller man become frigid and blushed equally as red.

Kurogane's embarrassment quickly became anger, "I don't know! What do you think, you moron!" He looked to the blonde, and Fai smiled a real smile for the first time that night. The smile was soft on his lips and his eyes became clear. "Here," Kurogane said irritated, rapidly extending the arm clutching Mori's drawing to the blonde.

Fai took the rolled paper wondering what I was. Now in higher spirits he felt the need to tease the other man. "Oh, what is this Kuro-shy? A love letter for me," he asked putting a hand to his chest and batting his eyelashes.

"Shut up you dumbass, why would I give you that girly crap," Kurogane said clutching his fist. The blonde opened up the the scroll like paper to reveal multiple indistinguishable scribbles and extremely long lines mounted with what seemed to resemble circles.

Fai cocked his head to the side and bit his lip attempting to understand what he had been given. "Uh, did you make this Kuro-myu," the blonde questioned noting there were three of the stick-with-a-circle figures.

Kurogane urged himself to be calm, still slowly willing down the embarrassment, the blonde's statement however actually produced a small smirk from him as he thought of the artist behind the picture. Still his voice was rough, "No, blondie, my son made it to thank you for the matching pork bun."

Fai raised an eyebrow at the new name before he looked to the paper and spotting a gray oval, or what was assumed to be an oval made out of chaotic spirals, next to a similar black one. "Shall I assume these are the pork buns," he asked turning the paper to the muscular man and pointing to the ovals.

Kurogane stepped closer to the bartender as he said, "Yeah, and the brown spots are the muffins you made." he said looking over the top of the paper and down across. Fai inspected the muffins and a childish grin grew across his face as his heart warmed at the kind gesture.

"So Kuro-greedy shared the muffins? I thought with the way Sakura-chan said you were eating them secretly in the back of the dojo you might not let anyone have them," Fai said looking up grinning at the martial artist who in turn growled. The bartender unphased by the growling man looked back to the paper, "What are these Kuro-puppy? Flowers?" He pointed to the stick-with-a-circle figures.

"I am not a dog!" Regardless of Kuroganes irritation he looked where the man was pointing. "Those are me and my son, moron. Tch," he said looking away.

Fai looked at the color used to draw the people noting the tallest and shortest were both red with arms extending upwards. The shortest had an overextended arm reaching the other making it so stick-Kurogane and stick-Mori were holding hands, not leaves, as the blonde had previously though the appendages. His smile grew wider, if possible, when he noticed the yellow figure holding Kurogane's hand. "This one is me then!" The blonde hugged the picture tight to his chest as Kurogane raised a concerned eyebrow, last time he checked there were two bodies on that paper. Fai turned the paper so Kurogane could see it clearly, "Look! We're holding hands!"

The taller man's mouth dropped as he recalled the conversation about blonde hair with Mori earlier that day. He looked at the paper and sure enough they were holding hands. "Kuro-chu loves me," Fai screamed as he began prancing about.

"I do not,"Kurogane screamed right back with child like complaint. He sighed as Fai continued to prance when he finally stopped in front of the taller man, Kurogane grabbed Fai's shoulders to get back to the now true conscious reason why he was here.

Fai looked at the man now holding him firmly but not to firmly as to hurt him. "Kuro-stick?" The taller man snarled a bit at the name but continued.

"Listen, I'm not good with words." He turned away a bit to calm the blush from admitting weakness before looking back. "But I don't know how I feel about you."

Fai's smile dropped as he pondered the words, why couldn't anything workout for him? "Oh." He adverted his blue eyes from the piercing red ones.

Seeing the bartenders sudden change Kurogane took a few steps forward so Fai was against the wall. He directed Fai's eyes back to him using his forefinger. "Hey, blondie, look at me. I didn't say I regretted kissing you. I'm just confused. You're confused. Let's not push things. Just let things happen." He backed away from the blonde making his feelings known. It was true, he finally realized it. He felt something for the idiot but what that meant he wasn't sure.

Though Kurogane had stepped away Fai continued to look at him. He contemplated honesty, if he could narrow in on a single truth. On one hand he did want Kurogane, to fall into his usual step of one night stands. On the other hand he wanted to confide in the man to see where what ever this was would go, for once to be honest. Instead he choose the middle ground where he could still with hold details of his past. He advanced forward, same solemn expression on his face.

The larger man stiffened, ready to push off the blonde if need be, but instead Fai looped his arms tightly about Kurogane's torso. "Okay, Kuro-rin," Fai said burying his face in the broad chest. Kurogane fought the urge to get out of the man's arms as he to encircled the other so his arms rested low on the thinner man's waist. Fai pulled his head back to smile ant the taller man.

Kurogane looked back at the shorter man to see his smile was genuine but forced. "I should go, blondie. Yuuko is expecting me home soon." Upon remembering his wife Kurogane noticed that her title of 'wife' had become less important to him.

Fai dropped his arms and stepped away from the taller man, "Of course Kuro-chi." He smiled warmly at the man looking into ruby red eyes.

Kurogane walked awkwardly to the door as Fai followed him with his eyes. He turned suddenly almost as if he had forgotten something with his hand in his hair, "I'll see you later." He stared at Fai with an exasperated look and Fai stared back calmly. "Later," the dark man restated before he turned and walked out the door.

Fai sat on the edge of his bed waiting for Tomoyo's familiar footsteps to come. It would take a few minutes as he assumed she would assume he would need time to dress. But it didn't takes minutes, she came up the stairs almost immediately knowing that nothing had conspired in the apartment that night. She stood in the door way leaning against the wooden frame. Under normal circumstances she wouldn't ask, "What happened Fai-chan?"

He sat looking out into the apartment, "I'm not sure I know, Tomo-chan." It was silent for a moment as he thought. "I think I'm happy with it though." He looked at his friend who looked back at him waiting for him to continue.

Fai didn't continue, as he usually would, instead looking away to rifle through his own emotions. This was all so different from the past two years. Fai found himself grounded, he wasn't pushing the ruby eyed man away. He found himself terrified of being used by Kurogane instead of welcoming the opportunity to feel less empty. Kurogane didn't think he was worthless, to that man, he wasn't an object. For the first time, in a long time, he thought something of himself.

* * *

><p>AN: Alright plot. Plot. Plot. I know. Sue me. Anyway, I will have a treat for you in the next chapter to make up for this. Why? Because I love my followers and appreciate them. Don't lose faith in me guys. I am determined to finish this. But this chapter was hard to type. Seriously. Can you lovely people sense the struggle. But I love the Yuuko insight... personally.

Review regardless if you love it or hate it. And feel free to yell at me.


	6. The Color of a Beginning

Nothing to report. Rating will probably move up to M soon enough.

Do't own.

* * *

><p>Syaoran sat in front of the intermediate class being given the responsibility of the kick sparring that had taken place in class that day. The children huffed, trying desperately to quite there breaths as Kurogane still stood in the wings and was liable to step in at anytime to punish them for losing Suwa composure and revealing their tired state. Though normally a shy young man, Syaoran could be quite intimidating with his cold serious gaze and stoic face he had learned from his own master.<p>

"Class dismissed," Syaoran said expecting the students to immediately bolt like he use to when he was in their position of being close to earning a run.

A girl in the front row spoke suddenly, "Syaoran-sensei!" Her ponytail swished as she waited for recognition.

The now standing master crossed his arms about his chest not relenting the stare he reserved for the more advanced classes. "Hai?"

"Um, me and some of the other students were talking and a lot of us are going out of town for the holiday this weekend."

Kurogane stepped forward with a grunt knowing where the girl was going. "How many of you are leaving?" He watched as nearly 80% of his class raised their hands. He ran his hand over his face, hating fucking federal weekends for interrupting his classes. "Fine. No classes until Monday," he said definitely.

Syaoran leaned in close to the taller master as the children looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Uh, Kurogane-san, the children don't have school Monday."

The taller man looked out of the corner of his eye at the younger boy, "So?"

"They won't be here Monday"

Kurogane growled again, "Fuck! Fine, you all better be here Tuesday. Every one of you. Or so help you god you guys will run the 110!" He looked out to the class who looked visibly terrified of that run. The 110 run was usually reserved for tournament loses. The 110 run consisted of running to the pier, out the interstate, to the 110 mile marker with your camping equipment, staying the night and running back the next day. The town ended at the 90 mile marker. "Class dismissed."

The adolescents did indeed bolt knowing the establishment was no longer safe. What they didn't know is that Kurogane was secretly excited to spend a weekend with his son. Really just getting a weekend off would have sufficed but a five day weekend was even better. Being the sole owner of the center made it next to impossible to ever get time to do mundane shit around the house or take his son to the movies or local amusement park. Something that normal monday-through-friday-nine-to-fivers took for granted. No matter how much he hated his marriage he loved his family and being the provider. It was all like a suburban dream.

~o~

The next morning Kurogane awoke at a shocking 8 am when Yuuko got out of bed most likely to go to the kitchen. "Mornin' Mommy." Kurogane cracked his eye to find Mori perched on the end of the bed staring out the door his mother just left through. "Daddy, there's a swimming pool in the kitchen," Mori said looking back to his dad.

"What," Kurogane asked rubbing sleep from his eyes and sitting himself up so he could look at his son while he tried to comprehend what the little person was saying. He didn't have time to though as he heard Yuuko scream.

Kurogane went into defensive mode assuming the worst by the way she screamed. "Kurogane!" Said man scooped his son up and ran down the hallway, descended the carpeted stairs only to see Yuuko standing unharmed at the mouth of the kitchen, mouth agape.

"Fuck woman! I thought somebody had broken in," Kurogane said expressing his concern for his family's safety. He advanced to see what Yuuko was looking at in shock only to come upon a flooded kitchen. "Shit! Shit! Shit," Kurogane said grasping the situation and thrusting Mori into Yuuko's arms and running down the hallway on the right side of the stairs to the back door to turn the water off at the main valve.

Kurogane came back to stand beside Yuuko to asses the damage. "Damage looks minimal," he said seeing the water hadn't had time to fester and seep under the well installed wood. Suddenly he felt Yuuko's hand hit his sternum. "What was that for, hag?" He ran his hand over his chest thinking, not for the first time, that he regretted teaching her the family fighting style.

"Don't cuss in front of Mori, you brute." They paused seeing their weekend had begun. "I'll get towels," she said lazily. Yuuko set Mori down in the living room adjacent to the kitchen.

Kurogane knelled rolling up his pant legs before glancing behind him where Mori was busy playing. "Told ya there was a pool in the kitchen, Daddy." Kurogane shook his head, _Just like his mother._

He walked into the kitchen and regardless of the fact he had rolled his pants up he felt the splashes reaching them. He squatted in front on the sink to identify the problem. Some of the piping had become cracked and had been spraying water about the kitchen. "Find the problem," Yuuko asked from behind effectively causing Kurogane to lose his balance and ass-plant onto the flooded floor.

"At least you can get something wet," Yuuko laughed at the man who was silently fuming.

"Shut it you hag." Simple exchange, considering he choose not to take the bait. Yuuko raised an eyebrow while she was bent over sopping up the liquid with all the towels she could find.

"Jesus, it smells," Yuuko said raising a hand to her nose.

Kurogane, currently loosening the pipe with his fingers, said absentmindedly, "Maybe it's the water."Yuuko stood abruptly leaving the room. Kurogane vaguely looked over his shoulder to see where she was going. He finally got the pipe loose and pulled it out, looking at he decided that it was best to go to the hardware store instead of trying to repair the piping. He stood going to go find Yuuko to tell her what he had decided to do.

His wife was exiting the bathroom wiping her mouth when he said, "Hey I'm going to the hardware store. I'm going to change first. Pull out the industrial fans from the garage so you can turn them on when the water is mostly gone.

Yuuko looked at him, "Alright just hurry so I can shower. I feel disgusting," she said throwing herself dramatically against the wall.

"Whatever, thespian," he said recalling the days she dragged him to rehearsals.

He did as he said he would dressing himself in a black muscle shirt and dark red flannel with faded blue jeans. He made his way down the stairs seeing that Mori was now helping his mother in the kitchen which was almost water free. He went to garage and pulled out the fans that would dry the floor. Upon returning he saw Yuuko touching her head to Mori's smiling as he kissed the air. Instead of interrupting the moment Kurogane left to the hardware store grabbing the broken pipe. Just a mundane day in normal suburbia.

~o~

Fai was looking at two separate paint sample contemplating which color was best for his small kitchen section. He had woken up that morning inspired to do something, anything really. Painting his apartment's kitchen just seemed perfect, so he threw on some worn jeans and a white v-neck heading out the door with money for paint.

He ambled over to the paint counter answering the necessary questions associated with paint and waiting while the paint was mixed to the right color. Fai grabbed the can and began exploring the warehouse never really being a handyman he found certain contraptions interesting. It was in the middle of his exploration of the plumbing section when he spotted a tall, dark, and intimidating man comparing two pipes. He smiled broadly as his stomach fluttered at the first sighting of the man since the mutual agreement in his apartment. He remained at the end of the isle taking in the man in the middle of the stretch of plumbing needs.

Kurogane turned his head slightly sensing somebody in the isle with him, he saw the blonde and bared his teeth in his usual fashion of irritation. The blonde in question skipped down the isle towards Kurogane paint can sloshing behind him as he went, having taken the bared teeth as a sign to continue at will. He stopped beside the taller man, "What are we doing Kuro-handy," Fai asked looking at and 's' shaped piece of piping.

Kurogane mockingly chuckled, "_We_ aren't doing anything."He looked to the blonde noting the paint can now on the floor before looking back to the blonde to see that he was playing with two pipes. Kurogane looked back to his own task at hand asking with faked disinterest, "What are you doing?"

"Me," Fai asked smiling happy to be acknowledged. "I'm painting!" He picked up his paint can showing it to Kurogane.

Kurogane snorted a laugh, "Who trusted you to paint?" He looked to Fai out of the corner of his eye. "Don't sniff it."

Fai placed his hands in his hips. "Kuro-rude, I'm not dumb."

"Really now?" Kurogane began walking to the checkout lanes. "All you have is paint. I'm assuming you have brushes, tape, rollers, and trays back at the bar." He looked behind him to a trailing idiot. "Because you're not dumb"

Fai thought a moment realizing that no he didn't and he also didn't have the money for the items, at least not on him. "I have all the stuff," Kurogane suddenly stated irritated thinking that the idiot was actually doing this on a whim.

"Kuro-chan is being nice to me," Fai exclaimed making the cashier eye him as if he was a mental patient on a field trip.

The taller man who must of looked like the mental patients care taker whipped around, "Shut it you moron!" Fai put his hands up defensively smiling like a child who wasn't taking an adult seriously. "I'm not being nice, I'm being practical idiot."

Fai smiled sheepishly, "Should I come by and get all the stuff then Kuro-chu?"

Kurogane looked up sharply, horrible images of the blonde and Yuuko together flashing through his mind. "No," the taller man said a little to quickly. "I'll, um, bring it over in a bit. After I fix the pipe that broke in the kitchen."

Fai handed the bill over to the cashier, thinking a moment. "When should I give the stuff back to you, Kuro-myu?" Fai said turning to a waiting Kurogane as they began exiting the store.

"I'll just take it with me when I leave," Kurogane answered nonchalantly as he unlocked his car door.

Fai stopped in his tracks by the trunk of the car, "I thought you said _we_ weren't doing anything Kuro-liar."

He placed an arm on his open door, "We aren't. I'll probably do most of the work, blondie."

Fai smiled brightly at the man's words. "Okay Kuro-cute."

Kurogane growled, "I'm not cute you fucking moron!" He got into the car starting the engine as Fai stepped away to give him room to move his car. One he was fully pulled out he looked to the bartender who waved goodbye from his position outside the driver's window. Kurogane nodded and took off. Exiting the parking lot he looked in hie rear view mirror seeing the blonde idiot skipping off in the opposite direction. In all honesty he was pretty happy himself.

~o~

When Kurogane arrived home he heard Mori and Yuuko in the back yard, deciding it was best to install the pipe before Mori found him and wanted to play. He went to the kitchen and sat with his back to the sink proceeding to put his torso underneath the sink to install the pipe. He was just about finished, having tightened the pipe as much as possible with his calloused fingers All that was left to do was get a crescent wrench from the garage and turn the water on.

Yuuko having heard her husbands arrival went inside leaving Mori in the gated back yard to play in his personal sand box. She entered the kitchen quietly having grabbed the wrench knowing Kurogane would need it when she initially saw he hadn't bothered to grab it. She crouched next to the large man silently handing him the wrench which he took.

"Where's the kid," Kurogane asked tightening the top half of the pipe. Looking out of the corner of his eye at Yuuko, who was currently sitting cross-legged at his feet, for an answer.

"Playing in the sand box. Why do you think the pipe burst?" She took a swig of the large jug of water she had.

Kurogane had moved on to tightening the other end of the pipe answering Yuuko's question and he turned the wrench. "Some cock sucker probably just put in some faulty piping."

Yuuko thought a moment, on elbow resting on her knee so her hand could support her head, the other draped lazily across her thigh. "Think we can sue them," she asked with an evil smirk as she thought about the fun she would have if they did.

Done fixing the sink's underbelly Kurogane sat up, "Tch. You have an unhealthy need to torture people, bitch." Yuuko snorted unoffended.

"Well the glove does fit in this case. That's why I married you," Yuuko said as a response. Kurogane raised an eyebrow knowing she wasn't done, "I married you because you have a short fuse." She smiled almost daring him to take the bait.

"You married me because nobody else could put up with your crazy antics!" He tossed the wrench at he which she caught and dangled in front of her.

Yuuko cackled, "BOOM!" She continued to laugh at the irritated man. Once she finally calmed down Kurogane looked at her debating whether or not he wanted to fight with her. No. She always went for the balls.

He sighed heavily with irritation before noticing the jug at long last. "Whats with the water jug?"

Yuuko's eyes narrowed, "Dehydration, I guess. I felt a little light headed." A moment of silence passed between the two. "Since I got you the wrench, make breakfast," she said standing. Kurogane ran a hand over his face, He should of known her kindness didn't come free.

He stood offering his hand to the woman on the floor. "Hey I'm going out for a few hours. We'll go out to dinner tonight when I get back. I'm going to help a friend paint."

"Since when do you have friends,"Yuuko teased pinching his cheek. Which he swiped away from his cheek. "Well anyway don't forget breakfast, well brunch really." She stalked out of the kitchen no doubt to go get Mori and shower.

An hour later Kurogane was leaving saying goodbye to his son and Yuuko, off to most likely give himself and aneurism

~o~

When Kurogane arrived at Cat's Eye he found the bar was open and dark not having opened yet. He made his way upstairs where he found the door to the apartment closed. Kurogane briefly wondered what kind of security system the idiot was implementing before knocking.

Fai opened the door swiftly nearly knocking himself over from the force of his pull. "Kuro-puu! You actually came, I was starting to worry!" He pulled Kurogane inside by his wrist and threw his full body into the taller man for a hug resulting in Kurogane losing his balance and falling to the floor with the blonde on top of him. Cue that aneurism.

Fai sat up in Kurogane's lap "I'm sorry Kuro-myu, I was just happy to see you."

"Oi, idiot! Get off of me," Kurogane said through clenched teeth as he willed the blush away from his cheeks. Fai shrugged but obliged by swinging his body so he sat next to Kurogane before standing and offering his hand. Kurogane rubbed the back of his head and denied the help instead arching his back and using his muscles to propel himself onto his feet.

Fai hugged the taller man less exuberantly than the last time, liking to be against the man's chest. "Let's get started Kuro-pi!" Kurogane looked to the kitchen, and graoned running a hand over his face.

"Blondie, you didn't move and of the appliances," he said like and exhausted babysitter. He was suddenly glad that he had assumed the worst and brought everything they could possibly need.

Fai looked to the kitchen as well scratching his head, finger finding it's way past the now loose locks. "Why would we need to move the refrigerator and stove, Kuro-sama?"

"Because if we don't we'll have to paint around the shit and it will look like shit too." Kurogane said crouching to pull out a tarp, painter's tape, brushes, a screwdriver, anything you needed to paint. Where's the paint, blondie?"

Fai went to the door where the paint had been placed beside it and brought it to Kurogane, "Here it is Kuro-handy."

The taller man took the paint from the bartender who had shoved the can in his face using the screwdriver to open it. The can popped open with a loud noise, "Yellow," Kurogane stated looking at the paint in the can.

"Yeah! Isn't it pretty Kuro-san," Fai asked getting the paint brushes ready for painting the kitchen's corner.

Kurogane poured the liquid into a tray and prepared a roller, seeing the idiot had no idea that brushes weren't nearly as efficient. "Why, yellow though," he asked a little awkwardly not usually asking so many questions.

Fai leaned against the counter extending his arms upward as he said, "It just felt like a yellow day." It was so simple.

Kurogane made an affirmative noise, knowing no amount of explanation would help him understand. He stood with the blue painters tape in hand, "Where do you want the border to be?"

The blonde looked around, "Um, here," he said skipping over and pointing to a spot on the left hand wall about a foot away from fridge. "And here," he said once again prancing to the right hand wall and pointing to a spot about a foot away from the stove.

The taller more handy man of the two grabbed the step ladder he brought with him and began taping the side and ceiling border. "So which brush do you want Kuro-tan," Fai asked from the middle of the kitchen.

"Tch. How about you help me tape, idiot?" Kurogane stretched reaching for the ceiling causing his muscle shirt to raise slightly reveling the v-shaped outline on his pelvis causing Fai to blush and turn away to grab tape.

"Should I tape the counter tops, Kuro-chu," Fai asked turning to face the man who 'mmm'-ed in response. Kurogane finished taping the ceiling and ran the tape down the opposite wall of where he started while Fai was finishing the counter. He went to the fridgeand pulled it away from the wall so they could paint.

"Hey blondie, come er' and tape this," Kurogane commanded stepping away to move the stove.

Fai stood straight and saluted the taller man, "Yes, Kuro-sir!" One the rest of the area was taped Fai ran over to Kurogane who was putting together the rollers. "Hey, why aren't we using the brushes?" Fai's bottom lip protruded into a pout.

Kurogane turned his head slightly to answer the blonde and immediately growled seeing the blonde's pouting face. "Fuck it. Fine. Let's just get this over with so I can fucking leave" He gave the blonde a brush and poured another tray of paint since the wouldn't be using the rollers. He picked up his tray standing, "You do over the counters and I'll start high."

"Okay Kuro-myu," Fai went to the radio by his bed and switched it on before beginning to paint haphazardly. Conversely Kurogane was strategically painting against the ceiling and scoffing at the blonde who was sure to make a mess.

Kurogane stepped of the step ladder to move it so he could paint the next section. Once on the ground. The music changed picking up the tempo and Fai began to paint in time with the music as he swiveled his hips. Kurogane tried to look away but found himself stuck, watching the bartender paint and dance.

Fai feeling watched stopped and looked over his shoulder and seeing the taller man staring he blushed, "What is it Kuro-puu?"

"Nothing," Kurogane said looking away to continue painting hiding his own blush. He cursed himself when he realized the blonde stopped dancing after being caught.

A moment of embarrassed silence passed between the two before Fai cleared is throat. "Where did you get so good at painting, Kuro-chi?" Fai said glancing at the man smiling then returning to the task at hand.

"Nnnn, when we got the house Yuuko wanted to paint, but she was three months pregnant with Mori and I didn't want her to be around the smell so I sent her to her moms for the weekend and painted the entire damn house all the colors she had picked out with Syaoran," he said uninterested. "We were forced to be efficient." He moved again reaching the corner of the kitchen having to lean over the counter to paint his area.

"Why couldn't Yuuko help?" Fai continued his childish paint strokes.

"She would get noxious easily when she was pregnant," he said moving again. Fai himself had finished the opposite wall above the counter figuring they would both do the bottom section. "Blondie, I'm tired of this shit."

Fai looked up, "What do you mean Kuro-pipi?"

"You don't talk about yourself enough, idiot. Do you really fucking care about this shit?" Kurogane moved again approaching the end of the second walls section.

Fai smiled to himself, "Of course I do Kuro-silly. I like knowing about you."

Kurogane moved for what would be the last time. "Yeah, well maybe I wanna know about your dumbass," he mumbled under his breath, scowl on his face.

Fai's went into shock and it showed on his face before his smile widened beyond belief. "What did you just say Kuro-sweet."

Kurogane blushed, "I didn't say anything fuck tard!"

"Ahh, c'mon! Say it I couldn't here you Kuro-cute." Fai cupped his ear knowing he had planted the seed that would gie him what he wanted by calling the taller man cute.

Kurogane turned with murder in his eyes, "I'm not cute you idiot blonde bartender! I said I wanna know shit about you, too!"

Fai smiled sheepishly. "All you have to do is ask Kuro-boom." They both turned back to painting; Fai content with himself and Kurogane wallowing in anger. "What do you want to know Kuro-curious?"

Kurogane stepped down from the step ladder done with the upper third. "I don't fucking know," he said embarrassed all over again. "You like to ask about me and Yuuko, so what was your longest relationship?"

Fai froze up but something pushed him to continue. "Three years," he said curtly, gulping in oxygen. The darker man raised an eyebrow sensing he was reluctant to talk about it.

"If you don't want to talk about it we don't have to just don't lie to me," Kurogane said leaning on the counter farthest from where Fai was finishing.

Fai clutched the paintbrush feeling propelled to keep going to get this out. "His name was," he paused sensing Kurogane was quietly staring at him, "Ashura." He looked at Kurogane who stared back at him.

"Okay," the taller man said accepting the little bit of information he had gotten. "Let's finish and paint the bottom so I can put this shit back where it goes," he said tapping the stove with his foot.

Fai began painting where the fridge had been, first drawing a smiley face. Kurogane deserved to know more about him no matter how much he didn't want to tell him he knew it was the only way to keep him in his life. He had to make himself vulnerable. "Kuro-myu, you remember when you asked me about my family?" He waited for the silence response of the taller man who was instead of painting the space where the stove had been was evening out Fai's paint job. "I had a brother, Yuui. He was my twin. When we were 16 his girlfriend of four years died in a car accident and he killed himself. After that it was hard for my parents to look at me. I reminded them of him in everything I did and suddenly they had put all their hope in me. When I was 17 I had my first boyfriend and my dad found out. He beat me until I could barely stand. All the while telling me he wished I was dead instead of Yuui. He didn't want a faggot son, so he told me to leave. I did and never went back." Both men had stopped painting. Fai chuckled darkly.

Kurogane folded his arms across his chest. "You didn't have to tell me that, blondie"

Fai breathed deeply and sighed, "I know, but I wanted you to know."

They began working again. "My parents never knew about me. When my dad died I thought that I would finally be able to be free to be with who I wanted to but that didn't happen. He asked me to marry Yuuko before he died and I did to make him happy. Once we were married there was no turning back." Fai finished his section and stood up to stand by Kurogane who was still evening out paint.

"So Yuuko doesn't know," Fai said leaning on the counter.

Kurogane finished "I'm pretty sure she does, she won't say anything though." He glanced at the blonde "Let's do that section," he said motioning to the still unpainted space where the stove belonged. They both crouched on the small space.

Fai smiled deviously, "So is it _my_ turn to ask you a question, Kuro-chu?"

Kurogane eyed him from the corner of his eye. "I guess," the taller man said knowing he would regret agreeing to this.

"When did you lose your virginity?" Fai laughed out loud as Kurogane blushed several shades of red.

"That's none of your damn business," Kurogane said evenly.

Fai smiled, "Ahh, you're blushing. C'mon are you embarrassed Kuro-tan?"

"I do not blush!" Kurogane turned to look at the blonde man. "Sixteen! Are you fucking happy now, idiot?"

Fai laid back on the floor laughing. "Kuro-chan, you're to cute."

"Tch. Whatever." The larger man started painting again. Fai sat up dipping his brush and painting a tree on the still white wall. "What about you," Kurogane asked trying to sound nonchalant.

Fai laughed a little turning to Kurogane, "Now that's none of your business." Kurogane turned to look at the bartender and say something about the bonde being an idiot but was caught off guard when Fai ran his paint brush over Kurogane's nose.

Kurogane growled and for some cosmically unknown reason he took his own paint brush and ran it across Fai's entire face. "I don't play the double-fucking-standard game blondie,"He said resting his arm on his raised knee.

Fai smiled sitting on his knees, "Seventeen." Kurogane looked at the smiling blonde intently relishing the smile that made his heartbeat quicken. He put his hand to the smaller man's face and ran a calloused finger over his cheek spreading the paint.

Fai's smile lessened into contentment as he leaned into the hand on his cheek. Kurogane used his hand to tilt the bartender towards him, not thinking just doing. He brought himself forward meeting the paler man's lips. Fan sat up on his knees wrapping his arms around Kurogane's neck in attempt to be closer. In return the bigger man adjusted his legs so they were on either side of Fai, scooting forward and placing his hands on the others slender hips so they were even closer.

Fai licked desperately at Kurogane's lips before retreating letting the larger man's know to take the lead. With that persuasion said man couldn't resist licking the pale lip's before diving into the delicious cavern. He ran his tongue over Fai's, rousing it from it's obedient resting place to play. Grappling each other tongue's feverishly as Kurogane brought his hand to clutch the blonde hair bringing forth a dry moan from the blonde's throat, the vibrations traveling across the other man's tongue.

Thoroughly pleased with the blonde's reaction Kurogane set forth in bringing forth more moans of satisfaction from the smaller man. He nipped at the blonde's bottom lip as he pulled away to kiss the flesh of the jawline, using his tongue to lick the pale flesh.

Fai's panting grew heavy driving Kurogane to an aroused sadistic nature. "If you moan," he licked Fai's lips, "I will leave a bite mark where people will see it." He kissed the base of the blonde's neck and licked up to behind the ear lobe realizing he was never like this before in regards to his aroused behavior. Fai bit his lip to hold back the moan in his mouth instead moving his hands to Kurogane's head to bring him closer to his heated skin.

The taller man determined to win this game moved his hands underneath the blonde's t-shirt to rest his hands on the soft skin of Fai's side gently massaging the pale flesh. Fai closed his eyes and bit him lip harder. Kurogane noticed how close he was to winning and made a bold move, running his thumb over Fai's nipple.

"Kuro," Fai moaned out. Upon hearing his name Kurogane bit down on the neck of the blonde's willing flesh making Fai moan deep in his chest.

Kurogane then planted soft gentle kisses on the bruising flesh, making his apologies. He blew gently on the saliva trails left by his tongue sending shivers down the blonde's spine who was breathing heavily trying to remember the last time he had been so aroused through something as simple as making out.

"Is that it," Fai asked laughing breathlessly planting a kiss on the top of the larger man's head before lowering himself to eye level with Kurogane.

The taller man surprisingly smirked, moving his hands to slender hips. "For now." He looked to the wall. "We should finish painting," he said grabbing the paint brush and moving the blonde off his lap. Fai sat back against the counter smiling to himself while Kurogane finished painting the white spot.

Once finished with the spot Fai looked to Kurogane who stood, "Thanks for coming to help me today Kuro-myu. You didn't have to."

"Yeah. I did," he said offering his hand to the sitting blonde who raised his eyebrow. "You would have fucking destroyed your house if I didn't" Once the blonde had moved he put the stove back while Fai went to grab towels for their faces.

Fai returned a moment later and the kitchen was back together tossing the towel to Kurogane who had removed his flannel so he was wearing his black muscle shirt. "Blondie, I gotta go. I promised Mori I'd take him to the park before dinner."

Fai frowned, pouting. "Kuro-sexy's leaving?"

Kurogane scowled at the blonde for saying such stupid things. "Hn," he said affirming that yes he would be leaving while packing up all the stuff he had brought.

"Um, Kuro-chu?" Fai twiddled his fingers realizing that what he had been thinking while getting the towels was stupid. Kurogane looked up with his signature stoic look waiting for him to continue. "Well would you say that were getting to know each other, because people who get to know each other the way we are usually go on, um, like, dates." Fai blushed looking up at Kurogane who also had a light blush on his cheeks. Fai turned away, "Never mind! It's dumb."

Kurogane thought a moment, "No. Let's do something" Kurogane ran a hand through his hair.

"Really, you don't have to," Fai said feeling he was forcing the taller men.

"Wanna go to the arcade on the pier tomorrow," the taller of the two asked. Fai just stared to shocked to answer. "Well then I'll see you tomorrow. Six o'clock" He picked up his stuff walking past the blonde to the door. "Close your mouth, moron. Later."

Fai stared after Kurogane as he heard him descend the stairs. He turned back to the kitchen Smiling to himself recalling the events of just what seemed a few moments ago. Today had been a good day for yellow.

* * *

><p>I didn't do a lot of editing becuase I wanted to get this up so it's probably reallyrough especially towards the end. The other stuff had bee reread a few times thus probably less problamatic.<p>

I really enjoyed all the reviews on te last chapter, keep them coming. :)

Love Adri.


	7. Carnival Lights

A/N: Alrighty 13 days I think since the last update, once again this was a really hard chapter to write mostly because I wrote it blind without any sort of idea of what I wanted to happen so everything is rather spontaneous and sparatic. Lame, I know.

Anywho I don't own these wonderful characters.

* * *

><p>Kurogane opened the front door of his house, after having returned from Fai's apartment, to be promptly acknowledged by his son. "Daddy! Are we goin' to the park." Kurogane grunted and walked to the garage to set down the paint supplies, a patiently waiting Mori trailing behind. Once the various items were back in place Kurogane turned to his son who ran to the stoic man and clamored into his father's arms.<p>

"Where's your mom, kid," Kurogane asked walking out of the garage with Mori stationed on his back.

Mori piped up smiling brightly, "Mommy's sleeping." Kurogane stopped mid-stride turning his head so he could see his son's face.

"She left you down stairs. Alone," the small boy's father asked not liking the idea of the boy being ineffectively looked after.

Mori shook his head, "No. Mommy took a nap with me. Then I woke up!" He said throwing his hands in the air as if his waking up was the most fantastic thing of his day.

"Hn."He put Mori down in the living. Looking at his son sternly he asked, "Why did your mom fall asleep?"

Mori thought a moment playing with the hem of his shirt feeling as if he was about to get scolded. "I don't know. Mommy just said she didn't feel good," Mori said refusing to meet his father's gaze.

"Hey," Kurogane said lifting his sons chin, "you're not in trouble. Stay down here for a few minutes." He reached behind where he was crouched and handed his son Mokona and Modoki and ruffled his hair.

Mori swatted his dad's hand away smiling, "Okay, Daddy." Kurogane picked himself up and made his way up the stairs to his room where he assumed Yuuko would be sleeping. When he didn't find her he walked a bit down the hall to Mori's room where sure enough Yuuko was sleeping in their son's dragon bed. He walked over to the bed and crouched next to his fake wife rousing her from sleep.

Yuuko cracked her eye glaring at the man who had awoken her. "What," she mumbled into a pillow while turning away from Kurogane.

Kurogane continued, "Better not be sick."

Yuuko laughed darkly sitting up and pinching Kurogane's cheek, "Oh, aren't you caring."

Kurogane growled and swiped Yuuko's hand away much like his son had done to him. He scowled at the evilly smiling woman. "I'm not sick. I'm just tired."

Kurogane smirked, "Good, because I don't wanna pay a babysitter tomorrow."

Yuuko smiled knowingly, "And here I thought you were concerned about your wife."

"If you were to keel over it would only be a favor." Yuuko laughed at the taller man.

"Shut it, brute."

Kurogane walked towards the door. "Tch. I'm taking Mori to the park. Get some rest."

"I knew you were concerned," Yuuko said in a teasing manner. Kurogane picked up a random stuffed animal and threw it harshly at the dark haired woman who dodged it. He left the room and walked down the hallway to the stairs and into the living room where Mori was playing with his favorite toys.

"Let's go to the park then and when we're done we'll go eat dinner." Kurogane said to his son while walking into the kitchen for two water bottles.

Mori smiled open mouthed, "Yay!" He ran to get his shoes by the front door and grab his pail and shovel.

Outside the sun was beginning it's first decent in the sky and the air was deliciously warm as Mori ran ahead of his father towards the neighborhood park. Kurogane watched his son the usual scowl seeming less intimidating. He couldn't help but think about Fai as they arrived at the park and he handed Mori his bucket so the small boy could play in the sand. What exactly had he gotten himself into by agreeing to take Fai out, on a date no less. He had never taken anyone out on a date, not even Yuuko. What exactly did it mean for him? For them? Was there even a 'them'? Why couldn't things be simple? When he had agreed to doing something with Fai his skin had been hot and everything seemed out of focus. He was beginning to realize something about the idiot blonde. He liked the way he talked and laughed and smiled and showed how he felt in his eyes. The way his hair was silky and thick and his skin was soft to the touch. The moron made him nervous, made him want to keep talking. He was starting to realize that perhaps the idiot made him happy. Perhaps he even liked the other perfectly annoying man. Fuck.

It was approaching the end of their trip to the park and it was the scene that had been playing out during all their trips for the last seven months. Mori was standing at the top of the jungle gym looking at the fireman's pole. Kurogane watched his son touch the pole tentatively wrapping his fingers around the metal that had been warmed by the sun. He looked to his father sitting patiently for his son to decide what he was going to do. Mori looked away from his father and back top the pole leaning off the side of the jungle gym, hugging the pole to himself. He wrapped his right leg around the pole and giving into childhood faith he lifted his other foot and wrapped it around the pole. He descended the pole heart racing for the short ride before his feet hit the sand beneath him making a soft 'pat' sound. The small boy staggered up and looked to the pole amazed that he had finally accomplished it. His father rose prepared to take car of any scrapes."Daddy! I did it! Did you see me?"

Kurogane smirked at his son as he ran to him to share his victory. It was then that the stoic man thought to himself, maybe it is simple. All he had to do was grab on and let go giving way to the uncertain because chances were he was just over thinking.

~o~

Yuuko eyed Kurogane from the couch the next night noting that unlike most nights he went out he wasn't waiting for Mori to go to sleep. Not only that but he was trying hard to look like he hadn't put any effort into what he was wearing. In all actuality he had changed his shirt three times before settling on a plain black hoodie with a red dragon running up the center of the back and matching red wife beater with faded dark blue jeans.

He walked into the living room and bent over the couch to ruffle Mori's hair and say goodbye to his family. "You sure smell good," Yuuko said smiling as Kurogane stood up straight.

"Hn, I didn't do anything different. I don't know when I'll be back." Kurogane said with his signature scowl and monotone voice. Walking out the front door the tall man could hear his son saying goodbye and feel Yuuko smile after him.

Kurogane approached his usual parking spot preparing to go pick Fai up for the evening. In his mind he wasn't calling this a date. They were going out. There wasn't a plan other than the arcade. He approached the bar seeing that other people were opening the door to enter signaling the night had begun, at least for some.

The damn nervous feeling was back as he opened the bar door to see Tomoyo smiling behind the bar assisting a customer. She saw him and cocked her head to the stairwell signaling the man to go upstairs.

Fai was rushing about his apartment trying desperately to avoid a mirror so he wouldn't change. He was currently spraying himself with a fruity spray when he heard a knock on his door. He fluffed his hair once more before opening the door. "Kuro-pi!" He hugged the taller man and knowing that nobody could see them he kissed the others neck.

Kurogane grunted in mock aggravation, "Ready to go blondie?" Fai leaned back through the doorway and hit the switch for the light closing the door behind him.

"Ready when you are Kuro-myu," Fai said rocking on his heals waiting for Kurogane to take the lead down the stairs. The larger man turned in his irritated fashion and began his descent down the stairs with the smaller man happily trailing behind him as they made their way towards the door.

Fai waved goodbye to Tomoyo as him and Kurogane exited the bar to the quite back alley. The setting sun's warmth greeted his cheeks as he and the taller man began to stroll out to the main street in what could be described as a comfortable awkward silence. Fai's hands were clasped behind his back as he skipped and Kurogane's were shoved deep into his pockets. Fai smiled deviously seeing it was him that would have to open the lines of communication. "Kuro-chi, are we going to hold hands," Fai asked tugging on Kurogane's wrist.

The taller man blushed when he felt Fai's cool fingers tugging on his warm wrist. He extracted his hand and gently shoved the smaller away, "Fuck no, idiot." He shoved his hand back into his pockets balling his hands into fists.

Suddenly Fai realized why the larger man kept avoiding his eyes, why he was standing a safe distance away from the blonde, even for him. "Kuro-shy, you've never been on a date, huh?" Fai smiled amused as the man blushed yet again.

Kurogane growled but choose to speak other than turning around and heading towards his car. "What the fuck do you expect? I've been with Yuuko since I was 15 fucking-years-old and the only reason were together is because I decked a fucker in the face for harassing her." He smiled a little at the memory of blood. "And this isn't a date, moron!"

Fai smiled even wider, "Kuro-chu, have you ever been with a man?" Kurogane slapped his hand over his thoroughly red face and growled viciously. Seeing the man's reaction Fai began to laugh before throwing himself at the mans side and hugging him close.

"Get off of me you idiot," screamed Kurogane as he pried the blonde from him. "People will get the wrong idea, moron," he said more quietly but still aggravated as people stared at them when he yelled.

Fai backed off a respectable distance but still stayed within close proximity to the taller for which he was secretly thankful for. A moment of silence passed before Fai turned smiling warmly at the taller man who was still slightly fuming, "It's okay if you haven't Kuro-san."

Kurogane lulled this over in his mind for a bit, he knew the blonde meant what he said and he found comfort knowing that. "Blondie, what exactly do you wanna do tonight," he asked as they continued walking towards the arcade on the pier.

Fai thought a moment with an over animated gesture of his finger to his chin, "Hold Kuro-shy's hand." The taller narrowed his eyes at this prompting Fai to be serious."I don't care Kuro-chan, I'm just happy to be with you," he added shyly as they approached the pier.

Kurogane looked away blushing at the blonde's admission. "Hn," was all he said in reply. Beside him he could feel the bartender smile warmly as he resisted reaching out to the taller man he currently found himself with.

"Kuro-san, why did you choose the arcade," Fai asked as he saw the large doors leading to the arcade rising into view.

"I spent a lot of time here as a kid. At the pier in general. Me and my friends wrecked havoc. Riding our bikes up and down the pier, smoking under the stairs leading to the beach, getting into fights; the security guards chased us off more than once." He smiled remembering the stupidity of his youth.

Fai smiled too as Kurogane talked, "But why did you spend so much time here," asked Fai as Kurogane opened the heavy door for him.

The noise was loud and high pitched, the ringing was everywhere and the dim colored lights lit the expansive arcade room. "Lotsa people, easy to get lost in the crowd. To not be recognized when you don't want to be. At least it was that way when I was younger," he added the last part as he saw two youth from one of his classes kiss and giggle before ducking into a photo booth.

"Why would you wanna hide? I'm sure everybody wanted to hide from Kuro-scary," Fai said playfully jabbing Kurogane in the side.

The martial artist growled a bit not really wanting to give away all his secrets though knowing resistance was futile with the blonde. Still he had to try, "Let's get a drink," he said eying the bar while also hoping Fai would drop the subject.

"But Kuro-pi, you didn't answer my question." Fai whined, "and I own a bar, I don't need to go to one with you."

Kurogane huffed a slightly longer piece of hair out of his face, "Fine let's, um..." It was now that Kurogane became a bit flustered as the blue orbs belonging to Fai studied him.

"Why are you avoiding the question, Kuro-pu," Fai questioned amused at the larger man's frustration.

"I'm not avoiding anything blondie! It's not like you answer all my questions," he countered quite satisfied with himself as they stood in the middle of the arcade not yet busy with teenagers.

Fai pouted halfheartedly before perking up gaining an idea that could lead to an interesting evening. "Fine, let's play a game." Kurogane raised an eyebrow not expecting that from the blonde. "If you win I'll answer any question you want, if I win you answer mine."

Somehow the idea of redeeming himself in a challenge with Fai really appealed to him. "Agreed. But I pick the game this time."

Fai smiled broadly gesturing by throwing his arms away from his body, "What ever you say Kuro-chu."

Kurogane looked around for a certain machine he remembered being quite good at due to his athletic nature. "That one," he said pointing to a steel platform in front of which was a screen where demonstration arrows were traveling up the screen.

Fai didn't say anything, not having a chance to as Kurogane promptly walked towards the arcade game. Kurogane took the right side of the platform feeding the machine a dollar for both his and Fai's game. Said man joined the taller on the left side waiting for the familiar start up of the machine.

"You choose the song," Kurogane instructed Fai.

Fai tentatively stepped on the forward arrow stopping on each song choice to get a feel for the beat. Finally one song caught Fai's attention. It was fast and up beat. "Ooo! Let's play this one Kuro-chi," Fai said excitedly and selected the song.

Kurogane scoffed, "Of course you would pick the hardest goddamn song, moron." Kurogane threw his jacket off, preparing to sweat just a bit, before bracing himself on the red bar behind him. Fai on the other hand stood lazily in the center of his side waiting for the song to begin.

The screen brought up the dance screen and the song began. Both men began to move rapidly. The larger man was more concentrated on his screen, intense and focused as he hit nearly each arrow command perfectly. He was obviously a veteran and to his surprise as was Fai. The smaller of the two was moving more freely yet still keeping pace with his challenger. This went on for minutes and in the end both men were panting, waiting for the results.

"Looks like you won Kuro-fast," Fai said looking at the screen and seeing he had lost by two percent.

Kurogane let out a short laugh, "Damn straight." There was a short pause as they both caught their breath. The taller stood up straight putting his jacket back on, "All right, tell me about Ashura." He looked to Fai and the blonde's face feel. "Only tell me what you can, don't force anything."

Fai looked at the ground. "You said you spent a lot of time here when you were young, yes Kuro-sama?"

The larger man raised an eyebrow, "Yeah."

"Well where did you go to be alone," Fai asked looking up to Kurogane.

The taller man understood what the blonde wanted, "Follow me blondie." Both men went out the exit that lead to the boardwalk, the carnival like setting illuminated the sun kissed sky as they walked side by side. They got to the far end of the boardwalk both not saying anything as one was trying to think of what to say and the other was preparing himself for what the blonde would say. Suddenly Kurogane took a short flight of stairs onto the beach and crouched on one side of it where a door the same size and shape of the stairs was padlocked shut.

"Are we going in there, Kuro-myu," Fai asked looking around a bit paranoid that they would get caught.

Kurogane reached behind a plank of wood supporting the underbelly the boardwalk and extracted a small tin box which he opened and pulled out a thin metal rod and began picking the lock. "Yep, you wanted to know where I went to be alone. Looks like you might get your question answered after all bastard." It was with this that the lock popped open. Kurogane pocketed the lock and pulled the door slightly ajar taking the lead before ushering the blonde inside. Once both of them were in Kurogane closed the door and padlocked it from the inside. "Watch your step, there's lotsa shit to trip on." Eventually the small narrow pathway opened up to a larger room in which was a bunch of abandoned carnival equipment, signs, ride carts, and other things from the boardwalk's past.

Fai looked around in amazement when Kurogane used a leaver to turn on the lights which were various strings of Christmas lights. "What is this place Kuro-chu," he asked running his hand over the side of an apple cart.

"An old storage room," Kurogane replied making his way to the far end of the room where there was and old boxy stereo system with a six CD turner. "There's more down the boardwalk but this one is the oldest, so less people check up on it." Kurogane rifled through a small stack of CDs and put on a slightly heavier album.

Fai paused his exploration through the room to listen to the music. "How did you find it," he asked returning to his childish wonderment.

"My question first idiot," Kurogane said folding his arms about his broad chest. Fai looked back over his shoulder a solemn smile playing on his lips.

He looked away from the larger man, he might not be ready to tell Kurogane everything but he had to start somewhere. He was ready to start somewhere. "After I left home I stayed with a friend of mine...She happened to also be friends with Ashura." Fai paused as he felt his words coming out on shaky breaths. "He was so nice to me... Told me I... was worth the world, and more. He made me feel... special... Me special," Fai laughed darkly. "We started going out...and since he was older and had his own place I eventually moved in with him. At first everything was great. We were happy. Then one day it all changed. He..." Fai sniffed willing away the tears. "He started...beating." He threw his face into his hands and chocked the last of what he could stomach to relive, "Beating me."

Fai suddenly felt large strong arms slink around his waist. Kurogane rested his chin against the top of the smaller man's head. As Fai cried the taller held him feeling like an ass for asking him to talk about it. Though his words had been few and not detailed it was in the blonde's voice that Kurogane found the sadness within his past. It was in his voice that the larger man found his hatred and disdain for the man that had hurt what was now his to protect.

Kurogane pulled Fai over to an empty spot against the wall and sat down bringing Fai with him. "I'll fucking kill that bastard if he ever comes near you again." He pulled the blonde closer.

Fai looked at the ground, "It's not your job to worry about me Kuro-silly"

Kurogane grabbed the bartender by the shoulders and boar his red eyes into the cloudy blue ones. "It is my job, idiot! I don't know what you are to me but titles shouldn't fucking matter. What does matter is that you are mine to worry about." He searched the blue eyes for comprehension. He released the blonde and rested the man's head against his chest.

Fai's heart was weightless, floating around in his chest at the larger man's words. Fai's knees were pulled up to his chest and his head was resting against Kurogane as he listened to the larger man's heart beat. "Thank you," was all Fai said in response to the man's kind words. He looked up at the larger man's face, "Kuro-chi, can we hold hands now?"

The larger man growled and rolled his head against the wall before snapping it back towards the blonde. "You aren't going to let this go are you?"

Fai pouted, "Is Kuro-mean saying he doesn't want to hold my hand?" Said man scowled but let the blonde grab the hand not draped over his angular shoulders. Fai began playing with Kurogane's calloused hands. Gently running his fingers over the rough ones, pressing their hands together, applying and removing pressure to move the fingers back and forth. "So, how did you find this place Kuro-sneaky?"

The darker man sighed before answering. "I was fifteen, fourteen maybe, and I had a friend named Ainsley. We were pretty close and most of the time we came down here with friends to just fuck around. You know, smoke and drink. Regular teenage rebellion. Ains' brother showed him this place and he showed the rest of us."

Fai interlaced their fingers, "That doesn't explain why you would want to hide Kuro-mysterious."

"That's not what you asked me to explain, idiot." Kurogane laughed a little but obliged. "I didn't want people to see me and Ains together. He was the first guy I ever kissed, it happened to happen down here. Anyway we came here to hang out with each other, we never talked about what we did we just did what we wanted. It was the one place I could be myself. I guess I was hiding from one side of myself more than anything else."

Fai laughed, "You didn't want to tell me about your first boyfriend."

Kurogane scowled, "Shut the fuck up, he wasn't my boyfriend!" Fai smiled calmly at him and kissed the taller man's hand softly.

"It makes me happy that you were happy at one point before you married Yuuko." Fai said looking away shyly.

Kurogane tilted the man's head so the delicious blue eyes would meet the menacing red ones. "Don't look away from me, moron. There's no reason to."

Fai looked at Kurogane seriously and putting his heart on the line he simply said, "I really like you."

The taller man looked back at him, "I guess I like you too, blondie" He closed the gap between himself an the blonde bringing their lips together tenderly pulling away a bit before bringing their lips back together. He pulled away reluctantly, "Hey, our dates not over yet. Let's go ride some rides."

Fai smiled up at the taller man, "I thought this wasn't a date, Kuro-liar." Kurogane stood offering his hand to help Fai to his feet.

"It's not a date! Now do you wanna go ride some rides or what," Kurogane asked blushing realizing that he had called this a date.

"Let's go," Fai screeched skipping off towards the exit. Kurogane rolled his eyes but still followed the spastic blonde. Once Kurogane got to the exit he began picking the lock. "Can we ride the teacup?"

Absentmindedly Kurogane replied,"Sure."

"Can we go in the haunted house?"

"Hn."

"Can we eat eat carnival food, ride the roller coaster, and the ferris wheel and the skyline?"

The lock popped open and Kurogane growled, "We can do whatever the fuck you want, okay?" He pushed the door open slightly to check for people before emerging onto the beach and pulling Fai behind him. "C' mon, let's go get wrist bands." Fai began skipping like a child causing the taller man to raise an eyebrow in curiosity. "Why are you so excited," he asked the blonde, his hands shoved into his pockets.

"It's been a really long time since I've been to an amusement park, or anything like this," Fai explained reaching the boardwalk with Kurogane beside him.

The darker scoffed as they entered the thickening crowd heading towards the ticketing counter, "It's just an amusement park."

Fai laughed lightly, "When I was little me and my brother would go to the local water and ride park nearly everyday during the season. Our mom and dad worked and we lived on the opposite side of the city. We would take three buses and biked 10 miles just to go to the park for the day."

Kurogane looked skeptically at the blonde, "That must have been expensive after a while."

"Mom and dad were both really successful, when I say we lived on the other side of town I mean we lived in a prestigious gated community with private schools and no public transportation for 10 miles." Fai paused for a moment thinking over his words, "I really hated that place, everything was so fake," he said disgusted at the memories.

Kurogane smirked imagining Fai having to behave. "You use to be part of a prestigious community?" Kurogane was still silently laughing at the image.

"Not by choice, Yuui always fit into the role better than I did. There were just to many rules with no room to be myself." Fai suddenly laughed, "I think me and Yuui were the only kids with bikes, everyone else had their nanny drive them places."

Kurogane thought a moment, "So in other words you were going to your amusement park to be yourself."

Fai turned and smiled warmly, "Yeah I guess you're right. Me and you were running to the same kind of place for the same reason, Kuro-puu." Fai smiled contently to himself as he recalled his summers spent with his brother when they approached the ticket counter behind which a pretty girl took Kurogane's money undeniably batting her eyelashes and using a flirtatious tone through the exchange. Fai felt his cheeks burn as she put the plastic bracelet on the larger man and quickly trail her fingers not so discreetly over the top of the mans hand. She then rather unceremoniously put Fai's bracelet on him.

Kurogane mumbled a thanks to the girl who audibly sighed as the two men walked away. He looked out the side of his eye to see Fai glare at the ground as Kurogane walked towards the closest ride which happened to be the slingshot, a tall tower around which the seats faced out and the seats shot into the air and then dropped back down. "What's your problem blondie, you were smiling like an idiot two minutes ago," He said crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the railing seeing they would have to wait at least two more loads before it would be their turn.

"Do women always treat you like that," he ventured expecting to be laughed at. To his surprise Kurogane just looked at him not understanding. "Like, do they always flirt with you?"

The larger man snorted harshly, "Yeah I guess, it's not like they're going to get anywhere so I don't pay attention. There's no need to get jealous, moron."

"Hey I'm not jealous... I just would rather they not. There's a difference." He pouted slightly.

Kurogane rolled his eyes, "Not really a difference at all." He looked behind him, "Blondie look," he commanded. "You see that guy?" He motioned to a particular guy giving himself whiplash trying to continue looking at the blonde.

"Yeah," he looked back to the taller man who looked back into the crowd.

"Okay, good, now you see that girl," Kurogane pointed across the crowd. Fai obediently looked and locked eyes with a young brunette who blushed and looked away. Fai looked at her curiously though she wasn't returning his gaze any longer. "See you get checked out by both sexes, I think I have more of a right to glare at the ground like a five year old."

Fai looked back also blushing at the realization that he was so unaware of the people interested in him, it made him a bit uncomfortable and he instinctively scooted closer to Kurogane. "Kuro-brutal is to manly to stare at the ground."

The two scooted up in line as it was now their turn to board the ride. "Damn straight, any fucker ever acts on anything I will knock their fucking teeth out." The attendant of the ride looked frightened as she overheard the last of what Kurogane was saying while checking the restraints.

Suddenly a bored half high sounding teenager came on the loud speaker, "Welcome to The Rocket enjoy your ride." It was then that the circle of seats took off, shrill scream of girls and Fai could be heard as well as whoops from the males minus Kurogane who clenched his teeth together. The ride stopped at the top of the tower giving the riders a bird-eye view of the beach and boardwalk. Once the passengers were fully aware of the beauty surrounding them it was then that the ride dropped again sending the passengers screaming before coming to a safe halt.

"That was great Kuro-chi! I haven't been on a ride in years," Fai smiled broadly and Kurogane looked at him suddenly content with himself for being able to make Fai smile like his life hadn't been full of tragedy.

The day wore on, the sun had finally set in the distance and the boardwalk was lit up with strings of carnival light. The longer they stayed together the two men found themselves falling into deeper conversations about lost dream, hopes for the future, memories, and trivial nothings that are honestly the bulk of everyday conversations. It was all too normal, like everything had been leading them to this, a boardwalk and amusement park rides.

Fai smiled up at the taller man as they approached the front of the line for overpriced food. The lights danced on his pale skin illuminating it in reds, yellows, blues, and greens flashing in rapid time, "I cannot believe you've never had carnival food Kuro-cheap!"

Kurogane ran his hand over his face for the umpteenth time that evening, the last time being when Fai had made him ride the roller coaster for the fifth time in a row. "I told you, you idiot, I never felt the need to spend seven dollars on a fuckin' hotdog. For the money I'm about to spend here I could take you to a restaurant. Tch."

Fai smiled having gotten to the counter, "I would like a funnel cake and chocolate shake for myself and," Fai paused looking behind him at Kurogane, "and chili cheese fries and a beer for my friend." He handed over a few bills to cover the cost and moved over to the side to wait for the food.

Kurogane leaned against the cart crossing his arms, "I would have payed, and I can order for myself."

"I know, Kuro-pii, but you've payed for everything else tonight, and if you had ordered you would have gotten the cheapest thing and missed out on the greasy goodness," Fai said as the food came up in the pick-up window. Fai took his food and sat at a wooden table that hadn't been thoroughly cleaned in ages, he loved it.

They sat at the table Fai savoring the taste of his funnel cake and his shake. Kurogane on the other hand grimaced when his taste buds met the lukewarm beer. "I can't believe you spent money on this shit, blondie," he said popping a drenched chili cheese fry into his mouth to try to cover the taste of his beer. His face went into a deep scowl, "This is horrible."

Fai laughed exuberantly, "Then why do you keep eating it," he asked as the larger man continued eating his over priced meal.

The man growled, "I'm not going to let you waste your money." He paused deciding to utilize the fork that had come with his meal, "And it's so horrible it's good. Kinda like you."

Fai smiled sheepishly before saying, "Waaah! Kuro-meanie doesn't like me!" Kurogane rolled his eyes and continued to eat letting the blonde make a scene knowing that he would eventually calm down and by reacting like he so wanted to would only add fuel to the fire.

Regardless he couldn't let the idiot say things like that, "You know that's not true, moron," he mumbled out shoving food into his mouth wondering how the blonde had gotten him to eat this crap.

"What was that Kuro-shy," Fai asked teasingly. "Could it possibly be that you like me?" He cupped his hand over his ear and leaned over the table towards the red-eyed man.

Kurogane looked away from the blonde, "Tch, in your dreams, blondie."

Fai sat back down and smiled satisfied, "That's Kuro-talk for, yes." Kurogane scoffed making a rough throaty sound in reply. Fai sucked the last of his extremely chocolatey shake and stood, nature was calling him.

Kurogane took notice, "Hey, where you going?"

"Aww, is Kuro-woof concerned about me leaving him," Fai teased stretching his arm up causing his stomach to become exposed.

The taller of the two looked away in irritation, "Whatever, see if I care." Fai smiled and reached across the table ruffling the man's spikes causing Kurogane to growl while barring his teeth.

He turned, throwing over his shoulder, "I'm going to the bathroom Kuro-nosey" He sauntered away towards a hallway meant to look like a cave with plastic rock drilled around the entrance. The hallway was relatively empty save the children running from the bathroom back to the park. Fai side stepped them and smiled at the childhood innocence. It was once the cave was empty that he felt a presence. He turned assuming he would see the man he came with coming to make sure he hadn't done anything stupid. Instead he found the guy that Kurogane had pointed out earlier walking towards him, though there was no reason to suspect that the man was after anything other than the bathroom door as well.

Fai turned brushing the man off only to turn when the man called after him, "Hey there." He seemed nonthreatening enough and Fai not one to be rude answered.

"Hi," he replied smiling. "Can I help you?"

The man stepped closer, "Why don't you come hang out with me and my friends, I bet I could show you a real good time."

There was a time not to long ago where Fai would have accepted the offer and followed the man off to god knows where to do god knows what but he found himself feeling uncomfortable. The other man must have noticed as he backed Fai into wall placing one hand on the wall by Fai's head and strung the thumb of his other hand through his belt loop. Fai pressed himself firmly against the wall. "C' mon," he said running his hand over Fai's cheek, "ditch that prick and come mess around with a real man, baby."

"Kurogane, is not a prick. He's nothing like you," Fai said in a whimper while also trying to push the man away. It wasn't that the man was significantly bigger than Fai he was just stronger and he proved by pinning Fai's wrist against the wall. His grip was tight and Fai felt his skin begin to bruise, this was all to familiar to nights Fai's abusive ex would come home beat Fai and then apologize with sex. He closed his eyes and prayed it would be over soon.

The man began to plant sloppy most likely drunk kisses on Fai's face and his hand not pinning Fai's wrist found it's way to the waistband of Fai's pants and roughly grabbed at his skin.

Suddenly the man fell away after Fai heard the connection of fist to flesh Fai opened his eyes to see Kurogane connect his fist to the mans face successfully knocking him out and simultaneously drawing blood from the assailant lips. Kurogane screamed drawing his hand back for another blow, "You bastard!" The sound of Fai whimpering into a cry brought him out of his rage to focus on the reason he had become so protective. Fai slumped on to the ground covering his face with his hands.

Kurogane knelt down so his face was level with Fai. He pulled the trembling hands away from Fai's face and tilted the smaller man's angular face to his. "I'm taking you home blondie," Kurogane said simply pulling his hood over his head and helping Fai to his feet. The blonde leaned into the larger man's broad protective chest and uncaring of who might be watching Kurogane pulled the blonde closer. He snaked his hand downward to Fai's hand. Fai flinched but Kurogane did not relinquish his hold on the blonde's pale hand knowing that regardless of how shaken the smaller was this is what he wanted at that moment. Kurogane interlaced their fingers and gently tugged the blonde out of the hallway and into the blinding lights that would hide them in the open.

Fai was walking in a daze out of the park he was though acutely aware of the warm hand intertwined with his. The warm person pulled him closer as soon as they were on a quite street. He didn't hold is against him that he was hiding his face from the crowds; in fact he was more than aware that it was a nearly necessary thing with the relationship they found themselves in. He was also thankful that Kurogane had saved him not only from himself at times but from the outside world wanting to hurt him; the man pulled Fai closer causing him to snap back to reality. The cool sea breeze was rushing over his flushed face and tousled his blonde hair gently around his shoulder's. Kurogane hadn't spoken and Fai knew the man was cursing himself for not killing the stranger from the cave.

Fai looked up at the taller tentatively, "Thank you Kuro-chu." He kissed the taller man's clothed bicep.

Kurogane grunted, "Thank me for what? For not realizing the guy had followed you sooner? For not going with you? For letting you get hurt?" Fai stared forward as they walked the back alleys towards the Cat's Eye no doubt Kurogane's unspoken want to be with the blonde longer. "I should have fucking killed that guy, blondie."

Fai wrapped his arms around Kurogane's bicep. "Don't do that to yourself Kuro-myu, you saved me. The important thing is that you stopped it from becoming worse."

Kurogane became angry at the man who had touched what was his, he was able to contain it though holding on to the fact the blonde was okay and needed him to be in control. "He bruised you." He paused for a moment anger growing, "The fucker bruised you Fai."

Fai thought a moment knowing brushing it off as nothing would only anger the taller. "It could have been worse," he said burying his head into the warm arm while they rounded the corner to the Cat's Eye. Fai knowing there would be a crowd let go of the taller man's arm and spaced himself from the larger man, they were just friends walking.

Inside the Cat's Eye was lively with the holiday rush. So lively that both men went hardly noticed as they silently went up to Fai's apartment. Once inside Fai turned on the light and Kurogane removed his jacket. "Let me see," Kurogane said following the blonde into the kitchen area.

Fai grabbed his wrist instinctively, "See what Kuro-manly?"

Kurogane growled, "Tch. You know damn well what, moron." Fai didn't remove his hand from his wrist being use to hiding such bruises. Kurogane became irritated and assertively grabbed Fai's forearm bringing the forming bruise to light. Fai looked at Kurogane mortified. The taller gently ran his thumb over the blue black skin that was shaped as fingers. "Flex your wrist" Kurogane commanded. Fai did as told, "Does it hurt blondie?"

Fai relaxed in the hold, "Not to badly Kuro-softy." Kurogane growled but brought Fai's wrist to his lips kissing the tender flesh.

"I'm sorry blondie, I should have been there sooner. Don't tell me otherwise." He gently gave Fai back his wrist which the blonde cradled against his chest "Did he bruise you else where, blondie," Kurogane asked straightening his back.

Fai shook his head quickly, "No, I'm okay Kuro-chi."

Kurogane looked sternly at the blonde. "Don't lie to me," he said crossing his arms.

Fai looked away from the taller, "My hip hurts."

"Fuck," Kurogane seethed punching a pillar in Fai's apartment. "Show me."

Fai knew resistance was futile and pulled away the fabric covering his angular hip. Kurogane stepped forward placing his hands gently on Fai's hips massaging the bruised section carefully with his thumb. Fai let his head collapse against Kurogane's chest. "Why didn't you scream blondie," Kurogane mumbled into the blonde hair.

Fai began to shake his head recalling how useless it was to scream with Ashura, old habits died hard and when he had found himself in a similar situation all the old instincts came back. He brought his hands to the front of Kurogane's shirt and clutched the fabric as his began to silently cry willing the sudden panic and flood of memories away. "Be-because I couldn't." He began to shake in Kurogane's arms, in response the taller man lifted the shaking man and gently put him down on his bed. He went to sit on the floor by the side of the bed but Fai's hand wouldn't release the red fabric. Kurogane looked into the teary blue eyes silently pleading for the man to be next to him, not by him. Fai gently pulled the larger man over him so that he was laying next to him on the left side of the bed.

Fai squirmed closer so he was buried in Kurogane's chest and he started crying all over again. Kurogane wrapped his arms around the small of the blonde's back. He didn't expect to get his answer so he was surprised when Fai began to speak. "I wanted to scream, Kuro, but when I was with... Ashura... it was only worse when I screamed. It felt like that all over again. It was to familiar."

Kurogane brought his hand to Fai's face and wiped away the tear streaming from his blue eyes. Kurogane had always been a man of little words anything he said at this point would be anger directed at anybody who had hurt the blonde so instead he expressed everything by bringing the blonde flush against his body and kissing the top of Fai's head and rubbing his cheek against the blonde locks. Fai began to drift off to sleep Kurogane sensing this began to get up causing the blonde to open his eyes, "Kuro-warm, are you leaving?"

Kurogane reached the door frame and switched off the light darkening the room, "Hn, no." He kicked off his shoes and crawled back into the foreign bed and resuming their previous position. Fai watched the taller man close his eyes before stretching his neck to meet Kurogane's unsuspecting lips.

Kurogane cracked his eye looking at the blonde. Fai smiled contently, "I'm happy you're here, Kuro-myu. Despite everything you make me happy."

Kurogane closed his eyes and smirked and brought the blonde closer if it was possible, "Good." Both men began to drift off to sleep revealing in the warmth and comfort of the other. Something about this moment was perfect regardless of the night. For once in a very long time for both men something was changing for the better.

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><p>I am well aware that I was promising an M rating and I really did try to make it happen, it was just fucking up my plot. Overall I'm really happy with the GENERAL outcome because I got the level of relationship development between Kuro and Fai I wanted. I still have the lemony scene backed up and will not be using it in the actual story but if enough of you guys want it I'll post it as a bonus chapter to hold you guys off because the next update might run even later due to the fact I have no plot goal for it. So if you want it say so and if I do post please remember it will have absolutely no relation to the story other than a cut scene.<p>

I kinda got lazy and slacked the editing, PM me if you find any gross errors.

Anyway I think I might start dabbling with another fanfic idea for a cross over or a tradgedy for Tsubasa. Just letting you guys know. :)

Anyway, I love you beautiful people, so click the blue button below.


	8. Bright and Fading

Alright; let's get dramatic. I'm going to break the news now, I cannot write a sex scene. Therefore this will not become an M rating unless I decide to do something equally as naughty later.

Also I really appreciate the people that review critically; so thanks alot. :)

With out further to say :I don't own.

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><p>The sun was warm on Kurogane's bareback, at some point during the night he had become shirtless and Fai, before sleep had fully overtaken his body, had changed into blue and green cotton sleep shorts and and loose white tank top. He made an irritated grunting noise as he began to become more conscious and sleep slowly left him causing him to open his eyes. Fai was still asleep with his face buried in Kurogane's bare chest, his lips were slightly ajar and his hands were balled up and resting between him and the taller man. Kurogane stared at the blonde smirking at how peaceful he looked in his unaware state. Something possessed the larger man to begin stroking the soft blonde hair, diving his hand deep through the locks causing his fingers to become tangled.<p>

Fai began to stir, he thought to himself in his semi-delirious state _What's in my hair_? He made a muffled stretching noise in the back of his throat while rolling his shoulder to stop the waking force coaxing through his hair. The feeling stopped but consciousness was already tugging him from his lovely dream state causing his eyes to flutter open and shut for a brief moment before he focused on the tan chest. He closed his eyes and snuggled closer to Kurogane making an, "mmm," sound muffled by both his closed lips and Kurogane's toned chest. Eyes still closed he asked in a light teasing manner, "Were you playing with my hair, Kuro?"

Kurogane wrapped his arms tighter around Fai's back. "Tch. Why would I do that gay ass shit?"

Fai shifted in his position, "Because you like me Kuro-kun," he said simply. He opened his eyes and looked up at the red orbs that seem to have been focused on his face beforehand, he smiled broadly at the face close to his.

"What the fuck are you smiling at blondie," Kurogane said squinting his eyes and the smiling pale face.

"It's nothing Kuro-pi," Fai said dropping his head back to it's previous position still smiling.

Kurogane adjusted himself and he pushed the blonde away from himself slightly so he could see his face. "Don't give me that shit, idiot. Tell me. Now."

Fai sighed, "You're so stubborn Kuro-chu." He looked away shyly and said under his breath in a quite voice, "I'm happy because your still here, like in the morning. You didn't leave me."

Kurogane took Fai's chin between his thumb and forefinger forcing the blonde to look at him. His red eyes stared intently into Fai's sapphire pools, "Don't think like that, blondie. It's irritating." He pulled the small frame back to him. "I have to go home," Kurogane mumbled after a moment in an irritated fashion.

Hearing this Fai quickly moved his arms from between them and wrapped them tightly around Kurogane's middle, pressing his face flush to the chest next to him. "I know you do, that doesn't mean I have to like it Kuro-chi." He relinquished his hold and Kurogane made a move to sit up stopping once his torso was vertical to rub his head.

Fai stretched making his body long and arching his back into a cat like curve. He rolled out of his side of the bed an walked to the kitchen leaving Kurogane sitting on the bed. He yawned and flipped on the coffee maker, immediately a gurgling sound filled the room and soon the strong awakening aroma that comes with coffee filled the small apartment. Fai leaned over the counter top, placing his elbows on the flat surface and resting his head in his hands.

Unknown to the still groggy blonde red eyes were tracing his long pale legs. Kurogane couldn't help but fall into a trance watching the blonde, something about the vulnerability Fai was in, in his sleepy state captivated the taller man. Something, almost instinctual, propelled the man out of bed and over to the blonde. He came up behind Fai and looped his hands around the unsuspecting slender hips. Fai jumped at the touch before turning in the embrace to face the taller man looming over him. "Is there a problem Kuro-flirt," Fai asked smiling a lazy-due-to-being-tired smile.

Kurogane growled barring his teeth at the smaller man. "There wasn't until you talked, idiot."

Fai braced himself by setting his hands on Kurogane's biceps so that he could settle his body weight on the clasped hands behind him. "You get mad at me for calling you a flirt yet your the one with no shirt on Kuro-silly," Fai said walking his fingers up the tone bicep to rest on Kurogane's collar bone.

The darker man narrowed his eyes, "Tch. Look who's fuckin' talking blondie."

Fai looked down at what he was wearing to hide the blush radiating from his cheeks. Suddenly feeling self-conscious Fai rubbed his ankles together. "I don't know what your talking about Kuro-kun. I have a shirt on."

"Hn. I think you're showing more skin," Kurogane retaliated in a half snort half smirk. The coffee maker beeped in the background, both men stared at the sudden interruption. Fai made a move to grab the pot causing Kurogane to pull away deciding to look for his discarded shirt.

Fai sighed internally, cursing the coffee maker for beeping as he poured himself a cup adding cream and sugar. He sipped the liquid, cautiously allowing the hot fluid to warm his stomach. He was unaware of Kurogane's irritation until a sudden growl met his ears. He turned to see the darker man on the floor looking under the bed, presumably for his shirt, only to find that the bed's frame sat level with the floor thus his shirt couldn't have found it's way under the bed. Fai giggled at the taller man's frustration, leisurely walking over to his side of the bed where Kurogane had tossed his shirt the previous night. "Looking for something Kuro-myu," Fai asked setting his mug down, bent picking the shirt up, and bundling the shirt behind his back.

Kurogane looked around himself trying to find a place where he might not have looked previous. "I'm looking for my damn shirt," Kurogane replied with half interest moving the pillow he had used for the night.

"Like this one," Fai said holding the red garment in front of himself. He smiled broadly, the coffee was doing it's job.

The taller man squinted, "Well if you had it you could have given it to me," he stated, suspicion evident in his voice as he began to round the end of the bed to take the shirt from the thin man.

Fai giggled to himself, as the man approached he began to back away towards the small alcove living room. A mischievous smile spread across his face.

Kurogane approached Fai slowly a stoic expression on his face because he knew what was about to happen. "Moron, give me my shirt," Kurogane said flatly as Fai began to back into a corner. Seeing Fai was in a vulnerable position with limited room to escape Kurogane made his move quicly advancing on the blonde, unfortunately Fai was just as quick and ducked away from the taller man.

"You gotta catch me first, Kuro-slow," Fai said darting to the kitchen. Kurogane looked at the blonde irritated that the smaller man had managed to get away from him.

The larger man grunted through his teeth, "Just give me back my shirt or I'm going to kick your ass!" He lunged at Fai who darted out of the kitchen to the bed which he promptly ran over. Fai was laughing freely as the taller man chased him through the apartment screaming profanities.

After about the seventh time around the larger portion of the apartment Fai ran into the living room. Fai seeing he was about to truly be trapped he stopped, nearly running into the worn red couch. He turned around just in time to see Kurogane's face as he ran into the blonde propelling both men onto the couch, effectively ending the chase.

Both lay slightly panting, Kurogane was the first to speak, "Give me the shirt blondie," he said through his panting.

Fai looked up at the man on top of him, "What are you going to give me Kuro-tan?" Fai smiled suggestively as Kurogane scowled.

"Why should I give you anything? It's my damn shirt moron," he seethed clutching his hands into fists.

"Wah! Kuro-meanie doesn't like me," Fai whined while squirming as if he was having a fit. Fake tears began to well in his blue eyes causing the taller man to roll his head in irritation.

The noise coming out of Fai's mouth was becoming extremly annoying to Kurogane. He knew the blonde was just trying to stall time inorder to make him stay slightly longer. In all honesty he could have taken the shirt from the blonde but he also wanted to stay as long as possible. He sighed in slight irritation before giving the smaller man a kiss that could only be described as sweet. He pulled away from the pale lips that had managed to make his stomach drop. "Blondie, I have to go. I'll try to come back later tonight."

Fai pushed the shirt into Kurogane's chest, "Okay Kuro-daddy, I'll miss you."

The taller man pushed himself off the couch, "Tch, whatever." He pulled the shirt on over himself sighing when he saw that it had become stretched.

Fai smiled to himself knowing the other man would miss him as well even though he refused to admit it. "That's Kuro-talk for 'I'll miss you to'," Fai said to himself loud enough for the other to hear.

"I told you before what I say is what I mean," Kurogane replied while offering his hand to help Fai up.

Fai accepted the hand that brought him to his feet, walking over to grab Kurogane's hoodie for him while the other walked over to the night stand grabbing his phone. He watched the taller raise a questioning eyebrow at his phone, "Something wrong Kuro-chi?"

Kurogane walked over to Fai who was standing by the door taking his jacket from the blonde. "Nothing, I'm just surprised Yuuko hasn't called."

Fai stepped closer to the taller crossing his arms, "Did you want her to Kuro-san?"

Kurogane took the close proximity as a cue to encircle the blonde in his arms, "No you idiot, I'm just surprised, she's usually nosy." They stood there a moment in a longing silence and for once Kurogane was the first to speak, "I have to go, I have a kid to go hang out with." He ran his hand to the bruised portion on the alabaster skin and brought it to his lips, apologizing again for failing to be a protector. The one thing he had always been sure he was and the role he could openly filled he had failed at, at least in his own mind.

Fai smiled at the action and pressed his lips to Kurogane's for a chaste kiss. "Okay," Fai said pulling away from the warm embrace. "Bye Kuro-myu." Fai said opening the door for the taller man. He leaned against the door frame as Kurogane made his way down the stairs. Once he heard the familiar sound of the bell from the main entrance reached his ears he turned back to his apartment, closing the door softly behind him.

He gently padded his way over to his inviting bed and crawled in to it. Something about the bed though was different, he was on his usual side of the bed, resting his head on his usual pillow. The apartment was suddenly lonely, and not in the way it usual was.

Fai was surprisingly ready to be up. He didn't want to stay still, sleep, eat, he just wanted to go. He threw his sleep clothes off replacing them with casual wear. He ran down the stairs, out the door. He wasn't sure where he was going but he was gone. He was riding on a natural, unforced high of happiness.

~o~

Kurogane entered his house, the door was still locked considering it was still rather early. The house was silent and seemingly empty. It wasn't until he reached the top of the stairs and approached his bedroom that he heard Yuuko. She sounded distressed and he picked up his pace expecting to find her in bed instead he found the bed empty. For a moment he thought that he had imagined the sound before he heard Yuuko again; this time he could hear her hacking noises coming from the bathroom.

Kurogane opened the door to find Yuuko supporting herself on the outer rim of the toilet sleepily before another wave of nausea took over causing her face to contort before expelling what was left of her stomach contents into the porcelain bowl.

"Shit," Kurogane yelled grabbing a face cloth from the linen closet inside the bathroom and running it under the faucet. Yuuko backed off the toilet and to the opposite wall of the master bathroom so she had something to lean against. Kurogane crouched next to a paler than usual Yuuko, "Here,:" he said flatly extending his arm to give her the moist fabric.

Yuuko took it silently wiping down her face before Kurogane lifted her and carried her to the their bed. "Kurogane, I think I'm dying," Yuuko said dramatically laying her arm over her head as if she had fainted.

"One can only hope," Kurogane replied in an irritated mutter. "If you were sick last night you should have called. We don't need a sick kid."

Yuuko suddenly feeling better flipped herself onto her stomach and cradled her head in her hands, swinging her feet like a child. "I didn't feel sick last night. That reminds me why didn't you come home," Yuuko questioned with a smile one could only describe as mischievous.

Kurogane who had since moved to the bathroom to shower cringed at the question, yes he had been expecting it but Yuuko never asked questions unless she knew the answer. "I got drunk and slept at the dojo."

Yuuko flopped playfully on her back, "Is that so? Well you don't smell like a drunk, in fact you smell almost like fruity body spray."

Kurogane sniffed his shirt, shit he did smell like Fai, not that he minded it he just hadn't been aware of it prior. "I do not," he shouted back as he started the shower.

Yuuko cackled loudly, "I thought you could handle your liquor!"

Kurogane stepped into the shower but not before shouting back, "Shut it you hag!"

Yuuko lay on her bed smiling to herself, finally something was changing in this house.

~o~

The noise, what was that noise driving Tomoyo further and further from sleep. It was an incessant banging. Almost like a door, wait somebody was at the door! Tomoyo realizing what the noise was got up slipping on her fuzzy purple slippers made her way to the door which she had only unlocked before Fai welcomed himself into her home.

Tomoyo fell backwards on to the cushy carpet, not expecting her blonde friend to burst through the door and shove a brown paper bag in her face. "Good morning Tomo-chan! I bought 5 different kinds of bagels and 3 different kinds of cream cheese! I figure we can try each kind with each bagel and decide what's best!" He bent down so his face was close to Tomoyo's, it was then he seemed to register the position she was in, "Tomo-chan, why are you on the floor?"

Tomoyo smiled sweetly at the obviously happy man holding out her hand so Fai would help her up which he did. "It's nothing Fai-chan. Why are you up so early," Tomoyo questioned considering she was usually rousing him from sleep forty-five minutes before opening at six.

Fai walked into the small but humble kitchen to the right setting the bag of bagels and spread on the round wooded table. "I don't know Tomo-chan, I'm just to happy to sleep. The sun is shining and why would I waste a feeling like this sleeping?" Tomoyo smiled at her friend noting the certain glow he was radiating as he busied himself setting the bagels out on the table. Suddenly he perked up again, "Tomo-chan, did you know there's this thing called a farmer's market every Sunday morning? I bought a bunch of fruit and vegetables."

Tomoyo took a seat after having retrieved plates and butter knives, she smiled sweetly at her friend sensing that his happiness was steaming from the night before. "How did your night with Kurogane-san go?"

Fai stopped and took a seat to the right of his friend as the smile on his face became one of longing and content. "It was wonderful Tomo-chan. We went to the arcade and then we rode rides on the boardwalk." He ran his hand over the blue and purple bruise hidden under his sweater remembering Kurogane's protective and caring reactions. "He's amazing," he said trailing off and staring out into space. Tomoyo chuckled at Fai's whimsical expression, bringing him back to the present. Fai laughed quietly at himself, "I'm sorry Tomo-chan, we should eat." Fai reached across the table for a knife causing the sleeve of his sweater to ride up reveling his bruise.

Tomoyo stared unmoved at the bruise, something almost sickening being use to seeing her friends pale skin made dark. She gently took it in her hand guiding it towards herself. "Who did this Fai-chan?"

Fai seemed suddenly flustered finding it hard to talk about regardless of Kurogane's actions. He let a moment pass between them, "It wasn't Kuro-sweet."

Tomoyo smiled as if she already knew this, "Of course not, he cares to much about you, I can only imagine about how the person who did this to you is faring currently once Kurogane-san found this." She relinquished Fai's hand and he started to spread the various cream cheeses on a bagel.

They sat in a comfortable silence both happy just for the others company. "Tomo-chan," Fai suddenly spoke, "do you really think he cares about me?" Even though Kurogane had admitted in his own way the previous night that he did care for the bartender Fai found it hard to believe that somebody could care for him despite how much he trusted the man.

Tomoyo sighed and smiled lovingly at her friend, "Fai-chan, I sense something between you two that you need to be as confident in as I am." Fai stared blankly at her not having expected that response. Tomoyo laughed airily. "Just remember every great romance is not with out it's sadness."

Fai smiled at his friend lulling over her words, _a great romance._

~o~

Yuuko had fallen asleep shortly after she had fed Mori lunch leaving the two men of her life to their own devices. At some point Kurogane had decided to take his son out for the day doing various things. Currently they were leaving the movie theater, Mori was stationed on his father's shoulder's clasping both Mokona and Madoki's ears in his hand as he hugged his father's head as a means for support. Mori looked around the main lobby as they made there way to the exit before he saw it glowing against the wall, he began to squirm prompting Kurogane to put his son on the floor.

Mori smiled broadly and began jumping up and down, "Look daddy! It's a froggy!" Mori pointed at the claw machine in the small arcade area.

Kurogane looked to where his son was pointing, "Hn." He grabbed Mori's hand to leave only to have his son pull against the direction he wanted to go.

"But daddy," Mori whined childishly tears, welling in his eyes. He dropped his father's hand and used the hand not clutching his favorite toys to wipe his eyes as he sniffled.

Kurogane looked to the sky for strength while crossing his arms over his chest. He looked back down at his son sternly, "You already have hundreds of toys, you don't need anymore."

Mori sniffled again and whipped the tears from his eyes. "Yes, daddy." He held his hand out to his father who took it.

Kurogane turned to leave only to look at the little boy he called his son. He couldn't stand the sadness on the kids face. He grunted loudly causing his son to look at him, "Fine! I'll get the damn toy." He let go of Mori's hand and his son took off laughing to the machine.

Kurogane put a dollar in the machine and set to work winning the frog. Twenty minutes later Mori was slumped against the side of the machine boredom being the primary emotion etched on his face, "Daddy, it's okay. We can go home now."

Kurogane vaguely heard Mori speak, this stupid claw machine had become something of a personal challenge for him. It was just a stupid arcade game and he had already pumped nearly twenty dollars into the machine. "I almost have it," he said using the joy stick to guide the claw so it hovered over the frog. He lined the claw up perfectly before hitting the red button to drop the metal hand. The claw grabbed the frog lifting it into the air Mori saw this and stood up pressing his nose against the glass. It was all so close now, and then it dropped. Kurogane banged his forehead against the glass, "Fuck." He thought to himself that Fai's dramatics must be rubbing off one him.

Unknown to the tall and dark man Fai stood in the lobby just having gotten done watching a movie with Tomoyo. He spied Kurogane from the opposite side of the building and smiled while watching him with the small boy he assumed was Kurogane's son. Seeing the man's frustration Fai made his way over to the man. He approached from behind and Mori looked at him with a questioning face before Fai raised a finger to his lips signaling Mori to remain quiet. It was only then that Fai launched himself and Kurogane's unsuspecting back, "Kuro-chu!"

Kurogane stumbled forward face planting into the glass of the machine He violently shrugged the bartender off of him, "What the hell idiot!" He turned around harshly a scowl of complete annoyance on his face.

Fai smiled thoroughly pleased with himself. "Are you annoyed with me Kuro-meanie or are you upset because you can't win a toy for Mori," Fai questioned motioning to the small child beside them.

Mori gasped, "You know my name?"

Fai bent settling his hands on his knees, "Of course I do! Me and Kuro-daddy are," he paused thinking of the right word to use, "friends." Mori smiled hugging his toys to himself causing Fai to notice Modoki. "Oh, I see Mori-kun got Modoki!"

Mori was suddenly very happy with Fai and it showed in the excited tone of his voice, "You got Modoki for me," he asked enthusiastically. Fai giggled causing the little boy to assume he was right. "Thank you for being friends with my daddy. No body likes him cause' he's scary," Mori whispered, though not quietly enough for Kurogane to not hear.

Kurogane face palmed himself before looking upon the unfolding scene in horror. His son was in the middle of meeting his, something. In all honesty he didn't know what to call Fai. The blonde had referred to him as his friend and when that had happened the taller man had felt a pang of irritation rush through him. The last thing he needed right now was for Mori to become attached to a person that was supposed to be a secret, this was more a fatherly instinct than anything.

Fai finished his long winded laugh that part way through Mori had joined in on. "Kuro-tan isn't really that scary, he's a big softy," Fai said to Kurogane's son with a wink. "So what seems to be the problem over here," Fai asked knowing full well that Kurogane was just being stubborn.

"Daddy's trying to win the frog," Mori said pointing to the machine. "But he can't," he finished with a bit of a frown.

"Oh, be quiet brat, I almost have it," Kurogane said with a bit of a huff as he turned away from the two. It was then he spotted Tomoyo leaving the ladies room and begin to walk over to them. "Besides this game is rigged," Kurogane stated with half interest.

Fai waved his hand in the air brushing the taller man off, "Oh, Kuro-chi you're just being a child." Fai pulled a quarter out of his pocket and walked over to the machine popping the coin in.

"Me childish? You moron! You're the one laughing with a three year old," Kurogane yelled out.

Tomoyo approached haven gotten the gist of the situation she said to the yelling man, "Hush, you'll break his concentration of you yell." She smiled to herself as she watched Fai play the claw with expertise only gained through hours of dedication.

Kurogane watched dumbfounded as, yes in fact, Fai was able to capture the frog and deposit it down the hole. Mori began to scream for joy as Fai pulled the stuffed animal out and gave it to the ecstatic child. Kurogane looked away in aggravation, if he had had one more chance he could have gotten it. He did the hard part anyway.

"Thank you, um," Mori though for a moment trying to recall the blonde's name before realizing he didn't know it. "What's your name?"

Fai laughed airily, "My name if Fai. Fai D. Flourite. But Mori-kun can call me Fai."

Mori smiled a bit embarrassed, "Thank you Fai!"

Fai stood up a triumphant smile on his face, "We should get going, Tomo-chan and I should be at the bar for opening."

Mori's heart sank a bit, he liked Fai, he made his dad happy in a way that he wasn't. Even being such a young child he saw the slight change in his father. "Aww, I wanted to play with Fai-san more."

"Don't be sad Mori," Fai cooed, "we can play a different time." Fai looked to Tomoyo and then to Kurogane who had done the same.

Tomoyo bent so she was eye level with Mori, "Hi Mori, I'm Tomoyo. Do you want some candy?" Mori instantly perked up and shoved his toys into his fathers arms so he could take Tomoyo's hand and be led to the candy machine.

Fai and Kurogane watched them recede to the opposite side of the theater waiting till they were a safe distance between the other party before either of them spoke. "Your son is very handsome, just like you Kuro-myu."

Kurogane blushed a bit at the compliment, "He looks more like his mother in some ways."

Fai sighed, "Is that so," he stated rather than questioned. "Are you coming by later Kuro-daddy?"

The taller man ran a hand through his hair, "I'm not sure. Yuuko's been sick lately I don't want Mori to catch it so I don't think I'll be going out at least not until Yuuko is feeling better."

Fai turned a worried yet dejected expression on his face, "I hope it's not serious." There was a pause before Fai spoke again, "We should get going, I'm sure you have to feed Mori-kun soon."

"Hn," Kurogane affirmed Fai, began to walk away only to be pulled back by Kurogane and behind the wall of the arcade entrance way where they couldn't be seen. Kurogane kissed the bartender swiftly before pushing him out of the not so secluded space. "Don't be upset. It's annoying."

Fai smiled at the man and it was in that moment that they both knew they were thinking the same thing. They both wished that there was nothing to hold them back from being with each other. Each of them felt their own amount of guilt for thinking such things but didn't say anything.

The four of them left the theater together, departing separate ways. A while later after having stopped off at a local burger stand for dinner Kurogane was walking home with Mori on his back yet again. His son was busy playing with his toy's and was making sound effects to simulate flight, Kurogane smiled warmly at his son's actions. He could never give his kid up, but would having a homosexual father be a burden if he decided to leave Yuuko. He couldn't make his son's life harder just for his own happiness. Kurogane wasn't even sure why he was thinking about this now but he was. Images of him and Fai doing things out in the open were constantly flooding his mind. Perhaps it was because he had seen Fai at the theater. It wasn't as if the meeting would have gone much different but there wouldn't have been a reason to hide anything. For the first time since his son had been born Kurogane was desperately wishing for a different life.

Suddenly Mori slouched against his father's head, "Daddy don't you think Fai's pretty?"

This brought Kurogane out of his thought's causing him to raise a slightly frightened eyebrow, "What do you mean kid?"

"You look at him different. Like the way strangers look at Mommy," Mori stated simply enough.

Kurogane grunted, leave it up to his son to be so innocently perceptive. Kurogane decided to try to brush it off instead of engage it. "Fai is a man, Mori."

His son leaned his body to the side and bent forward so he could look at his dad, "So? Is that wrong Daddy?"

It was at that moment that Kurogane knew he was between a rock and a hard place, in some respects. Whatever he said right now on some cosmically unknown level would stick with his son the rest of his life. "No, but some people might say it is." Where was Yuuko when you needed her?

"Why?" Mori questioned causing his father to think that he had chosen the perfect time to go into his 'why' phase.

"People think that only a man and a woman should be together, but the truth is that people can be with whoever makes them happy," Kurogane said saying the most natural response that had come to him.

Mori was quiet a moment, "You should be with Fai!" Kurogane mentally slapped himself and Yuuko because he was sure it was both of their fault that Mori was so intuitive.

Kurogane began to mentally stumble, how was it that his three year old son was catching onto his secret? "But I'm with your mother."

Mori smiled to himself hugging his father's head, "But Fai makes you happy and I want my daddy to be the happiest daddy ever! I want you to be as happy as me." Mori smiled and squeezed his father's head. With that sentence all the fears Kurogane had about his happiness and his son's subsided, leave up to the innocence of a child to point out the stupidity of an adult.

~o~

It was four days since Kurogane had last seen Fai and Yuuko had not been feeling better. Every morning or early afternoon was the same Yuuko would get violently ill and shortly afterward she would fall asleep for hours on end. On Thursday of that week Kurogane and Yuuko had decided it would be best for her to go stay with her mother for a while blaming the illness on the weather in the area and so that Mori would have constant supervision while simultaneously giving Yuuko time to rest. Not only that but Yuuko was the primary care taker of Mori during the day and with her constant spells of illness Mori wasn't properly being taken care of.

The family pulled up to the beach house Yuuko's mother owned. The house was secluded on a small cliff that had a wooden stair way to the beach. Flowers wrapped around the property lining the wrap around porch. The blue gray color of the wide one story house matched the mood of the people there, worried.

Yuuko was sitting in the passenger's seat sleeping when Kurogane roused her from sleep. Yuuko's mother had seen them pull up and emerged on the porch waiting for her daughter and grandson to come inside. Yuuko got out of the car looking as if she had emerged from a battle field, dark circles were covering her eyes despite the sleep she had had, Kurogane thought this might be because of the lack of food she had been ingesting lately.

Yuuko got out of the car and made her way up the steps to her mother who wrapped her in a tight embrace before Yuuko sat on the porch swing. Kurogane got Mori out of the car and carried him to the porch where his grandmother took him. He walked over to Yuuko planting a small kiss on her lips for show before saying his goodbyes and leaving back to Nihon.

It was late when Kurogane got back to town, nearly eleven, late for anybody with work early in the morning. But it had been four days since he had seen Fai and he longed for the presence of his blonde, thus it was not surprising to him when he pulled up to the dojo, cutting the engine and walking to the familiar bar.

Kurogane opened the door to to see Tomoyo working the bar alone. He raised an eyebrow, as far as he was concerned the blonde only ever skipped work when they were doing something. He approached the bar and Tomoyo smiled widely, almost as if she was relieved by the man's presence. "Tomoyo, where the idiot," Kurogane asked when he reached the bar.

"He's upstairs," she said with a smile. Kurogane patted the bar throwing in a 'Hn' of gratitude before turning to the stairs. He reached the door to Fai's loft apartment and opened the door not being patient enough to knock. The apartment was dark and the moon had waned enough so that hardly any light was cast through the window, leaving the hall light as the only lighting.

"Tomo-chan," Fai said from the bundle of blankets covering him, "I told you I'm not working today. I'm to depressed."

Kurogane leaned against the doorway slightly amused by the blonde. "I guess I should leave then, huh blondie," he said teasingly.

Fai bolted upright and turned to the man in his doorway, "Kuro-tan!" Fai threw the blankets off himself and ran across the apartment to the larger man wrapping his arms around him and burying his face into Kurogane's chest.

The taller man walked them forward into apartment closing the door behind them and switched on the light. "What's this about being depressed, idiot," he questioned the blonde who was still holding him.

Fai let go and blushed, "I'm not depressed Kuro-chu." Kurogane looked at him sternly refusing to move until he got his answer. Fai looked away embarrassed, "Um, I really missed you Kuro-myu." He looked back to the taller man and smiled shyly.

Kurogane cracked a sly smile, god knew he had missed the blonde but he wasn't about to say so. "What exactly did you miss about me," he asked backing the smaller man into the support beam of the apartment.

Fai became suddenly nervous but didn't have time to say so as his lips were covered by Kurogane's. The kiss was slow and soft, allowing Kurogane to say that he had missed the blonde as well without producing the words. Kurogane pulled away and gathered the blonde in his arms, it seemed as if it had been an eternity since he had done this."Well I certainly missed that," Fai teased making small circles with his index finger on Kurogane's chest.

A moment passed that the two enjoyed together purely because they were alone and with the other, "Blondie, I'm tired. I'm going to sleep. I have work in the morning."

Fai looked at the ground dejected as Kurogane pulled away. He had just gotten there and now he was leaving, Fai thought this extremely unfair. He looked up though and saw that instead of heading for the door Kurogane was taking his shirt off and heading towards the bed. "Kuro-sleepy what are you doing," Fai questioned as a smile began to devour his face.

"What the fuck does it look like I'm doing moron? I'm going to sleep and your going to work. Yuuko is still sick and her and Mori went to her mom's house. The house is too big for one person," Kurogane finished kicking his shoes off before moving his hands to his belt.

"If Kuro-rin is going to stay here I don't want to work," Fai pouted adding a stomp of his foot.

Kurogane removed his belt, "Too bad," was his curt reply.

"But why," Fai whined crawling into bed next to the taller man.

Kurogane laid down facing the blonde, "Because you're to damn lazy, besides I'm here now you have no excuse."

Fai sighed staring at Kurogane's red eyes that stared back at his own blue ones. "She's still sick," Fai questioned as Kurogane raised his hand to his pale face gently stroking his cheek.

"Hn," Kurogane confirmed before kissing the blonde again. When he pulled away Fai smiled biting his lip as if trying to stop himself from bursting. Kurogane turned so his back was to the blonde, "Go work, I'm not leaving I'll be here when you're done."

Having his fear of Kurogane leaving eased he got up and dressing in his usual bar attire he went to work. Sure enough when he returned five hours late Kurogane was there sleeping. Fai crawled into bed next to the man who even in his sleep pulled the blonde close to him. Fai fell asleep thinking to himself, _This is what love is._

~o~

Kurogane woke up the next morning slightly confused about his surroundings before he felt something smooth shift against him. He opened his eyes to see the blonde sleeping against his chest, he would have smiled to himself if he hadn't been so tired. He turned grabbing his phone off the nigth stand closest to him. The time read six-thirty, _Fuck, it's to late to go home and get my shit_, Kurogane thought. He reluctantly dialed his phone waiting for Syaoran to pick up.

"Kurogane-san," Syaoran asked answering the phone.

"Kid go to my house and get my bag, it's in the closet," Kurogane said irritated more at himself than anything.

"Yes sir! But why can't you get it," the apprentice asked in confusion.

"That's none of your business just do it. While you at it grab the laundry off the dryer too, would ya."

"Yes sir I'll see you when I arrive."

Fai had woken up next to him and was now staring at the man's tired face. "Why do you need so much stuff Kuro-grump?"

The taller man sighed, "I'd rather be here if there's no be reason for me to be home."

Fai smiled calmly, "Does that mean Kuro-cute is staying with me?"

Kurogane grunted barring his teeth. "Don't make a big deal out of it, it's annoying."

Fai felt his heart flutter causing him to get up as he felt compelled to take care of the man he had admitted to himself only hours before that he loved. "How do you like your coffee Kuro-tan?" Fai flipped on the coffee maker and went to the cupboard pulling out his travel mug.

Kurogane looked at the blonde from where he was sitting on the bed a bit surprised that he was actually being taken care of. "I like it black," he said getting up.

Fai began to hum to himself, "Why don't you go shower, when your done I'll have your coffee ready when your done." Fai turned smiling brightly at the man who was heading towards him. Kurogane pulled the blonde in for a warm hug before planting a kiss on Fai's forehead.

"Thanks, babe," Kurogane regretted saying the four letter word immediately knowing he would never live it down.

Fai smiled and began to laugh out words, "What did you say Kuro-sweet?"

"Nothing! I didn't say shit!" Kurogane turned away as his skin began to become beet red. He entered the bathroom and looked under the sink where he found a towel for himself. _Dammit! If I keep saying stupid shit like that he'll assume I love him. Which I don't._ Kurogane thought a moment_, Holy shit, I love an idiot._  
>Kurogane emerged from the shower ten minutes later where sure enough Fai had prepared his coffee and even made him a breakfast sandwich. Kurogane left feeling better than he had in a long time almost as if he was in an actual relationship. He walked out of the Cat's Eye after having kissed the blonde goodbye. The morning air was cold and filled with moisture as Kurogane walked to the dojo lost in his thoughts. Syaoran was standing outside the dojo having forgotten his key in his rush to get to<p>

Kurogane's house.

"Kurogane-san," Syaoran said when he saw the man round the corner. "I thought you were inside the dojo already when I saw your car."

Kurogane quickly searched for a reasonable explanation, "There was a stray I chased it off." Kurogane pulled his keys out of his pocket and opened the dojo. The work day had begun and he, for once, could not wait for work to end.

~o~

The week went by quickly, it was Wednesday night and Kurogane had just gotten back from work. Fai had taken to going down to the bar after Kurogane had gone to sleep and therefore was standing in the kitchen doing dishes when he heard Kurogane enter the small apartment. He looked over his shoulder to Kurogane, "Hi Kuro-pon," Fai called from the sink. Kurogane dropped his bag and walked up behind the blonde snaking his arms around the thin waist. He began trailing kisses down the blonde's neck

Fai turned his head so he could see Kurogane, "Kuro-tan, what's gotten into you?" Whatever it was Fai wasn't exactly complaining.

Kurogane continued his ministrations eliciting a moan of pleasure from Fai. He didn't exactly know either but seeing Fai standing there had switched something on in him. They hadn't had sex with each other yet and it was becoming more difficult to contain the lust they had for each other, it just so happened that Kurogane had reached his breaking point first. Kurogane bit the tender flesh covering Fai's collar bone.

Fai turned around so he was facing the taller man. He brought his lips to Kurogane's becoming wrapped up in the intensity Kurogane was asserting. Kurogane's tongue begged for access to the moist cavern and was quickly granted his wish. He dominated Fai's mouth, wanting to hear the sweet noises of pleasure from Fai. Fai moaned into Kurogane's mouth causing the larger man to smile slyly. He began to trail kisses down Fai's neck and reached his hand up the blonde's shirt choosing to rest his hand on the blonde's hip he began to massage the area deeply, working his way down the 'v' of Fai's pelvis. "Kuro," Fai moaned the deeper Kurogane's hands went.

Kurogane ran his hands up Fai's sides till he reached Fai's erect nipples. He ran his thumbs over the erect flesh and Fai threw his head back wondering how he had restrained from being with Kurogane in the coming way for so long. This was what he wanted, he was ready to give his body to this man who had had his soul before this moment. He knew Kurogane would be there in the morning. And that the following actions would be filled with passion, lust, and love. He wouldn't feel empty in the end. Instead Fai felt full. He laid next to Kurogane panting. He was sore in all the right places as he shifted he naked body for he was flush against Kurogane. He felt bruises begin to form on his torso, hips, and neck. This is what sex was supposed to be; a physical representation of love.

Kurogane pulled the blonde closer, Jesus he loved the man who's hair he was stroking. He had to tell him, but not now. He wanted to admit it to him when his mind wasn't clouded with lust. He had reached a new level of intimacy he had never experienced before. He was sure he had bruised the delicate flesh of his lover in the heat of the moment. He had never known it was possible to feel so close to another person.

Fai suddenly spoke. "Kuro, I've been thinking you're like a dragon." Kurogane shifted his head so he could see the blonde's eyes silently telling him to continue. "You're a protector. You look menacing but really you're wise and caring. You would do anything to protect the ones you care for."

Kurogane looked to the ceiling pulling the blonde so his head rested on the broad chest. "What does that make you then blondie?"

"I'm a phoenix. I rose from nothingness when I felt like I was all used up. And you were there, the big strong dragon and because of you I feel like I am something beautiful and wonderful. Like I'm worth something."

"Fai, you are worth much more than you think," Kurogane said softly nuzzling his face into the blonde locks that now smelled of sweat and sex. "We should shower," Kurogane said after a minute. He got up offering his hand to the blonde pulling the smaller man close to him when he noticed the man was walking in pain. "I'm sorry, blondie," Kurogane said gruffly.

Fai chuckled, "It's okay Kuro-pon I'm just not use to anybody so big." Fai smiled broadly up at his new lover who smiled a bit sadistically.

"Get use to it," Kurogane stated bluntly while slapping Fai's already bruised and red ass. "I'll be around for a long time."

Both men got in the shower welcoming the warm water over their sticky flesh. The shower wasn't as erotic as one would think, it was instead sensual and close. Under the warm water the bruises left on Fai and the scratch marks on Kurogane's chest and back were more visible. The warm water cleared Fai's mind and he knew that regardless of the response he might get he was ready to tell Kurogane he loved him.

Once the men were dried and dressed, Kurogane in blue sweatpants and Fai in one of Kurogane's shirt, they began to strip the soiled sheets and replace them with fresh ones. It was now or never, "Kuro-love, I wanted to tell you something."

Kurogane paused looking at him signaling him to continue. "I wish our relationship wasn't like this," Fai trailed off when Kurogane's phone rang.

"Fuck, give me a second blondie," He turned around looking through his bag for his phone. He pulled it out and answered it. The voice on the other end was so loud and frantic that even Fai could hear it from his place perched on the freshly made bed. "Noi, calm down! What's wrong?" Kurogane looked to Fai a bit of shock etched on his face. "Is she okay?" There was another pause, the voice on the other end was now sobbing. "Noi calm down, I'll be there as soon as possible." Kurogane hung up the phone going to the closet for a shirt.

"Kurogane, what's wrong," Fai asked in a serious tone.

Kurogane emerged from the closet finding a pair of shoes by the door, "That was Yuuko's mother, Yuuko's in the hospital, I have to go."

Fai was out of bed following the frantic man he loved, "Is there anything I can do?"

"Fai stay here, I'll get back to you as soon as possible, but right now I have to go. Mori and Yuuko need me there," Kurogane said grabbing his keys from the counter. He went to the door opening it quickly. "I'm sorry, we'll finish this when I get back." He kissed Fai on the forehead, "I wish it wasn't like this either," he said more calmly before kissing Fai again.

Then he was gone, the door was closed and Fai was standing dazed in the middle of his apartment. He whispered after the love of his life, "I love you." He started crying, he wasn't sure why but he was preparing for heartbreak.

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><p>This took a long time; I feel as if nothing happened but in that case it's a filler for the drama unfolding in the next chapter. I never try to leave with a cliff hanger that's to edgy so I'm sorry for this one.<p>

I know Kuro gets a little ooc at the end in a way yet he doesn't, I'm not sure. It's a bunch of obligation verses actual love.

Anyway, next chapter might be kinda short just so we can movie into the next big plot bunny.

As always, I love you all, please click the blue button and review. It helps me write.


	9. A Simple Complication

So guys sorry for the wait and the fact this is a pretty short chapter in comparison to what has been being posted. Please keep in mind though that school has started for me and now I'm back to crying over homework. Anyway if the wait gets to long between chapters just shoot me a PM and I will personally update you on the story progress.

Disclaimer here.

* * *

><p>Fai's own ragged breathing was the only sound in the apartment after Kurogane had left. He was currently holding himself on the freshly made bed as silent, angry, and frustrated tears made their way down his face.<p>

Fai thought to himself that jealousy was a horrible thing, he had no right to be jealous of Yuuko. She was sick and while he was truly concerned for her health but he would never forget this day. Everything had been perfect and he assumed it would stay that way, it was stupid of him to think that Kurogane was his and his alone and he now realized it. Perhaps it was petty, but Fai couldn't remember the last time he had been so happy and he was becoming selfish.

The stress of not knowing the details of Yuuko's condition was also beginning to get to him. Kurogane's had left in such an ambiguous rush that Fai was left to assume the worst, whatever the worst was.

All he wanted was to be with Kurogane and that alone was starting to feel like a crime. Fai began to feel as if the universe was against his happiness. It had taken his brother, his family, propelled him into an abusive relationship, made him doubt his self-worth, and now the first good thing to happen to him in years was a man who was unable to fully devote himself to a relationship. What irked Fai the most was that he was willing to throw himself into Kurogane's life and be a figurative mother – the way he saw it was that if Kurogane was a father, he was the mother. He had never seen himself as a family person but Kurogane was a father and he was willing to adapt. That showed something, right?

Fai sniffled and whipped his eyes in frustration. His anger at the situation was mostly directed towards the fact that he felt abandoned. Like all the other times before Kurogane. One thing he had been looking forward to, once he realized what was to transpire between him and the larger man, was that he would be there in the morning and he would get his fluffy pillow talk that wasn't just a 'thank you' or 'that was amazing'. He felt cheated, to say the least. On top of that he hadn't gotten it out. He had been so ready to tell Kurogane that he loved him. Cheated was the only way to describe the later part of the evening.

There was a sudden dainty knock at the door and Fai burrowed further into the bed not wanting to talk to Tomoyo just yet, instead he wanted to wallow in self pity at least for a while longer. In the back of his mind though he knew talking to her would help, in fact he was a bit surprised she hadn't come sooner. Fai heard the sound of the door creaking open before he heard Tomoyo, "Fai-chan," she called out into the room. When there was no reply she crept in, gently shutting the door behind herself. Fai felt the weight of the bed shift next to him before he felt Tomoyo's petite frame atop the upturned side of his body. "Kurogane-san looked worried when he left," Tomoyo left the question like statement open for Fai to continue. With how long she had known Fai it never took much prying and the majority of the time no prying was even necessary.

"Yuuko's in the hospital and Kurogane had to go to her," Fai huffed out more angrily than appropriate. He turned so he was on his back and Tomoyo's head rested on Fai's stomach atop her folded hands. He folded his arms and blew a strand of hair out of his face as if he was an angry nine year old.

Tomoyo chuckled at her friends childishness but regardless she showed her concern in her eyes. "Fai-chan, just because he has other obligations does not mean he would rather not be with you. You just have to be aware that you are not the only important person in his life and sometime the others will demand his attention more than you."

Fai knew what Tomoyo said was the truth, from what he had learned about Kurogane, Yuuko was his best friend though she was never officially adorned the title. He smiled sadly and turned to Tomoyo giving her and affirmative nod.

She popped up and pushed herself off the bed, popping her back as she stretched. "Now that that's settled let's go work," Tomoyo said in a cheery voice and extending her hand to the blonde.

Fai blushed several shades of crimson before sitting up feeling a slight ache in the lowest part of his back. "Actually Tomo-chan it's, um, quite painful to walk right now," Fai scratched the back of his head and looked away.

Tomoyo's own cheek dusted a light pink before she smiled and let out a small giggle. "I thought I heard somebody screaming profanities I just thought Kurogane would never make a move," She turned on her heel and walked out of the room leaving Fai feeling slightly better, yet he still couldn't shake the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach. What if Yuuko won it all in the end? Fai was unaware that there was no competition - in Kurogane's heart.

~o~

Kurogane sat in Yuuko's room dutifully next to her bed. He had sent Noi home with Mori some hours prior after the doctors had assured them that Yuuko was fine and just needed her rest.

He groaned with agitation, he should have been there for Yuuko and forced her to see a doctor despite her utter contempt for them. He should have done something. Guilt was running through his veins, in the hours he had been there he had had many more thoughts like this. It felt like he wasn't fulfilling his duty as a father or husband. Sure he could rationalize slacking in the husband department but not as a father. In all reality he was overreacting and in the back of his mind he was aware of that but the much larger voice telling him that his son was not being properly fathered had reduced him to this.

Yuuko began to stir, opening her eyes she momentarily panicked before she spotted Kurogane. It was then that the familiar smell of hospital air registered in her nostrils and her face contorted. "I hate hospitals," she said moving to sit herself up.

"Oi, don't try to sit up," Kurogane said standing and pressing the intercom button located behind the bed. "They said to call when you were awake," he explained to Yuuko who had realized she was to tired to sit up anyway.

"Mr. Suwa can we help you," a young woman's voice asked through the intercom. Yuuko smiled halfheartedly at the slightly flirtatious tone in the nurse's voice.

"She woke up can you send the damn doctor in now so that he can tell us what's up with her," Kurogane said irritated by the fact the stupid doctor had refused to tell him anything until Yuuko woke up.

"Right away sir, bye Mr. Suwa," the nurse said before cutting communication, you could almost hear the batting of her eyelashes when she had said his name.

The tall man turned back to Yuuko, "What happened? - your mother was no help." He added the last part to explain his question.

Yuuko sighed attempting to recall that evening, "I was tired but I finally had the desire to eat something so I went to the kitchen." She stopped, collecting her thoughts, "Then my stomach hurt and I lost stability in my legs. I collapsed to the floor before I tried to stand, thankfully I didn't because after that I fainted." She stopped talking, "My mother has been trying to get me to go to the doctors I guess I just provided her with and excuse," Yuuko sighed out tiredly.

It was then that the doctor came strolling in checking over a manilla folder in his hands and an older nurse followed him in wheeling a machine in front of her. The doctor rounded the bed as the nurse plugged in the machine. "It seems the doctor that was on duty when you came in ordered an ultrasound for when you woke up to identify your stomach problem, though the staff has it's suspicions," the doctor said looking away from his paperwork and smiling at the patient who glowered back.

Before Yuuko could react, protest, or question cool gel was deposited on her abdomen by the nurse who handed the doctor the sensor. "How do you know about my stomach problem?"

"When you came in you were conscious for a few moments before you passed out again," the doctor said. The room went silent for a split second before the doctor spoke again, "Yep, just as we expected!"

Yuuko muttered something about stomach ulcers and her moms spicy cooking under her breath but the truth shocked her and Kurogane pale, "Congratulations, it seems your pregnant." The doctor began hitting buttons on the machine to size the head and take measurements.

"What do you mean I'm pregnant," Yuuko demanded looking dumbfounded at the screen. Kurogane on the other hand was uncharacteristically gaping like a child at the screen.

The doctor ignored the question, "And rather far along, roughly twenty-eight weeks."

"But I haven't even gained weight, maybe five or so pounds but that's nothing," Yuuko said.

The doctor continued his job, "Your mother told us that you haven't been eating properly, when you came in we diagnosed you with sever anemia onset by your pregnancy, also explaining the tiredness. It was the stomach pain we were really worried about considering we found blood when examining you"

Finally Kurogane spoke, "But it wasn't a miscarriage? Is the baby alright?" Suddenly concern filled his voice at the prospect of the child being injured in anyway.

"Oh Mr. Suwa the baby is fine just look at his or her heartbeat on the screen. Once we got her medical history from the hospital she last gave birth at we learned that Yuuko and the baby don't have compatible blood types causing her body to attack the fetus, the blood was just a sign of this abnormality."

Both Yuuko and Kurogane stared at the screen intently watching the doctor glide past their child's beating heart. The doctors question barely reached either of them in their dazed state. "Would you like to know the sex of the baby," the doctor questioned a second time. Yuuko looked to Kurogane before making an affirmative nod. "It's a girl, congratulations."

Kurogane looked on in amazement as suddenly pride and joy filled his heart. He thought that it was impossible to love anything that you couldn't touch or see so much, but he did. He loved his baby girl with every ounce of strength he had. He loved Yuuko for giving him his family. He would never be taken for a family man or a great father but that's what he was. Always putting his family ahead of himself.

He couldn't wait to tell Fa, and when the thought had finished formulating in his head that's when he realized it. He was stuck. With Yuuko that is. He couldn't even think about leaving her now that they were aware she was pregnant. Mori was a bit older and for the most part Kurogane had been with him during every moment of his free time when he was and infant, and though he would never admit it he believed that his attentive parenting was the reason him and his son were close. The being inside Yuuko was also his child and deserved all the attention Mori had received. Though he didn't want to accept the realization that he would be unable to do that with Fai not _just _in his life but also being a prominent figure in such he wouldn't be able to provide the attention needed to his coming daughter. On top of that he cared for Fai to much to expect him to wait and be okay with sparse and short meetings. Though he would never acknowledge it he truly believed that his lover deserved just as much attention as his children. It was never that simple though. The confines of marriage did not allow Fai to be an openly known part of his life. In his life there were two things that were irrevocably the most important things to him; Mori and Fai. Not that anybody else was less important they just didn't affect him the way the previously mentioned did.

With the turn of events though Kurogane had to put his priorities in perspective. In his life there were two things that were irrevocably the most important things to him: Mori and his unborn child. It never even dawned on him there could be more than two important people in his life. Perhaps it would have if the ring on his finger hadn't felt so heavy at that moment.

~o~

Fai hadn't heard from Kurogane since he left his apartment four days prior. The apartment had seemed abnormally cold since the larger man left. Fai had been so worried that he had barely slept more than twelve hours in the last ninety-six hours and the drain was starting to show on his body. He looked sickly pale and stress had cut his appetite to nearly nothing. He found himself cleaning and re-cleaning the apartment to calm his nerves. Not only that but he was working so diligently in the bar to distract himself that he was leaving hardly any work for Tomoyo. Despite the conversation he had had with Tomoyo he was still worried over the unknown.

It was currently six in the morning and Fai was sipping a cup of bitter coffee while watching the sun begin to rise over the rooftops. The light was scattered by the droplets in the air causing the world to have and almost dream-like appearance. Moisture was collecting on the window keeping the reality of the day at bay. Fai brought his hand to his neck where he ran his fingertips over the oblong-shaped bruise that was now beginning to fade between his collar bone and neck, by doing this he knew he was cared for. He wasn't worried about the relationship he had with Kurogane he was worried about the man. He didn't know what to expect when he would next see him. If something horrible had happened to Yuuko, Fai wasn't sure what he would be able to do to help. He didn't want the taller man to go through whatever it was alone.

For once in his life Fai was confident in the relationship he had.

Fai had leaned his head against the window when he felt the floor begin to vibrate slightly right before he heard the sounds of heavy foot steps approaching the door of the apartment. He instantly became alert as the sounds grew closer, something about the thudding of footsteps had put the blonde on edge. The door was thrown open and Kurogane stepped into the apartment. Fai stood up straight, under normal circumstances he would have erupted into a large smile but something about Kurogane's demeanor was different. His eyes were cold and he stood frozen in place.

Fai gulped inaudibly as Kurogane shifted on his feet as if he nervous or impatient. "Kuro-san," Fai ventured taking a wary step towards the taller man.

Kurogane's eyes narrow, making his normally ruby eyes appear black. "Would you quit it with the fucking nicknames," Kurogane spat out. He looked menacing, with his arms tensed by his sides and his cold stare became cloder. The stare, everything resembling hatred was swimming in the liquid red-black irises.

Fai's mouth went slack, suddenly the lack of sleep, eating, and extreme stress of the last four day hit him like a freight train. "Kuro-chu, is something wrong," Fai ventured again. The blonde was perfectly aware something was wrong, very wrong; though something inside of his consciousness wouldn't accept it. His pale lips began to quiver. This wasn't his Kurogane, the man he loved. The man before him wouldn't save him from himself, he wouldn't care, tell him when he was being stupid and over reacting, he wouldn't have held him close just four nights before as their bodies mingled in ecstasy.

Kurogane was now refusing to meet the blonde's gaze, "This is wrong." His words came out as a mumble. He didn't want to say it, and when he did his stomach nearly caused him to become sick, but this had to be done, Fai had to hate him by the end of this. When he looked up finally to make sure the blonde had heard him Fai was staring at the wooden floor boards, blue eyes darting across the floor as if he was searching for something to keep him grounded.

Fai's world was falling apart, what did Kurogane mean by _This is wrong_? Nothing was making sense anymore and he didn't even realize he had asked for Kurogane to repeat himself till Kurogane began to answer him. "You fucking heard me, idiot. This is over. Whatever the hell this was, it was a waste of my time," tears began to sting Fai's eyes and he felt salty water coating his cheeks that were now red out of frustration.

"You can't do this, Kuro-sama! You don't mean it! Tell me what happened," Fai screamed dropping to his knees, even on the floor he continued to shake. The coffee mug in his hand dropped to the ground, shattering into jagged pieces not unlike his heart. It was becoming hard to breathe as Kurogane stared coldly at the breaking man.

Kurogane felt his tough exterior begin to crack he had to leave, and quick or risk breaking down like the blonde in front of him was. All he wanted at that moment was to pick the blonde up and hold him in his arms, slowly rocking back and forth kissing away the tears falling from his lovers face as he begged for forgiveness "I just came to get my shit," Kurogane said turning away to go to the closet where he assumed his things were. He grabbed his things quickly not knowing how much longer he could be here without turning around and taking back all he said.

When he reemerged Fai was still on the ground silently crying to himself, Kurogane turned to leave as the sadness began o boil over, but was stopped when he heard Fai's meek voice. "At least tell me why," Fai demanded bracing himself against the wooden floor refusing to look at the thing standing in the place of Kurogane. His hair was covering his tear streaked face as he waited for an answer.

"I have more important things in my life. Things I can't change. Things that I must do," Kurogane answered flatly. At least the statement was mostly true, it was the tone of his voice that made it harsh. He couldn't break now, he had to make this permanent. "That's more of an explanation than you deserve." He opened the door slamming it behind him as he left.

~o~

The cool air of the early morning nearly sizzled against Kurogane's heated skin. When he had been an adolescent he had hated himself, mostly for being different in his sexual preferences. He craved to be normal, but as time wore on the hatred he felt for himself for being not only different but for not being able to come out had slowly quieted as he found other things in life to throw himself in to. The feeling of self-loathing had never really stopped and now it was back ten-fold. He loved Fai; he was doing this for the blonde, letting him go so that Fai could live his life and not be tied down by an unfair relationship. The first thing good to come into his life in the last three years and he had ruined it. He had gotten to the dojo and dumped his stuff into the back seat of his car. It was still early and he was the only one around in the streets. He couldn't contain it anymore, the hatred he felt inside, the sadness, the utter hurt; he turned sharply solidly punching the rough cement wall of the building.

Blood dripped from the fresh wound as Kurogane retracted his hand. Perhaps what he had done wasn't for the best, but he couldn't see an other alternative. Yuuko was pregnant and with the extent of her anemia she had become as sick as she was. He would be a father for a second time and to him he was also eternally bound to Yuuko. Kurogane couldn't bring himself to consider leaving Yuuko when they had a new child; he couldn't bring himself to ask Fai to keep things a secret. Even he was aware that it wasn't enough; the sneaking around, stealing kisses, acting as friends in public, never having the freedom to be. Thus he had to make Fai hate him and wish they had never met; so he could move on and find his own happiness. Kurogane wouldn't be able to live with himself if he had dragged Fai down with him. Tomoyo had told him before that she would be there to pick up the pieces and he was counting on that.

Unbeknownst to Kurogane there were no pieces to pick up.

~o~

Fai's heart had been ground into a fine powder. Fai couldn't take the pain. At the sound of the door slamming Fai's arms began to shake even more violently causing him to collapse into a crying heap on the ground. Coffee began to soak the blonde hair sprawled around his tear dripping face..

The pain was all he could think of, it was everywhere. He looked up feebly, everywhere he looked he was reminded of the dark man. His apartment was tainted with Kurogane. The bruises Kurogane had left no longer were a lovely yet sore reminder of his feelings for the man, now they were unbelievably painful. Fai mind was screaming the question, _Why?_, over and over and reviewing the conversation he had just had. All he wanted was to be somebody else, to escape his skin because he felt trapped in his own being. He had to silence it. It had to stop. The person that had picked him up and took him to new heights had not only let him fall he had dropped him; throwing him to the ground.

Fai had to take control. Through all his life's hurt he had never craved physical pain as much as he did at that moment. He sat up, using his forearms to support himself as he shakily reached his arm out to a larger piece of broken glass. He felt his pulse accelerate in anticipation, of what?- he wasn't entirely sure. He was in a dark place. He had nothing left and the pain was to much. Fai sat up and leaned against the wall. He put his smooth creamy arm out in front of him, resting in on his raised knee. The glass met skin and Fai applied pressure, his eyes began to form new tears as he dragged the jagged glass over his skin.

The blood was ruby red, much like the color of Kurogane's eyes. A sick smile spread across his face as his body registered physical pain. Suddenly life wasn't so bad and things were focused. He could think and breathe. Things were better, bearable even, if only for a moment.

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><p>So, yeah I decided to go with emo Fai. Cutting is not good guys. I know from experience but I'm really bad at giving advice I just wanted to make it clear I don't advocate others to do it. It was a boderline idea I waswn't sure was going to make it in but it did and things will only get worse from here so prepare for drama and angst.<p>

I'm not sure if I was able to make it come across as a solid point that Kurogane wants the child and loves it he just wants more than that at the same time. So there it is in case you didn't get it.

So press the blue button and give me good feedbacj guys so I can improve the story for all you lovely people!

Much love! :3


	10. Desprate Endeavor

It took me 12 days to write pretty nothing. I apologize.

I don't own

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><p>The days began to tick by endlessly for both Fai and Kurogane. They were both internally suffering while trying to relieve the pain their jagged hearts kept causing. Both would often think back to the week they had had alone and allow, for short intervals, for themselves to imagine that they were still together.<p>

Fai often found himself silently crying at night as he thought back to the scene he had made in his apartment. He thought that Kurogane must have seen him as weak in those moments and he mentally scolded himself. If he had maintained more composure perhaps he could have talked to the martial arts instructor instead of letting him walk out his door. What plagued him the most was the lack of explanation he had gotten. It was so vague and he was slowly beginning to obsess over what the real reason for Kurogane's departure could actually be. Since that day, roughly two weeks ago he hadn't left the bar other than to go to the farmer's market, which he was hoping to make a habit of. He had been throwing himself into anything that would distract him from the constant numbness, including reverting to sleeping with strangers. Fai had even shut down to Tomoyo, refusing to talk to her about what had happened between him and Kurogane other than telling her that it had ended, she knew very little. Fai had a new friend to confide in, he was silver and sharp. He had basically folded into himself. Tomoyo had been making frequent visits to Fai's house but that did little to help him, and the destructive path he had but himself on. Thus far he had been able to hide the few cuts he had on his arms by wearing long sleeved shirts, but he also knew that being able to hide his secret was only temporary. Tomoyo was already suspicious of Fai so it was only a matter of time before she found the angry red decorating his forearms. Normally he would cry into her warm shoulder until he felt less horrible but this was different. He had reverted into himself.

Kurogane had began to take his anger and frustrations out on his students driving them to their breaking points. Many students would throw up by the end of practice and all of them would be sweat drenched. He knew doing this was not right, his students would only become afraid of him and lose respect. But hell his employees were already walking on eggshells. The day he had injured his hand Sakura had asked how he had hurt himself, he yelled at her so viciously that Sakura ran from the dojo crying. He hadn't meant to make her cry and later apologized by letting her direct the woman's class alone. Sure it wasn't a verbal apology but it was strictly Kurogane. His sleeping pattern had drastically altered and many nights he would stay up tossing and turning thinking about Fai. The blonde's broken face haunted his mind's eye when he would try to sleep. Yuuko had gotten better since visiting the doctor and was now visibly gaining baby weight. When he was home Kurogane was the model husband and father tending to his pregnant wife and picking up on housework so Yuuko wouldn't strain herself. But underneath his anger was emptiness. It was like a constant poking and prodding inside his chest cavity ripping open the wound whenever he stopped to think about it. Everything was just a motion now. No feeling behind anything, it was just obligation. What a disgusting concept he was bound by. Obligation. The concept that had followed him throughout his life had also ruined what chance of a life he had ever had. _Obligation_.

~o~

_The dawn of the day was just beginning to stream through the large single window of Fai's apartment painting the room in an unreal elegance reserved for romantic movies. Fai was quietly moving around the apartment preparing breakfast for a sleeping Kurogane. The cool air from the outside was gliding through the apartment cooling it to the outside temperature. Fai had remained up after work deciding to unplug the annoying screeching alarm clock and take pleasure in being the first thing Kurogane would see when he woke up. He liked to think silently that he was the reason for the man to wake up._

_ Fai noted the time on the ticking cat clock above the stove to be 6:03; oops, he was late waking up the working man. Fai tipped towed over to the bed in an over dramatic fashion, indulging in his image of old cartoons trailing an unsuspecting character who was looking for the stealthy creature creeping behind them. He sat on the floor, casting his long dancer-like legs to the side and put his arms on the edge of the plushy cotton comforter, laying one hand over the other before resting his cheek on top of his cool fingers._

_ "Kuro-myu, it's time to get up. Mister sun has summoned you to wake," Fai cooed softly to the face mere inches from his. He waited for a reaction, some sign of life from the man he was drawing out of a deep slumber._

_ Fai watched as one of Kurogane's eyelids crack open revealing a blood-red iris. Kurogane looked none-to-happy about getting up but there was no hostility in his gaze just fatigue._

_ Fai smiled sleepily as the eye was closed off again from the world and Kurogane said in a dry sleepy voice, "No." No? Fai let out an exasperated sigh and raised his hand to stroke the tanned flesh of Kurogane's jaw line with the back of one long delicate finger. He was always amazed at how peaceful this man looked when he slept. "Blonide, stop that I'm trying to sleep." There was no real command or harshness behind his words but the bartender obliged as he smirked at the larger man's childish behavior._

_ Fai shuffled his hands to replenish the cool against his cheeks. "Please get up Kuro-sleepy, you have to go to work," Fai said quietly realizing he was more content watching the man sleep._

_ Fai heard a growl like noise emanate from deep in the mans chest. The blonde watched Kurogane's first movement of the day as the tired man slapped his hand over his face and rubbed sleep from his eyes. "Fuck work," Fai snorted at the man's comment causing him to snap his head to the blonde. "Don't laugh, you woke me up early. I should be able to fuckin' sleep with out you distracting me." Fai's heart glowed as he watched Kurogane's mouth turn in a way that expressed contentment while looking at the him, he made that smile._

_ "I unplugged your alarm clock so I could wake you up and make you breakfast." Fai smiled warmly at Kurogane's faint pink tinge._

_ Fai felt a large hand over take his, he looked to Kurogane who stared back at him with drowsy intensity. The strong muscular arm attached to the hand pulled him into the bed beside the taller man. Fai felt Kurogane nestle into Fai's blonde hair as he was pulled close, closer, and closest to the warm entity._

_ "Wake, me up in twenty minutes blondie," Kurogane sighed out into Fai's ear. Fai thought a moment knowing he should force the man up but decided against his better judgment and burrowed into the white blanket content. Everything was perfect. _

_ And then room began to shake and Fai bolted upright, what was happening? He looked over to the spot Kurogane had been only to find it empty, warmth still casting through the imprint the large body had made. The temperature around him became sweltering and Fai felt that his skin would begin to blister under the intense heat. The room took in a red light as his apartment floors began to crack – he was in hell. The walls began to ooze blood in a way that seemed almost fake, like he was in a seventies psycho-horror film. The blood seemed to be a thick substance that quickly began to fill the room, first coating the ground in an even coat._

_ Suddenly Fai screamed bloody murder, there was pain all over his now withering body. He looked down at his dream-induced naked body noting it was a mess of bruises and cuts, some of which were grotesquely infected, bleeding, or otherwise disgusting. Suddenly Kurogane was at the end of the bed seemingly unaffected by the chaos in a disturbing gut wrenching way. Fai began to crawl towards him only to find the bed was covered in needles and jagged glass. He raised his hand and shook in horror as he had to pull a rusty used syringe from his hand, dropping it aside in utter shock. He looked back to Kurogane who smirked happily before blood began to drip from all the pores in his body. Fai was to shocked to say anything but not so shocked as to prevent the bloodcurdling screams from escaping his mouth as Kurogane became the blood and crashed to the floor with a sickening splash._

Fai shot upright in his bed before running to the bathroom and promptly puking in to the basin like sink. He reached for promising silver.

One cut. Two. Three. Four. Just make the pain and the memory-dream go away. Fai looked down at his bloodied arm. A wary smile crossed his face and he inhaled. All was right with the world. Well all was tolerable anyway. But it wasn't enough. He rinsed the freely running blood off his now strikingly pale skin and watched it turn a yellowish red-brown as it became diluted in the draining water and swirled down the drain. He thought it unfair that these precious memories that he had of Kurogane were becoming perverted within his own uncontrollable subconscious as he slept unprotected against it's onslaught.

Suddenly he had to leave. It was so hot. He wasn't allowed to feel warm. "Warmth" was connotative of happy things. He needed to be as cold and numb as he felt. With out grabbing his jacket Fai rushed out into the moon lit night. He needed something to hold onto, to anchor him to reality.

He hated everything and nothing. Especially him, himself and fate. He hated nothing because he couldn't actually feel anything. Numbness and nothingness was all there was anymore. He knew what he should feel and could play the emotion but he just didn't feel it. It was like everything in life had become surreal. Life was beyond the glass wall that nobody else could see.

The moon had become full again over Nihon. The night was dull and cold in the back allies Fai was walking through. Street lamps were nonexistent in the ally ways, he was lucky if there was a dull, flickering light. Fai's teeth chattered against the cold. Coldness was something in his world of nothingness. Life was now about keeping the numbness at bay. The means by which it was achieved varied though. The cold was beginning to sting Fai's skin and he welcomed it as a means of feeling anything but numb.

It isn't often that people went looking for danger but that's what he was looking for. Something to distract him for a while. He couldn't help but think back to the time on the boardwalk where he hadn't been looking for danger, it had just found him. He figured his chances of actually coming across danger had increased because he wanted it.

Fai looked down at his bare arms admiring the neat parallel lines on his forearms, some red and angry, others healing. How long had it been now, since the first time? One month. Every time was just as great as the last. It was the gift that kept on giving. Made things easier to cope with. And the rest of the time he would pretend. Put on a smile while we worked, laughed loudly for all to hear, pushed his hyper antics on people, all to stop himself from facing reality. That's ultimately why he was out now, he was refusing to deal with his issues.

Fai didn't realize where he was until he stood outside the door of an apartment. There was a welcome mat and Fai smiled coldly at it. This was not a welcoming place. In fact he should turn around and leave. Two years he had stayed away, now he was back all because he needed to feel wanted, needed to fill his urge for danger, needed to silence reality. He knocked on the door and his heartbeat quickened, all the old feeling came back before the door had even swung open. He was back to being controlled and manipulated, he was pudding.

Fai's breath caught when the door finally opened, "Ashura."

Said man smiled devilishly. "Well, if it isn't my ex-lover Fai. What do you want whore?"

Fai smiled warily, "Um, I just wanted to say 'hi'. So, hi." Fai looked up to the man and smiled shyly. He had always wanted to please him so much, that's what a first love does to you.

Ashura reached his hand out to Fai's face and cupped it. Fai nuzzled the hand affectionately, "You always were cutest when you smiled." Ashura abruptly recoiled his hand crossing it over his chest. "Tell me what you really want."

Fai went frigid, "I wanted to tell you that," he paused a moment hoping that where ever Kurogane was that he would some how feel this. "I'm sorry I ever left you. And I realize that now after the last guy I dated. He was... horrible."

Ashura smiled sadistically, "Why don't you come in and we can make up. I've been waiting for you Fai. I knew you would come back."

Fai crossed the threshold of the apartment. Now he was in the lion's den.

~o~

Kurogane stopped staring at the faded yellow pages of the phone book abruptly, becoming frigid, and looked around before he dashed off to the crying noises emanating from upstairs. Why was she awake? She should be asleep another hour! Kurogane burst into the room ready to kill anybody, meaning all the people he had timed to imagine threatening his daughters existence while he ran to her, who had messed with his daughter. Thankfully there were no bad guys in sight just his little girl, now laying peacefully in her crib kicking her legs in a spastic manner. She made content gurgling noises as little spit bubble moved across her rosy baby lips to the corner of her mouth where they disappeared. She sure knew how to get her father's attention.

Kurogane went to the crib a sense of fatherly relief washing over him as he leaned over the dark wood barricade looking down at his child as she smiled up at him toothless. He couldn't help but smirk. He looked just like him, at least that's what everyone was telling him. Personally he liked the idea of his hard features on his little girl, it would scare the boys away when she was older. He reached a hand in and ran the back of his finger over the smooth, pale-tan baby skin of her cheek.

A jolt of utter despair went through him as the motion reminded him of the time when Fai had woken him up in morning. Memories of the blonde still racked through him at a constant and daily basis even five months since he had left Fai. "He would have liked you, Mujakina Jiyu," Kurogane said to his daughter who grabbed at his finger in her own happy baby bliss. They locked eyes, the most definitive thing she had inherited from her mother were Yuuko's muddy brown-red eyes.

Yuuko was gone for the day spending quality time with the big brother Mori as a late birthday present considering she had been on strict bed rest orders when he had turned four. It was times like this when Kurogane was alone that he would open up the phone book and find the number to the Cat's Eye (located on page 376) and contemplate for hours whether or not to call the bar. So far he hadn't gotten the nerve to be able to. Why would Fai want to talk to him after what he did? Regardless staring at the phone number made him forget what he had done. If only for a moment. "C'mon Kina, Let's go downstairs." Kurogane picked her small form up, minding her still bobby head. Kina had become his life along with her brother. Weekends were now being spent at home with his family now, at least until she was a bit older and every other free moment was dedicated to one of his children and their happiness.

Even though he knew his life was blessed with his children he still craved Fai. Wanted the blonde in his arms to hold and protect. He often wondered how the blonde was doing and if somebody else was slowly moving in on his love. The thought caused his stomach to twist almost as much as the fact he had never gotten a chance to tell the bartender he loved him. What a stupid man he was

Suddenly his phone began to ring and while expertly feeding his daughter with one hand he juggled the task of fishing his phone out of his pocket with his other. He pressed a button answering the phone, "This better be good, kid."

Syaoran voice could be heard in a rather frantic manner, "Kurogane-san! Doumeki can't come in and we have nobody to teach the intermediate class today."

Kina was beginning to nod off in his arms so he kept his voice low while maintaining the annoyed tone. "Why didn't he call me himself to tell me about this?"

There was a pause on the other end of the phone before the apprentice spoke, "I'm saying this as a friend Kurogane-san, everyone is afraid to talk to you right now. You keep becoming irritated at the littlest things. I'm sorry you and Fai-san broke up but that's no reason to take it out on the people around you."

Kurogane's mouth went slack, what had this kid just said? "What? I don't know what you talking about."

Syaoran sighed heavily. "You lived at his house for a week. Your car never moved. And you always came from the direction of the Cat's Eye in the morning. I got curious and followed you one day after work. I know I shouldn't have but I couldn't help it. We're all scared of you right now especially your students."

Kurogane remained silent for what seemed like a few minutes. "Fine I'll be in shortly." He paused for a second. "Oh, and Kid, you ever mention this to anyone I'll fucking kill you."

Syaoran chuckled a bit before making and affirming noise. The only person Kurogane had to blame for the situation he found himself in was himself.

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><p>On a happier note than my AN at the beginning... Fai and Kurogane will see each other for the first time in months in the next chapter.

On a slightly other note I predict perhaps four more chapters before the end. So savor the rest of the story because it's about to explode.

:3 Review all you beautiful people.


	11. Venom

A/N I know these short chapters suck. ANYWAY this had OFFICIALLY become a death fic.

Just kidding. My friend Anna would kill me.

On another note I am officially 17 as of 11 minutes ago and this is my birthday present to you.

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><p>Kurogane looked around frantically for his son who had disappeared in the large crowd at the farmers market. It was a beautiful Sunday morning and Yuuko deciding she wasn't content with staying home had woken them all up to go prance around in the temporary isles of fruit, vegetables, and hand made crafts. All had been going well before Yuuko caught sight of a herbal medicine stand and ran off, without a care in the word, leaving Kurogane with both children. Currently Kina was in a baby bjourn strapped to the front of Kurogane's chest sleeping soundly unaware that her father was in the middle of finding her lost brother.<p>

Finally, after what would seem like an eternity to any parent, Kurogane spotted Mori at a crafts stand intently looking at a small hand sewn doll. He watched as Mori pulled the dollar his mother had given him out of his pocket and give it to the old woman running the stand. Mori turned and looked slightly panicked for a moment before spotting his father, who's stare was unrelenting, and running over.

"Dad!," Mori said running up and slamming into his father's legs. "Look I got this for Kina-chan! Her name is Moro-chan!" Mori held the doll up to his father reaching around Kina's form to do so. "The lady said that there was a twin but she sold it."

Kurogane took the doll in his hand and smiled at the child's simple yet heartfelt gesture. "I'm sure she will really appreciate it," Kurogane said slightly relieved that Mori hadn't bought the doll for himself.

"Kurogane-sama," said man turned to see both Sakura and Syaoran making their way through the crowd to the small party of three. "Kurogane-sama," Sakura repeated upon reaching the others. "I've never seen you here before. Not that I come every week, but, um, I just don't usually see you outside work lately, and um, how's Yuuko-san?" Sakura spoke very fast, constantly being nervous around her boss since he had snapped at her nearly eight months ago.

Kurogane sighed as Sakura blushed and turned to Syaoran who gave her an encouraging smile, Kurogane really would never live down that moment in her eyes. "Yuuko is fine she's around here somewhere." It was then that he heard a small whimper from his daughter who began to wake up. Kurogane began to bounce slightly to soothe her.

Sakura's mouth went agape and she pressed the palms of her hands to her cheeks, "Oh! Kina-chan is just so cute! Look ay her little matching dress and headband. Yuuko-san must really like to dress her up."

Kurogane coughed in attempt to hide the blush on his cheeks. Of course Sakura would think Yuuko had dressed Kina, it wasn't like he had spent twenty minutes coordinating an outfit that was both functional and adorable. "Yeah I guess," he replied scratching his head. At his flank he could feel Mori becoming restless.

"I'm going to go look for mom," Mori declared immediately bouncing off and disappearing into the thick the crowd, yet again. Kurogane tried to call after him only to find that it was pointless.

"D-don't worry Kurogane-sama! I'll follow him," Sakura said chasing after the young boy leaving Syaoran and Kurogane alone to talk.

They were both quite a moment as they watched Sakura chase after Mori before completely disappearing. The relationship between the two had changed since Kurogane became aware that Syaoran knew about him and Fai. They were no longer master and apprentice but something more like equals. It was Syaoran who spoke first, "I saw Fai yesterday."

It may have been just four words but they cut Kurogane like a knife. Deeply penetrating the iron that protected his emotions. Kurogane continued to bounce Kina as he said while trying to remain emotionless, "What the fuck are you telling me for?"

Syaoran looked to him trying to make eye contact only to fail, "I saw him leaving the apartment complex on Gull Landing Way. I think he's seeing somebody."

Kurogane looked to the ground, dammit he would not get emotional over this! He looked even further away from the shorter teen, "Good, the idiot was supposed to move on," he said quietly, so much in fact it could have been mistaken as a mutter.

There was a brief but heavy pause in the conversation, "He didn't look well, Kurogane-san"

The two began to walk silently as Kina stared at the world around her. "What do you mean by that, " Kurogane asked hoping to hide any concern in his voice.

"He was pale and much thinner than normal," Syaoran replied timidly hoping not to set the larger man off. "But I only saw him from a distance and by coincidence."

The red-eyed man snorted, "Coincidence? More like you're living with Sakura." Syaoran blushed a deep pink color as Kurogane was about to continue teasing him as a form of payback for bringing up the blonde but then Kurogane spotted Mori. Everything stopped and Kurogane could feel his heart beat. He suddenly became all to aware of his daughters chubby and small form as his blood red eyes lock with startling cobalt. The world melted away leaving Mori grasping Fai's hand and smiling as he talked, along with Kurogane, Fai, and Kina. He watched Fai's gaze fall to his chest and swore he saw tears threaten the brims of his eye. It suddenly felt harder to breathe. It was then that a fifth figure entered the frame, draping a possessive arm over the thin shoulder. A man with long dark hair leaned in and whispered something to the blonde causing him to stiffen. Kurogane resisted the urge to destroy the man making Fai uncomfortable. Kurogane's eyes drifted momentarily to his son who was looking curiously at Fai's skin before he looking up asking a question to the blonde.

The world went back to normal speed and Fai pulled his hand away from Mori holding it defensively, before offering a small smile, addressing the small boy, and turning away leaving with the other man who pulled Fai closer tossing a cocky smile over his shoulder.

There was no doubt that what Syaoran had been saying was true, Fai was thin and pale, almost sickly but what really got him was how the man had treated him and how Fai had obeyed. Kurogane hugged Kina closer breathing warmly on her almost to reassure her that he loved her. Mori looked over, a bit of shock written on his face before retreating to his father, Sakura trailing behind him. Kurogane had to maintain his composure despite how exposed he felt.

~o~

The sun was setting behind Kurogane and Mori as they walked back, hand-in-hand, from the park to the comfort of the warm house where Kina and Yuuko most likely slept unaware the two had even left. Mori was looking at the ground, kicking pebbles in his way sadly into the gutter. Ever since they had returned from the market that morning Mori seemed out of character to both his parents.

Yuuko had asked him what was bothering him only to hear that all was well, Kurogane took the defensive route waiting for Mori to come to him. "Dad," Mori began, "Fai-san is hurt."

Kurogane side glanced his son, "What do you mean he's 'hurt', kid?"

"I think he falls down a lot," Mori explained.

Kurogane was became worried, as sudden images of the boardwalk and Fai's confession came back to him, though he wasn't exactly sure why. He stopped and bent his knees so he was at his son's level. "Mori, this is very important, what did you see," he asked a little to sharply giving his son a light shake.

Tears started to come to Mori's bloody eyes glossing them over with salty tears, "He had lotsa' scrapes and bruises." Mori whipped his eyes. "On his arms," he added running his finger nail over his forearm. It was difficult to tell whether he was crying because of his father, his confusion, or for Fai.

Kurogane pulled his son into a hug and stood with Mori in his arms, "Sorry, kid." Kurogane carried Mori the rest of the way home.

The only thing he could think at this point after what Mori had told him and what he had seen this morning was, _"What the fuck is that idiot doing?"_

~o~

Kurogane approached the main entrance of the Suwa Academy having seen something taped to the front window. He grabbed the letter addressed to him and pulled out thick card stock. It was that time of year again, the fall Main Street business dinner. He hated the stupid dinner, which was two weeks from then. Every year the Business Association of Main Street would get together to discuss the upcoming years events. Mostly it was a free for all drinking and dinner party to celebrate another year of surviving. Nonetheless, he would go with Yuuko, perhaps asking Syaoran and Sakura to babysit for him and Yuuko.

The rest of the day passed by fairly quickly and soon enough the sun was setting and the doors of the academy were being locked. Syaoran came around the hall corner greedily inhaling his water bottle before pulling off his sweat rag and wiping his forehead. Kurogane pushed the last of the dummies against the wall before turning to the sandy-brown haired young man, "Hey, do you think you could watch Mori and Kina the night of the Main Street thing?"

Syaoran snapped out of whatever daze he had been in when Kurogane spoke to him, "Wha-, oh, yeah, um, sure. We could do that though I don't know who's house we would do it at." The boy was still trying to keep it under wraps that they were living together in fear of her brother's reaction.

"Tch. Whatever. You know your a man, right? You shouldn't live in fear of her brother, he's not the one she's with," Kurogane said crossing his arms and staring down at the teen.

Syaoran looked off into the distance, silently contemplating what Kurogane had said, "I don't know what your talking about."

It was then that Sakura came in from the alley, just having finished locking up the storage shed. She quickly grabbed her bags and looked pointedly to the two men, "I'm leaving now, I'll see you both tomorrow." She looked between both of them lingering on the smaller before nodding and leaving out the side entrance.

It was the same scene that had been playing every night for the last two months and it irritated Kurogane to no end. Approximately five minutes from then Syaoran announced his leaving and walked off in the opposite direction of Sakura undoubtedly taking a different alley to meet up with her. He suddenly had the feeling that he would see those two later, not just at work but later in general, as the words he had said earlier rang in his ears. It was like a jinx.

~o~

Kurogane had been home for roughly twenty minutes before there was a knock on the door. The knock in question was almost frantic prompting Kurogane to abandon changing the batteries in Mori's toy robot. Kurogane opened the door to revel a rather raggedly breathing Syaoran.

"Kurogane-san... Touya... at the house... my clothes...virgin...theif," the teen breathed out hastily, Kurogane momentarily wondered why he was so out of breath before he realized the kid had ran all the to the house.

Kurogane's face twisted into blatant confusion, "What?"

Yuuko at some point had come up behind her husband and caught what Syaoran had said, "Isn't it obvious? Touya was there when they got home and found Syaoran's clothes and he chased the virginity robber off." Yuuko tossed her hair to her other shoulder, before walking off like she had never been there.

Kurogane looked to his apprentice desperately trying to avoid the mental image the phrase 'virginity robber' was trying to push into his mind. "Is that true?" Syaoran nodded his head and Kurogane ran his head through his hair before fishing into his pockets pulling out his car keys, "Go get in the car I'll be out in ten minutes."

A half hour later the two men were walking into some local club that neither man would go to under any circumstances, but if Kurogane had learned one thing in his many years of drinking: when planning to get plastered do it at a place where you don't go often to avoid more embarrassment. The teenie bopper techno music was bumping around them even though the club was still relatively slow. Both desperately in need of drinks for different reasons. Fai was all Kurogane could think about lately, even here where the music made his head cloudy, in fact it was borderline pathetic. The protector in him had failed, he couldn't even protect the man he loved, in that case what kind of man was he? He found himself having no drive to do anything and life was lackluster with out the blonde. He knew it would hurt but it had been so long, how could somebody who's presence was so brief in your life become a wanted tumor in your heart?

Both of the men sat at the bar contemplating life and it's mysteries and almost as if god himself was answering Kurogane a high pitched shriek rang through the air. At the other end of the bar Kurogane watched Fai emerge from a small group of men and women, seemingly out of this air, before climbing onto the bar's counter top. The blonde began turning his hips and raised his hands above his head exposing his once creamy midriff, that Kurogane remembered planting small, delicate, yet sloppy and passion filled kisses on, the blondes stomach was now bruised in the area the kidney would be. Having been in many fights in his youth as well as competitions Kurogane immediately recognized the shape of the bruise as a fist. Fai began to slowly turn in a circle on top of the bar eyes never leaving the man leaning triumphantly against the bar looking up at him a confusing mix of disgust and lust mixed on his face. Kurogane gripped his beer tightly, so much so the the bottle shattered this though did not prevent him from continuing to tighten his grip around the shards of glass in his hand until he bled.

Syaoran tore himself away from the train wreck that was Fai not knowing what to say to calm the man who's hand was dripping blood and probably need stitches. "K-kurogane-san d-don't do anything rash, you broke up with him." It didn't matter in the least to the man he was addressing who was now consumed with blind fury and rage.

It was then that Fai got off the bar and excused himself from the group, this not having escaped Kurogane, propelled the man off of his seat. Mere seconds later Kurogane was in the bathroom and the scene before him was the last thing he expected Fai was retching into the sink. It looked like in the moments it took for Kurogane to chase him the blonde had worked himself into such a frenzy that he had become sick. In the light Kurogane could see the once soft beautiful blonde hair was now limp and lifeless the only shine left in it was that of sweat, he was bone this making his face look almost hollow or corpse like, the delicate alabaster skin was dotted in bruises, and most frightening of all the low ridding jeans Fai wore gave Kurogane the most horrific view of the parallel cuts on Fai's bone like hips.

Fai looked up from the sink and saw that he was no longer alone and Kurogane was standing in the closed and now locked doorway, absolute shock written on his face. It occurred to Fai that this was the first time he had seen the man lose composure in this way before complete panic over took him and he threw up again fresh tears running down his already stained face.

"Fai, what the fuck are you doing," Kurogane chocked out. For the first time in years he felt his eyes sting.

Fai wrapped his arms around himself and stared at the suddenly weak man in front of him. He began to silently cry ghost like sobs wrecking his senses.

Kurogane advanced on the blonde causing Fai to back himself into a wall. The taller took the sickly pale face of the other in both hands spreading blood on Fai's cheek, "Why? Why are you doing this," He demanded before moving his to grab Fai's shoulders in order to shake the dazed man, "What are you doing to yourself! What is the mother fucker doing to you!"

Fai made a move to push Kurogane away only to have his wrist caught and suddenly he was angry. What right did Kurogane have to come swoop in eight months later and demand explanation but he couldn't communicate this. He began to pitifully beat Kurogane's hard chest. The man in question did nothing to stop the blonde as he only gripped the smaller man tighter, holding on for dear life.

Suddenly Fai realized he was talking, more like screaming in a shrill voice while beating his ex-lover pitifully, "I hate you! I hate you! You fucking left me! You fucking bastard! You were supposed to be there! You made me like this! Look what he's doing to me! I hate you!" Fai collapsed to the ground muttering his montage of 'I hate you' as he cried.

Kurogane was powerless to do anything but let silent self-hatred drip down his face onto the blonde's form. It seemed like forever they sat there, but it was Fai who first moved plastering himself against his wall using the last of his suddenly drained strength to slide himself up the wall. "Let me go," Fai demanded shakily of Kurogane who was blocking his path.

"Fai... don't go back to him," Kurogane begged for the first time in his life. "Hate me, kill me, hit me, just don't go back to him."

Suddenly the anger found it's venom, Fai chuckled darkly, "What do you want me to do? Be with you? I'd chose him over you any day. He may beat me, use me, but Ashura would never leave me."

Kurogane stood straight and looked at the blonde who used the opportunity to push past the larger man. Fai paused at the locked door, throwing over his shoulder, "You're a fucking idiot Kurogane, more than that you're a coward," there was a pause, "Give my best to your daughter."

And then he was gone. And Kurogane was broken.

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><p>Alright guys, I thought the angst was coming to an end to and then this was born. O.o<p>

Anyway, since it will be ending soon I wanted to ask the loyal followers of this story for two things reviews that include PREDICTIONS mostly because I know where I'm going I just need some help. If your review helps me I will give you special credit. :)

Also, I would really love one of you awesome aritst out there to draw something, ANYTHING for this story. It could be based off a certain chapter or include the story as a whole. Whatever inspires you. If you do you will be featured in ANY CHAPTER you want. Meaning if you were inspired by chapter eight I'll put the 'link' to you art in the chapter. I will also keep the link on my Author Bio page for all eternity. I personally have no art skill. TT_TT

On a different note, some of you follow me as an author so if you began reading Your Life and Mine for Soul eater I will NOT be updating until Hidden Boys is finished. I CANNOT multitask.

Let's see... anything else?

I love you all, thanks for sticking with this story. I'm trying so hard for you guys!


	12. Tap Out

AN Okay this chapter should be MUCH easier to read thanks to the talents of Mo.

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><p>The fall air was relentless against Fai's cheeks as he ran through the many back alleyways. He would not go back. (He could not go back.) He would not apologize. (He could not apologize.)This was not his fault. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. He collapsed in the middle of a dead alley and screamed. If somebody was listening, they would have sworn the scream came from somebody in great, physical pain. His screaming turned into unyielding loud sobbing. Hopelessness, faithlessness; the only emotion Fai could feel. After the confrontation with Kurogane, Fai had snapped. Again.<p>

Despite what he had said, Kurogane was still the one thing he wanted in life. Then why had he acted the way he had? Was it because he was hurt and he wanted the dark man to know just how much? Probably. Perhaps that was his only chance to talk about anything, and now it was in ruins. He could only imagine what Kurogane was like at that moment. He had looked so vulnerable. Why had Kurogane been bleeding? Fai touched his cheek and sure enough his fingertips were coated in a thin layer of red. He wiped away Kurogane's blood with his forearm. He had to talk to Kurogane. What he said was true and exactly how he felt, but this 'fuck up' had been his own doing and unlike the other man, he would not leave it as it was.

Suddenly, Fai heard gravel crunch on the behind him, turning his head he saw Ashura, his long, black hair blowing freely in the cool wind. His eyes glowering with annoyance as he looked upon the pitiful blond. Fai knew he was in trouble but he forced a smile on his face anyway as he climbed to his feet.

"A-," was all he got out of his mouth before he was on the ground with pebbles digging into his exposed flesh, again. There was the distinct iron-like taste in his mouth. He swallowed the blood filled saliva, spitting (such a disgusting habit) would only set Ashura off even more.

"Now, Fai, why did you leave?" Ashura asked. One of the worst things about this man was that his voice never wavered, whether he be upset or content; it was like constantly walking on eggshells, better yet, shards of glass. The question itself was rhetorical, Fai at least knew that much. "You embarrassed me, you worthless fuck."

Fai attempted to get himself up, "I- I'm sorry. I, um, in the bathroom." Fai couldn't form coherent sentences, he was never capable when Ashura was like this. Talking to this man when he was upset was futile.

Ashura grabbed Fai by the throat pulling him up, then bent to meet him at eyelevel the rest of the way.

"I followed you to the bathroom and the door was locked. After you came out another man followed shortly after. You were fucking cheating on me, weren't you, you whore?"

Fai, who was struggling to breathe, used his precious breath to mutter, "N-no, I would never do that." Tears from lack of oxygen, streamed down his messy face.

Ashura pushed Fai away, back to the ground where the blond gasped for much needed air.

"Get yourself up, you're lucky I'm a gentleman and won't a) force you to make it up to me in public and b) punish you further. This just means I want your best work at home".

Fai eased himself up with the help of a dumpster. Ashura approached him and cupped the bruising cheek. "You make me do this to you."

Fai felt Ashura kiss the stinging flesh before being gathered into a loveless yet apologetic hug. Fai, despite himself, hugged back. More silent tears ran down his face, he had cried too much today as it was.

Something was beginning to tick in Fai's mind.

~o~

The beeping was beginning to drive Kurogane insane. Syaoran slept in a plastic chair across from where Kurogane was seated on the examining table, disdain plastered on his face. After waiting in the waiting room for two hours, they had finally been called back behind the button operated doors. It was approaching midnight and the doctor still hadn't come.

After Fai had left, Kurogane had managed to break all the mirrors in the bathroom, creating shallow, yet painful cuts on his knuckles, as he crushed the reflective glass. If Syaoran hadn't come in and quickly dragged the temporarily weak man out to the front of the establishment, one can only assume the night would have ended with Kurogane in jail.

Kurogane put his head in his hands, disregarding the pain it caused him. It seemed like nothing made sense anymore. He had left Fai to protect him, but it seemed like he had, instead, mortally wounded the blond. How could he have been so stupid?

More importantly, he was sure there was next to nothing he could do to make it better. Perhaps, in his subconscious, he had always thought that things would ultimately work out for him and Fai, even if it was in his dreams for the most part. The realization that he would never hold the blond again made him sick.

"Fuck," Kurogane mumbled, more for the sake of vocalizing his thoughts then for a reaction.

Syaoran cracked his eye, and looked at the man. "Kurogane-san, this is all your fault."

What the kid had said was uncharacteristically, straight forward and Kurogane looked up to verify that it was, in fact, Syaoran in the room with him.

"I already fucking know that," Kurogane said through dangerously clenched teeth.

Syaoran leaned his head on the wall, closed his eyes, and smirked to himself. "Well, what are you going to do about it? Feel sorry for yourself? How uncharacteristic of you."

Kurogane was spared the embarrassment of a long, drawn out silence due to the doctor choosing that moment to walk in. Kurogane half listened to the doctor as he explained that a few of the cuts would need stitches after X-rays to make sure there was no glass still in the wounds and to see if his right wrist was fractured. The other half of Kurogane was thinking, contemplating, what was he going to do?

~o~

Fai was looking intently at the list of items in front of him. After the fight he had with Ashura barely thirty minutes ago, he had desperately looked for an excuse to get out of the house before a second onslaught of dehumanization occurred, so he compiled a list of grocery items. Most were useless things and other things he knew he wasn't supposed to eat seeing as Ashura liked him as thin as possible. Regardless he would buy them and keep them in the kitchen of the bar if he so wanted them. He was sure that he was a mess; he could feel that his face was swollen and his eyes were red and puffy, and the way he was breathing let him know that his nose was stuffed. No matter what he did, the spot where Ashura had grabbed, his hair would not go back to looking like normal hair.

Fai quickly turned the corner of the frozen food section, too focused on his list to notice the cart he was about to collide with. The loud clang of the shopping carts hitting each other caused Fai to look up to see a tall woman with long hair looking back at him. Normally, he would just apologize and move on but when he heard the unmistakable sound of a baby crying coming from her cart he panicked and launched himself into a fit of apologizes.

The woman in question reached in the car seat and adjusted the child's blanket before gently rocking the cart and cooing sweet nothings to the child. Moments later the child was quiet and sleeping again. The woman looked up to him and smiled knowingly. "It's just as much my fault as your's. I wasn't paying attention either, so stop looking so upset."

Fai couldn't see himself but he was sure that he looked even more upset after that. Suddenly, she spoke again, this time in a more soothing manner.

"If it means that much to you, how about you walk through the store with me," she stated more than asked.

Fai felt himself make an affirmative nod and he fell into step beside her. He took the few moments of silence to stare at the woman. Anyone could tell she was quite beautiful despite her sharp features. Her hair, for the most part, was long except in the front where it was cut into straight across bangs, blending into the rest of her hair. Even though Fai was positive he had never met this woman, he couldn't shake the feeling of how familiar she was. Perhaps, in was in her voice or her presence but something about her made him relax, like they had some cosmic connection.

Fai hadn't even noticed but they had been walking in silence for some time and were now in a completely different aisle. He looked up and saw the unmistakable packaging of cheap ramen and unconsciously grabbed for it only to realize that the woman was going for the same brand.

"Oh, sorry," Fai mumbled weakly. The only reason he was going to buy it was because ever since his encounter with Kurogane, just one week ago, he had began to remember stupid habits the man had, like having a secret love for this particular brand of ramen.

The women whose name he had failed to ask grabbed a few and set them in her cart and looked back up to Fai, "You like this brand too, I honestly didn't think anybody did." She smiled tight lipped at Fai.

"Well, actually, I don't like it at all. It just," he paused a moment, "It just reminded me of somebody, that's all"

"Are they the reason you're crying?" she questioned tossing a pack into Fai's cart.

Fai found himself letting out an airy laugh, "No, he's not the reason this time."

"So then what is it? A bad day?"

"I guess you could say that, but one day isn't long enough."

The woman looked over, blatant curiosity on her face, "Care to share?"

Asking that question was like opening the floodgates to the blonde's mouth and he quickly launched himself into his tale of romance and heartbreak.

"...anyway after we had, um, you know, he came back days later and just left me! The only explanation he gave me was that he had an obligation. That's his excuse for everything. I didn't see him for months after this and then when I finally did he had a baby with him, who I can only assume was his." The blue-eyed man began to cry angry tears. "And then the other day he cornered me in the bathroom and..." He broke off there and looked away. It was only then that he realized they had been standing in the same isle for close to ten minutes.

The woman's mouth was visibly ajar as she stared at the blond, though he hadn't used names there were too many things to be coincidence.

"What did you say this man's name was?" She asked quietly.

Fai whipped his eyes and sniffled indignantly. "Kurogane. Kurogane Suwa."

Fai looked over the woman he was with, who he had spilled his heart to. He didn't know why but something about her screamed 'fate' and something else about her gave him hope; almost as though she was the one person who could grant his deepest wish.

~o~

Yuuko entered the house in a rush, carrying Kina in one arm and the groceries in the other. After having heard what she had from a complete stranger, she had immediately decided that what she was about to do was clearly the only thing that could be done. She set Kina in her play pen and went upstairs where she passed Mori playing in his room. She found Kurogane exiting the shower and running a towel over his damp hair.

Upon seeing him she immediately slowed her pace and erased any sign of urgency from her face. Kurogane looked to her and looked away going back to getting ready for bed. "I want a divorce."

Kurogane's head shot up and looked over to Yuuko who stared back unmoved. "What did I do this time?" Kurogane snorted out not taking her seriously.

Yuuko disregarded his comment. "You want a divorce too. I'm just as tired as you are of pretending that our family is real."

She watched as Kurogane visibly stiffened but continued anyway. "Our marriage has held both of us back from many things for nearly ten years Kurogane. Maybe not ten years exactly, but it's certainly felt like that long. The only good thing to come out of this was Kina and Mori."

Kurogane looked out the window; he couldn't say he felt sad or disappointed just shocked, "Why are you doing this now?"

"I met Fai today." When Kurogane heard this he turned quickly. "I always thought that when you fell in love you would be the one to decide it was time to divorce, but when I heard about your relationship from him I knew you would never do it. It's time for both of us to be happy."

Yuuko approached him and in a moment on uncharacteristic kindness she hugged her best friend. Kurogane hugged her back like he had done many times before; he could feel hot tears through is shirt and his own on his face. Neither of them was crying because their marriage was ending instead both were crying was because, for the first time in years, both of them felt free.

~o~

Fai reached up to gasp the porcelain sink and used all his strength to ignore the pain in his stomach and hoist himself up. What he saw terrified him. His lip was split open and bleeding, not to mention the inside of his mouth had an open wound as well. His left eye was beginning to swell shut and bruises were already surfacing.

After he had come home, Ashura had found an excuse to beat him. Fai couldn't even recall what it had been that he had done to anger the man, but nearly an hour of screaming and a multitude of flying fists later, Ashura had walked out of his apartment, shutting off the lights behind him as he went, leaving Fai in darkness. Fai had stayed on the floor in the fetal position for a while after Ashura had left waiting for himself to stop shaking in pain. A painful eternity later, Fai tried to pick himself up only to crumple back to the floor in pain and a harsh fit of coughs that made the pain all the worse.

When the coughs had subsided, he felt something wet trickle out of his mouth and instinctively touched his fingers to the corner of his mouth. Even in the blue-black darkness he could tell the liquid was dark. Seeing that walking wasn't going to get him anywhere, Fai began to crawl to the bathroom, only to scream out in pain when his right wrist hit the ground as a means of support.

Nonetheless, he had made it and it was only when he had begun to raise himself up that he realized it was not only hard to breathe but his abdomen was on fire. He fell weakly to the ground and used his left hand to get his phone out of his back pocket. Raising his hips caused him to begin crying out of pain again. He pressed his first speed dial and waited for somebody to answer.

"Fai?" Tomoyo's voice came through the speaker in a question. Fai couldn't blame her for being surprised; he hadn't really talked to her in months, let alone called her.

Fai's body was then overtaken with a violent cough and he could taste even more blood on his tongue. "I can't move Tomo-chan."

He could hear Tomoyo move on the other end and mumble something indistinguishable under line. She was then back on the line, "Fai, I'll be there as soon as possible! Don't move, just stay calm."

Fai felt tears run down his face and sting in his swollen eye, "Tomoyo, I don't want this anymore."

Whatever chains that were holding him back had broken.

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><p>Lastly, assuming most of you lovely people will stop here before reading the next chapter so I thought I should inform you that the last chapter did actually turn out being the LAST one.<p> 


	13. Square One

So this is the last plot plot progression chapter. Are you ready for the end? People might cry.

Also Zelinxia was amazing enough to make a lovely fan art. You can find it here at:

http:/zelinxia. deviantart. com/ art/ Mori-s-Drawing-Hidden-Boys-261610807

Just remember to kill the spaces.

I don't own.

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><p>Tomoyo arrived at Ashura's apartment with her cheeks flushed pink from the cool air hitting them as she ran from the nearest parking lot to the domicile in less than three minutes. She was propelled by fear to travel to fast, the last time Fai had called her in the condition he seemed to be in he had needed a full arm cast, that was the same night Tomoyo had ever heard Fai actually blame Ashura for his actions. Whenever it came to those two, Tomoyo felt guilty because she had been the one to introduce the pair. At the time she was unaware of what Ashura's true personality was like. She threw her entire body into the door as she opened it, partially because she wasn't sure if the door was locked and partially because she couldn't slow her momentum; regardless, she was so frantic in her pursuit, it was practically involuntary. Stumbling through the door, she flailed her arms in a windmill-like fashion to regain her balance.<p>

"Fai!" she called out frantically; she squinted through the inhuman darkness that filled the apartment. Mere seconds passed and she was on high alert after not receiving a response from the injured man. Sensing that her friend was not in the current room, she moved on. Something, almost like a sixth, sense led her down the hall and into the bathroom, although it might have been that she subconsciously noticed the periodic blood droplets on the floor leading to the bathroom. An eerie, fluorescent light emanated from the bathroom at the end of the hall. Something about the scene made her slow down, as if pure uncensored horror lay beyond the door. She paused outside of the door before raising a dainty hand and pushing it open.

For a moment, Tomoyo was sure Fai was dead until she saw him suddenly shakily inhale and exhale. The bruises littering Fai's body caused Tomoyo to gasp and question the last time she had actually seen her friend. She dropped to her knees and lifted Fai's head to rest on her lap. This caused a sharp wail of pain to escape the pale lips belonging to Fai.

Fai spoke softly in long, drawn out gaps, "It's hard. To breathe."

Tomoyo began to cry at her friend's words; she had to get him to a hospital.

"Fai, I have to lift you. You have to stand. You have to try to walk, I can't carry you," she said through her sobs, as tears fell from her large, glassy eyes onto Fai's face, mingling with his own salty tears.

Fai didn't respond for what seemed a long while and Tomoyo was hit with the fear of her frien's death again, only to be expelled when Fai curtly nodded, tears running down his pain-stricken face. Tomoyo pushed herself against the wall in a crouching position and attempted to lift Fai by putting his arm around her shoulder and using all the strength she had in her legs to push up. She tried her best to ignore the animal like screams coming from Fai. As his body stretched, Fai coughed up blood. Tomoyo collapsed to the ground with the realization that she couldn't move him. She began to sob silently with Fai collapsed on to her lap.

Then Fai spoke almost inaudibly, "I love you, Tomoyo."

The small girl felt the man's body go limp and nearly lifeless. Thankfully, she could make out short yet deep breaths signally he had only passed out and not actually died.

"Fai! No! Stay awake!" She took his face in her hands and put her forehead to his, "Please. Please don't leave me, don't leave us, we need to Fai."

Tomoyo pulled out her cell phone to do the most obviously course of action, to call for an ambulance, but she was hit with the painful realization that the closest hospital was one town over and it would take nearly an hour before he would get to the hospital. They needed to leave the apartment to shorten the wait time for the ambulance. She put down her own phone and reached for Fai's so she could call the only other person who cared about this man as much as she did.

The phone rang twice before someone picked up.

"Hello," the gruff voice said, obviously trying to conceal his excitement.

Tomoyo hiccupped into the receiver.

"Kurogane-san, I can't lift him by myself. He keeps coughing up blood and he can't move. I tried to help him but he's just too heavy!"

Everything Tomoyo had said came out much more frantic and hopeless sounding than she had intended. She heard the rustle of cloth and what sounded like a woman's voice in the background.

Kurogane then spoke, "I'm getting in the car, where is this place?"

"It's, um, Gull. Gull something. I can't remember right now," she responded, her own stress catching up with her.

"Okay, I know the place. Is the idiot awake?"

Tomoyo looked over to her friend causing more tears and sobs as she responded, "No."

"Shit," Kurogane mumbled. "Now tell me, is the fucking bastard there," Kurogane asked not hiding the venom or murderous intent in his under tone.

"No," Tomoyo chocked out. Her heart beat in her ears after realizing that Ashura could return at any moment.

"Alright I'm almost there, go outside and wait for me," Kurogane ordered. In the background, Tomoyo could hear the sound of a car door closing.

By the time she had gotten to the door, she could see Kurogane in the small concrete courtyard waiting for her. Upon seeing her, he sprinted to the apartment and rushed through the door, past her, and down illuminated hallway. Kurogane looked back at Tomoyo before entering the bathroom where he assumed Fai was and threw her his keys.

"Go start my car," he said.

Tomoyo rushed out the door when Kurogane opened the door. Having prepared himself for the worse, Kurogane was happy to find the idiot was still breathing. He knelt on both knees next to the blonde and slapped the pale, abused cheek lightly, trying to rouse the blond. When this produced no response, Kurogane let out a huge sob before putting his head to Fai's.

He cried to Fai's unconscious form, "Idiot, why would you do this to me? No, I'm the idiot all this is my fault."

This was the only sentimental moment he allowed himself before lifting the blonde's unmoving frame, which was considerably lighter than he remembered and carried him out to Tomoyo and the awaiting car.

Unknown to Kurogane, somewhere in the depths of Fai's mind the blond was crying too.

~o~

The car ride to the hospital had been long and was even more so by the need for Fai to get there, and though Kurogane never would have expected it, Tomoyo had an immense amount of skill when it came to speeding and offensive driving. He had stayed in the back of the car the entire trip holding Fai's head still, instinctively running his thumbs about the pale cheek bones periodically wiping away what seemed to be continuous wet streams while Tomoyo swerved in and out of the thin traffic. All the while Kurogane silently cried, letting hot tears run down his face into Fai's hair.

When they had arrived doctors and nurses surrounded them and before long they instructed him to set Fai on a gurney, which he reluctantly did. After doing so, Fai promptly coughed spewing small micro balls of blood in to the air which landed on his own face; this prompted one of the nurses to cut off Fai's shirt, using some kind of steel hospital scissor. One across the lobby could hear an audible gasp come from a few of the nurses and doctors who were obviously not expecting to see such a large bruise covering the right side of Fai's rib cage. A few of the nurses looked accusingly towards Kurogane, who was standing with his mouth agape. How many of the blonde's ribs were broken?

Kurogane was brought out of his daze when he caught wind of what one of the doctors had spewed out in some doctor lingo that amounted to something about internal bleeding and fear of punctured organs.

As the doctors began to take Fai away behind the button operated doors, both Kurogane and Tomoyo went to follow suit only to be stopped and pushed into the waiting room. They were anxious to hear news from any doctor reporting on Fai's condition.

Hours passed by in a slow, seemingly endless torture. Neither party spoke except when Tomoyo decided to go get coffees from the café; even then the conversation was instinct.

The entire wait Kurogane hardly moved a muscle, maintaining his position in which he was resting his head in his hands, which were supported by his elbows, which rested upon his knees. In his mind, he couldn't stop blaming himself for everything that had happened to Fai. These thoughts were more prevalent after Fai had yelled at him in the restroom all those nights ago. The usually senseless blonde had been right, Kurogane was a coward and now he knew it. He was scared to take a leap of faith. Instead, he had just stopped and tapped out of the game before either of them could get hurt. Or at least that's how he now perceived his actions, though obviously his actions had not achieved this.

Tomoyo returned with two cups of coffee. She handed one to Kurogane as she took a seat on the edge of the chair next to the large man, crossing her ankles under the chair. She had been watching him the entire time as he wallowed in self pity. Sure, she had her own amount of anger towards the man, he had promised not to hurt Fai, but Tomoyo lacked a mean bone in her body. Thus, she found herself worrying not only for her friend, but for Kurogane as well.

Kurogane took a sip of the warm liquid in his hand and immediately grimaced.

"What the hell is this girly shit?" He growled after chocking down the coffee.

Tomoyo lowered her own cup and held it her lap. Despite the man's harsh tone and the heavy circumstances, she smirked to herself.

"When I asked what you wanted you said 'I don't care', so I got you the same thing as myself."

From the corner of her eye she watched the man take another sip; she assumed he was too occupied with his thoughts to care anymore that his previous statement.

"Kurogane-san, stop blaming yourself. This isn't your doing. Ashura is the one who hurt Fai. You need to recognize that," she said with the intentions of calming him.

Kurogane snorted darkly.

"That's easy for you to say. You didn't promise to protect him or be with him, only to send him off to this place," Kurogane said, gesturing to the room around them.

"Everybody breaks promises. What's important now, though, is that you are here for him now."

With that said, the two sat in more silence, both sipping idly at their coffees until a doctor came. The doctor directed both of them into a room on the other side of the doors, allowing the three privacy. The doctor explained that Fai would be all right, despite his numerous injuries, which included a few broken ribs, a broken wrist, and a punctured lung – which had been the cause of the internal bleeding.

The doctor paused from his recap of Fai's condition to remove his spectacles.

"We also found numerous bruises about his body; some were fairly recent while others are almost healed. We have reason to suspect he is being abused by someone; not only that, but also there are great amounts of self inflicted injuries on his body."

The doctor replaced his glasses on his pointed nose.

"Once he wakes up, we will assess the best course of action for all of the problems.

Kurogane's head shot up from its place in his hands.

"What do you mean by 'self-inflicted'?"

The doctor stiffened. "Perhaps I've said too much. You can go visit your friend now, the nurses will tell you where he is."

The doctor turned on his heels and left the small room.

~o~

Outside the window the first evidence of day began casting long shadows on the ground. Tomoyo slept curled up in the window seat of Fai's hospital room. The doctors had moved Fai out of the ICU some hours ago, and now Kurogane was the only one of the three awake.

The doctors had said that Fai wouldn't wake up for hours, but Kurogane refused to move from his place at Fai's bedside. Even if he had moved, or left as one of the nurses recommended, it's not like he would have been able to sleep anyway, with all the worry coursing through him.

Kurogane found himself constantly checking the heart rate monitor and taking comfort in the steady beeping. He pulled out his phone, deciding it best to call Yuuko. She deserved to know what had happened. He had left so suddenly from the old fashioned soda shop they had decided to visit after agreeing to divorce. He had assured her that he would call and explain his departure as soon as possible, now that the sun was rising; it seemed as good a time as ever.

The phone rang a few times before Yuuko picked up.

She said in a delirious voice, "In the twelve hours you've been gone, you only found time to call _now_?"

"It's not entirely my fault, hospitals are a very stressful place," Kurogane retorted evenly.

This seemed to capture Yuuko's attention. "What do you mean? Why are you at the hospital?"

Kurogane paused a moment to check his surroundings. Everything was in check: Tomoyo was asleep and Fai was breathing.

"Fai's boyfriend beat him close to death. Tomoyo called me from Fai's phone because she couldn't move him."

He could hear Yuuko sit up on the other end of the phone.

"Stop blaming yourself, it's annoying. Don't give me any of your bullshit either. Sure, what happened between you two earlier in your relationship was your fault, but you already know that and you have accepted it. This incident was out of your control."

Kurogane laughed a bit.

"I was already told all this by the Tomoyo girl I mentioned, except, it helps more hearing it come from you."

"That's how it should be," Yuuko replied in a self satisfied tone.

"Yeah, I guess I need that annoying bitch quality in order for stuff to get through to me."

Kurogane could sense Yuuko's smirk through the phone.

"Shut it, you brute. Anyway, I have to go, Kina's crying." Yuuko paused a moment, "What do you want me to tell Mori?"

Kurogane sighed. "Tell him that I went to help my friend. We'll tell him what we were planning on last night, when I get back."

The ex-couple said their goodbyes. Suddenly, Kurogane felt very alone.

~o~

Darkness surrounded Fai. Where was he? It seemed to him that he was floating in a huge gelatinous substance. He looked around only to find nothing. Then, there was a blinding light. The light started dimming to a tolerable level, and suddenly, the darkness became unbelievably cold. The only warmth radiated from the far off circle of light. He began to slowly swim toward the light. It became easier to move as time passed, because the thick Jell-O like substance became thinner. He reached the light and grabbed at the circular edges to pull his self through and into the lighted world.

Fai's eyes fluttered open. For a moment, he panicked before the events of the previous day came flooding back to him. Once he and Tomoyo collapsed to the ground Fai had become certain that he would die there, in Tomoyo's lap, on the cold linoleum floor. And he had been fine with that thought. But he wasn't dead. Sure, he might have been in pain and unbelievably tired, but he was still breathing.

Fai looked to his right in search for Tomoyo, who he had assumed would have stayed even if the world was raining hell outside. He found her, but not before he saw Kurogane.

Fai's eyes went wide with shock.

He stuttered out, "Kurogane?"

Perhaps he had died, but it that case why was Kurogane there?

Kurogane snapped his head in the direction the voice, only to feel his stomach drop. In all the time he had to prepare for this moment, he hadn't. Now, he was at a loss as to what to say.

"Why are you here?" Fai asked once he could steady his voice.

Kurogane swallowed and willed his stomach to stop feeling sick.

"Tomoyo called me because she wasn't able to move you," he explained quietly.

Silence passed between the two.

"I'll leave if you want me to," Kurogane said.

Fai ignored the question, not trusting himself to answer level headily.

"How long have you been here, Kurogane?"

"Nearly thirteen hours now. As long as Tomoyo," Kurogane replied, motioning to the sleeping girl.

Hearing his full name had cut him like daggers. He would have given anything to go back nine months, but he had made his decisions. All he could do now was move forward. What could he say now?

"Yuuko and I are getting a divorce," He said after becoming overwhelmed by the silence.

Fai turned his head back to Kurogane. After hearing the news, he was genuinely surprised, but he remained quiet. The man before him looked more broken than he probably was at the moment.

"She came home from the store yesterday and told me she wanted a divorce. Of course, this was after she had talked to you."

Fai inhaled sharply. The woman in the store was Yuuko and the baby there had been Kurogane's. Despite the undertone of relief in the larger mans voice Fai couldn't help but feel partially responsible. In a way Fai felt like he owned him.

"I'm in an abusive relationship." Fai said returning the favor he felt he owed.

Kurogane looked up at the blonde who was staring back at him.

"Yuuko and I had a baby. Her name is Mujakina Jiyu Suwa, but we just call her Kina."

Fai smiled at the thought of Kurogane holding his baby girl. He could fully imagine the contrast between her angelic nature and his rough appeance and disposition.

"I started hurting myself," Fai announced.

Kurogane rubbed Fai's knuckles as reassurance to the blonde. He realized that he hadn't stopped holding Fai's pale hand since Fai had woken up.

Fai looked to his knuckles then back to Kurogane.

"I stare at the Cat Eye advertisement in the phone book," Kurogane said to show that Fai's self harming didn't matter.

"I still think about you."

"I think I still love you."

Fai pulled his hand away from Kurogane and stared up at the ceiling after having heard what Kurogane said.

"I don't know if I can say the same. I realized that what I said to you the other day is how I felt and since I admitted it to myself, I'm not sure if I can go back."

Kurogane felt his heart sink into his stomach but continued on, "I don't want you to go back from that. I can't blame you if you never want to see me again or if you can't forgive me. I never gave you an explanation for what I did. I had just convinced myself, once I found out Yuuko was pregnant, that it would be selfish of me to keep our relationship a secret or to expect you to be okay with that."

Fai looked away from the man and sifted through his thoughts before he looked back at the man again.

"I forgive you, but I can't be with you. I can't trust you."

Kurogane felt his heart implode, he wasn't sure if it registered on his face but the sudden feeling of hopelessness crept up on him and ate him.

"On the plus side, Kurogane," Fai said sleepily, "trust can be earned. On top of that, I need to be better for myself before I can think about loving you again."

Kurogane smirked to himself and looked at Fai. His blue eyes and pale face had seemed to gain some color.

"So, where does that leave us then?" Kurogane asked with hope growing in his mind.

Fai smiled sheepishly, "Square one."

* * *

><p>So this was it. This is the end. There will be an epilouge but not for a while. Thank you all for reading this and sticking with it. Really.<p>

So when I wrote the above authors notes I was in a hurry thus they mught not be what people expected as far as explanation... so here's a second one.

Yes this IS the last chapter of the story line, but there will be an Epilouge in the nearish future to tie everything up. I personally think that dragging it out any further would have been TOO much. Considering I originally sought out to make this a death fic I think this is a good compromise for all the people who wanted a happy ending. If I had dragged this story out it would have gotten way to repetitive and I couldn;t bring myself to do that.

Also since I was rushed earlier I didn't get to p[roperlly thank all the people who have followed the story. You guys propelled me to keep the story going. I am also happy to say that I got no flames for this story, and hope I didn't just jinx myself.

I do plan of writing another KuroFai fic in the future but currently I want to focus on one I am writing for Soul Eater. I put in on hold until I finished this fic and now that it's at the point where the story line is finished I can focus on something else. I guess the more comments I get that actually want and need the epilouge the faster it will come out but it's not a priority.

By the way I cried writing this chapter, especially the scene between Fai and Tomoyo, am I lame?

So thank you all for reading Hidden Boys, I really hope you enjoyed it through all the updates, spelling errors, and rants such as this. But I guess until my next KuroFai fic, (cough epilogue cough), this is ColorMeApathy/Mindless signing out.


	14. Tag Eight

A/N: The epilogue that was promised long ago it now here. It's a mild story line that recaps what has happened in the time that has passed since the hospital till this point in time.

I want to address some time line issues. Mori was born in May and turned four after Kuro broke up with Fai. The beginning of Fai and Kuro's relationship takes place between February and March. Kina was born in August, roughly. Yuuko and Kuro got divorced October/November. In Hidden Boys I had a really hard time keeping track of my time line so I usually just over looked it but it became important here and I was forced to sort it out. So regardless of what was mentioned before this is what the time line SHOULD have worked out to be though I will admit it's probably not consistent. You might notice here that Mori is 'five' years older, it just looks that way because May has passed and Mori had celebrated his birthday and Kina is yet to age another year.

So without further to say here or to clarify this is it. Excuse me while I go cry.

* * *

><p>The sun's was bright and the temperature in the air had taken a turn for the upper seventies, a sign that the beginning of summer fast approaching. Kurogane pushed his sunglasses farther up the bridge of his nose and looked back to the large campus. It was hard to believe this was only an elementary school, at least this section was. It was set more inland than Nihon and thus the campus was nestled in the green hills of the land. Off to the right of the huge, brick, singular building that was the elementary school, Kurogane was standing in front of was the much larger, multi-building, high school campus, and to the left was the similar middle school. Children were still flowing out of the elementary building: girls wearing blue and green plaid jumpers, boys wearing blue slacks and white shirts.<p>

He began to wonder where his children were, seeing as on normal occasions both were rather punctual. He soon got his answer when a group of children started to form a circle in the field that separated the elementary and middle school.

"Dammit," Kurogane growled, pushing off his car and hurrying to the growing crowd of children. Some of the children saw an adult approaching and chose to retreat, but that didn't stop more from coming.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kurogane noticed that administrators had taken notice and were advancing on the quickly growing crowd with mild concern. He knew who was at the center of the circle and by god, he was hoping to avoid a run in with the less than diplomatic administration. It seemed every time he and Yuuko were called in for a meeting, the dean, a man that went by Dr. Reid, was intent on irking Kurogane. But the devoted father remained quiet and held back his temper, though the same couldn't be said for the child he knew he would find at the center of the crowd. He understood what a great opportunity this school provided for his children, so he let Dr. Reid accuse him of teaching his children that violence was always the answer and imply that the children's problem steamed from their broken home life, though never in front of the children.

Kurogane pushed the children aside, paying them no mind; he was intent on getting to the center where two children were rolling around. The smaller of the two gained the upper hand and pinned the other larger child to the ground before slamming a fist square in their jaw. The smaller then seized the kid by his collar and brought him so his face met their's.

"Say that again!" the smaller demanded. "I dare you."

"Kina," Kurogane said sternly as he finally reached his daughter and scooped her up by the waist.

"Put me down, Daddy!" The seven year old girl flailed in his arms, obviously irritated. Eventually, she stopped and turned her head to glare at her father. Her bluntly cut bob swished in her face as her scowl deepened.

Suddenly, the crowd began to disperse, not only because the fight was over, but because Dr. Reid was fast approaching. The other participant in the fight also tried to run but he was caught by his ear by one of the campus monitors.

"Mr. Suwa," Dr. Reid greeted in an all to familiar and exasperated tone. He removed his glasses and sighed. "Let's cut to the chase, Miss Mujakina."

"Kina," the small girl cut in. Having lost some of her edge, Kurogane released his grip and his daughter's feet touched back to ground. She stared at her shoes, an irritated expression on her face.

The dean sighed yet again. "Yes, Miss _Kina_," he stated pointedly. "What provoked the fight _this _time?"

Kurogane saw the girl clutch her fists and shake her head at the grass. "Kina," he prompted his daughter sternly.

"He started it," she stated simply as she continued to refuse to meet the stern gazes of the adults.

Dr. Reid sighed once more, a habit that Kurogane found unbelievably annoying. "Is this true, Mister Kyle?"

The kid known as Kyle pulled away from the person holding him. "Of course not. Everybody knows Kina's a liar."

"Yes, that very well may be, but I have to at least ask for both sides of the story," the dean responded, replacing his glasses.

Kina looked up indignantly, glancing between her father and Dr. Reid. "I am not a liar!" She said, trying to defend herself.

Kurogane clamped his hands over Kina's ears. "Don't you dare speak to my daughter that way. You have no evidence of what happened and yet you are willing to believe that kid without a second thought."

Dr. Reid looked up with a content, yet cynical expression, "Please do control your temper, Mr. Suwa."

Kurogane released Kina's ears and pulled her closer to him.

"Seeing as it's Friday, and none of us have the patience to deal with this right now, we will discuss this on Monday. Remember Kina, your step father may have the money to send you here, but that's not always going to factor into our decisions as to whether or not you remain on campus." With that, the two administrators walked away.

Kurogane felt himself tense before thinking better of calling the man out again. He took Kina's hand and began leading her towards the car. "You know better than that, Kina."

"I know." Kina thought for a moment as she stared at her moving feet. "But he deserved it."

Kurogane frowned; a gut feeling was telling him that this issue was not going to be easy to deal with. "It's not a matter of deserving it or not. You are not supposed to use violence unless it's in self defense. And don't try to tell me that scrawny kid threw the first punch."

Kina huffed and released her father's hand, no longer wanting to hold it.

Kurogane rolled his eyes and looked away as he too leaned on the car as they waited for Mori. "Three more things."

Kina didn't respond for a moment. "Fine."

"One, we're going to have to tell your mother."

"But-!"

"Let me finish, Kina. Two, you are going to have to apologize to that Kyle kid."

"But-!"

Kurogane cut her off with a menacing side glance. "And three, you owe me extra warm-ups for the next two, no, three weeks."

Kina pouted towards the ground, "You're not fair."

Kurogane couldn't help but smirk; he was one of those doting parents who thought his children were cute when angry. "One more thing."

"You said three, not four," the young girl muttered.

"You are going to have to explain yourself to me later."

The girl shook her head and wiped her eyes, no doubt tearing up from anger.

Kurogane looked and scanned the crowd for his preteen son. Mori was late. It was then that Kurogane saw his glasses-wearing-twelve-year-old son carrying a large volcano model. It was an understatement to say that the boy looked upset. The man rushed over and took the volcano from his son, who glared at his father.

"You were supposed to meet me at the science room! You promised! That thing is really heavy!" the young boy whined.

"Mori, I'm sorry. I was busy taking care of your sister."

Mori turned to his little sister. "You got into another fight?"

She looked at the ground in response.

"I told you to just let what he was saying go! Fighting about it will just draw more attention to it!"

"Shut up, Mori! You weren't there!" Kina shouted at her brother.

"Mori. Kina," Kurogane ordered. "Both of you, in the car now. And don't you let me hear either of you 'til well after we get to the dojo." Kurogane put the volcano in the back with his daughter and Mori climbed in the front seat. He slammed his door in irritation. Dammit, why didn't parenting come with a manual? It was dumb to think that both of them would always be so complacent; eventually they had to grow up.

~o~

Kurogane wrapped a sweat rag around his neck and took a drink of water. Over on the other side of the dojo, his two children were conversing with other students and all seemed right between the two now. Though it was now nearly five hours after the two had initially fought and things had, had a chance to cool down since then. Kurogane had later found out that Mori had been upset after school because he hadn't added the right amount of baking soda and so his volcano leaked more than exploded. However, he had yet to figure out what Kina had been upset about, and no matter how much he prodded either of them, both refused to give him answers.

After he and Yuuko had divorced nearly seven years ago, things got tough as far as time with children went. For a while they had stayed in the same house, he in the guest bedroom her in the master. Neither had, had anywhere else to go. Eventually, though, they decided to sell the house. Since it had been Kurogane's parents that bought the house for them, Yuuko had thought in fair that Kurogane keep the money. She had moved into her mother's house. But still, the most difficult part of it all had been arranging time with the children once they were no longer housemates. When the children were younger it was easier to manage time with them day to day, basing the time each parent had on the time they had free.

About a year after they moved out of the house, Yuuko remarried her lawyer, Clow. So, when Mori started the first grade, Clow paid the tuition for the private school. It was then they had decided to schedule Mori and Kina's time, so they split the week in half and alternated Mondays. And since Kurogane and Yuuko where on good terms, the holidays weren't a problem.

It was then that Syaoran came up to his employer, effectively bringing him out of his wandering mind. "Kurogane-san," he greeted. "I was wondering if you need me to stay for closing. Sakura's been having a tough day with Taka-kun."

Kurogane snorted; sometimes he wondered how his two apprentices had managed to procreate. Nevertheless, he understood all too well the difficulties of both fatherhood and grumpy children. "Yeah, just promise you'll never ask me to babysit."

"Hai," Syaoran nodded with a smile and left with the children Mori and Kina had been talking to out the side entrance.

Mori turned the lock on the main entrance as Kina went to the gate and began pulling it closed. Kurogane had successfully instilled the value that the dojo was a home they must protect, and therefore, the two had their share of responsibilities at closing.

After everything was in order, all three of them got into the car and headed home. The house Kurogane had bought for them after selling the old one was a split level, ranch style home with a spacious backyard, and four bedrooms.

He pulled up to his home and smiled. The lights in the kitchen were on and standing over the kitchen sink was a certain blond. Kurogane watched as Fai washed brightly colored peppers before looking up and smiling out the window. Both of the children scrambled out of the car and rushed inside.

Kurogane, on the other hand, exited the car slowly, watching the scene unfold from the driveway. His children hugged Fai and smiled up at him as he probably asked them questions about their day. It had taken five years for Fai to take him back after Kurogane had initially broken up with him.

There had been many reasons to wait for so long. Fai had wanted to get better for himself and though it was hard and at times he faltered, he had accomplished his goal. He had learned to be both emotionally independent and dependent in healthy ways. It had taken a lot of soul searching and years of therapy, but he had come out of it a better more rounded individual.

Kurogane had wanted for the children to grow older before anything concrete happened between the two. During that five year period kisses had been stolen and their bond strengthened. He had also learned to do things specifically to make him happy and not constantly focusing on the obligations of his life. The best thing to come out of that long waiting period had been the friendship between the two. Their romantic relationship was no longer based on less than a month's worth of sexual tension, but instead, years of confidence and confiding in the other.

Kurogane entered the house and went to the kitchen as the children were exiting off to their respective rooms or the fourth bedroom that doubled as a toy and game room.

"Kuro, you're home!" Fai said throwing his hands in the air before drying them on his apron.

The taller of the two set his backpack down on the counter before gathering the blonde into a hug. He settled his hands low on Fai's waist before kissing him in greeting. They continued to hold each other in the middle of the kitchen.

"What's bothering you?" Fai suddenly asked, causing Kurogane to pull away and look down at the shorter man.

"What do you mean?"

The blond sighed dramatically and tucked a loose piece of hair over his ear. "Kuro, I've known you almost eight years now, two of which we have been together. I can tell when you're upset."

"I'm not _upset_," Kurogane mumbled. "It's just that Kina got into another fight and then immediately after her and Mori were fighting about the fact that she got into a fight. I feel like I'm missing something."

Fai guided the taller man over to one of the dining table chairs located on the other side of the kitchen bar. He pushed the other down so he was sitting, before walking to the back of the chair as he began to work Kurogane's shoulder muscles.

"You're going to burn whatever it is your making," the darker haired man stated simply as he let himself be treated.

Fai made a negative sound. "It's already done. I was just cutting peppers to sprinkle over top. Did you talk to her about it?"

Kurogane snorted. "Yeah, she refused to talk about it with me though. It seems like Mori knows what the issue is and he won't talk about it either," Kurogane said, begrudgingly.

"Have you thought about calling Yuuko? Maybe Kina talked about it with her," Fai suggested.

"Tch. I don't want to call her, she's just going to make sexual implications as always. Sometimes I think she's happier about us being together than I am."

Fai made mock crying sounds. "Kuro-chi is being mean! Are you trying to say that you don't want me here?" The blond whipped his head around so he was looking at the other man as he made puppy eyes accompanied by a frown.

The larger man snorted again. "I thought you were done with the nicknames." Another good thing to come out of the time they had spent growing was Fai had stopped with the suffixes. Both felt that 'Kuro' was perfectly acceptable and more intimate than any other name. Now the suffixes were just used to tease, which meant they were still used fairly often.

Fai laughed. "They only come back when you're being mean."

Kurogane thought a moment. "I do have to have Kina call her anyway, so she can tell her mother." There was a short lag in conversation. "Fucking Reid caught her too. She's going to get herself suspended."

Fai stopped massaging and draped his arms over Kurogane's shoulders. "Don't worry, we'll get through this." With that Fai kissed the other cheek and walked back to the kitchen. "Go get ready for dinner, it'll be done soon." Fai thought a moment, "Did you want me to try talking to her?"

Kurogane stood and stretched, "Not yet, I want to see if I can get it out of her first."

~o~

The four household members sat around a simple, square, oak wood table. Dinner was unusually quiet. Normally Mori and Kina would be hard to shut up but the two had emerged from the game room with extremely thick tension between them. Now, the tension plagued the dinner table.

Kurogane was becoming increasingly irritated by his children's irritation. "Mori, Kina, why are you two so quiet?"

Neither spoke for a moment. "Maybe if Kina could just deal with it, it wouldn't be like this," Mori said under his breath.

"Maybe if you weren't such a jerk!" Kina screamed back as she stood.

Mori threw his fork down on his plate as he too stood. "You should have just did what I told you to!"

"That's easy for you to say!"

Kurogane and Fai both stared in shock. The two usually got along so well that it was like they were best friends. Nowadays, though, the age gap of four years had become a bigger deal and whatever problem Kina was dealing with was putting strain on both of them.

"Both of you sit right now," Kurogane commanded. Both children sat immediately and stared at their respective plates in anticipation of a lecture.

The large man inhaled deeply; beside him he felt Fai stare at him waiting to see what he would do next. "Neither of you are allowed to talk to the other that way and you know it," he began drawing out every word to punctuate his point. Whatever was bothering the two would be put to a stop now. "Kina," Kurogane addressed her sternly, "what is the problem?"

Horror struck Kurogane's face as she began to cry. Kina was not one to cry unless deeply troubled. Suddenly, she sprang from the table. "The problem is that Fai isn't a girl!" And with that she ran to her room, the echo of her door slamming resounded through the house.

Kurogane gulped and looked to Mori who scowled through his glasses. He pushed his chair back. "Great. You made her cry, Dad." He proceeded to remove himself from the table and stomp off to his own room.

The now confused and deeply troubled father sat back down. He instinctively took Fai's hand and said nothing, having been shocked into silence.

The blond looked not only troubled but also greatly hurt. He squeezed the larger and calloused hand. "Well, that was unpleasant." He laughed nervously. One habit he hadn't been able to successfully get rid of was hiding behind a smile, though the meaning of doing such had changed. When he had problems or issues he openly talked about them, but sometimes the words or the memories were just to sudden and up went the barrier at least until he was ready to talk.

"Fai," Kurogane whispered in almost a worried yet warning tone.

The man in question breathed. "I'm fine. She just surprised me is all." They sat in silence a moment both trying to come up with a solution. "We both knew something like this would happen eventually."

Kurogane released Fai's hand and ran his palms over his face. "Yeah, I know. But she's so young. What the fuck do seven year olds know about sexuality? It shouldn't even _fucking matter._"

Fai gave him a look of doubt, "C'mon. You knew you were at least different at that age. I know I did."

The taller man laughed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I just want to believe they're too innocent for the name calling to start, or at least too naïve to let the thought get under their skin."

Fai sighed. "What do you want to do about it?"

"I guess I should talk to her," Kurogane grumbled. He had never been good with touchy-feely topics.

"I think I should," the blond stated abruptly.

Kurogane looked at him. "Are you sure?"

Fai laughed. "Of course. On one hand, you wouldn't be able to not blush to save your life." He emphasized his point by pinching the other's cheek. "On the other hand, it seems it's me she had the problem with, not you," he added solemnly. "Also, you should talk to Mori-kun. Based on what he said, it seems like this has happened to him before. We just didn't know because he didn't inherit your temper, unlike Kina-chan."

Kurogane stood and helped the smaller up. "I guess you're right." He groaned heavily, "I don't want to do this."

Fai laughed. "Welcome to fatherhood. You're going to be doing it the rest of your life."

"If anybody should be being 'welcomed' to fatherhood, it should be you. You're newer at this than me."

"Please, I'm far better off than you. At least, I'll be able to say the word menstruation when the time comes."

Just thinking of the word and Fai's implication made him blush.

Fai satisfied with himself turned and walked to Kina's room. He knocked on her door softly before opening it. Kina sat on her pink four-post twin bed, despite her temper and boyish tendencies she was a soft girl at heart. She was cross legged in the middle of the mattress, looking at a doll that Mori had gotten her years before she could even remember. "Kina-chan?" He ventured quietly.

The small girl turned her entire body so she was facing the wall to her left. She stared out the window at the backyard. "I don't want to talk about it," she grumbled.

Fai took a deep breath. He had been in these children's lives long before him and Kurogane had finally settled into a relationship, he was close with them. He cared for them like his own, and a parent never let their child battle problems like this alone. "I think it's important that we do."

"Yeah? Well I don't," she replied

The blond smiled, she really did have her father's grumpy personality. Regardless, opening the lines of communication was key here. He hadn't come in with a plan but now seeing that the girl was more or less embarrassed at her outburst, Fai thought he should address that first. "Kina-chan, it's okay to have questions about the relationship me and your father have. We're not 'conventional'."

Kina looked over her shoulder. "I don't even know what that means."

Fai walked into the room and closed the door behind him. "It means that me and Kuro have a different relationship than most couples. But that's okay."

"Because you're boyfriend-boyfreind, instead of boyfriend-girlfriend?" Kina asked to clarify as she sniffled.

Fai smiled warmly. "Yep."

Kina thought a moment, "Why are you my dad's boyfriend and not his girlfriend?"

Fai took a seat on the edge of Kina's bed, not too close, but far enough away so that she still had space. "Because I'm a boy. And there is nothing wrong with two men being together. Or two women. Or one of each."

The young girl pulled her knees to her chest. "That's not what the kids at school say," she nearly whispered.

"What do they say to you, Kina-chan?" Fai asked soothingly, scooting closer to the miniature human.

She paused for a second. "Sometimes they're really mean. One time this girl told me that people can't have two dads. She said it wasn't fair because she doesn't have any. And then other people say mean things to me and Mori. They call my dad a faggot. I didn't even know what that _means. _So, I asked Mori and he said it was a bad word stupid people use to talk about gay people. And then, I had to ask him what gay people were."

Fai couldn't help but chuckle. "So then-"

"I wasn't done," Kina said cutting Fai off. "So, Mori told me that you and daddy were gay and then we had this whole big talk about it. And in the end, I figured out that those kids were calling my dad mean things. And Mori told me that being gay wasn't bad and I tried to tell them that, but it just got worse! Mori told me to ignore them because the more I talked about it, the worse it would get. But it makes me feel bad. Like you loving daddy is wrong. So, I thought things would just be easier if you were a girl."

"So, then today you got in a fight because of that?"

Kina made a pouting face, "He called my dads faggots."

Fai pulled Kina into his lap and squeezed her tight. The young one was just confused and getting mixed signals between home and school. He was relieved that her issue hadn't been because they were gay, but tht, at the root, was because she found other people stupid. "Some people are just big fatheads. People can fall in love with anybody. A boy. A girl. It doesn't matter because love doesn't know gender."

"Fai-mommy, do you love my daddy?" Kina asked after they had sat in silence.

The man in question blushed but proudly answered. "Yes, I do. Very much."

Kina smiled to herself. "What do I do now?"

"I'll talk to your dad about it, we'll figure this out don't worry. Just remember, we love you very much."

Eventually, Kina fell asleep in Fai's arms. He laid her down, thinking to himself it was a bit early to sleep, but let her sleep anyway. He hit the lights on his way out before closing the door behind himself. He walked to the end of the hall to the bedroom he shared with Kurogane. Said man laid face down in the bed.

Fai crawled on to the bed and plopped down on top of Kurogane's back.

The larger man 'oofed' at the extra weight. "What the hell are you doing, idiot?"

"Kuro-chi looked so lonely so I thought I'd keep him company."

Kurogane turned his head to the side and looked up at the blond. "I wasn't lonely. How did things go with Kina?"

"Some kids at school are using the f-double-g word. She got angry, and that's why she's been in so many fights lately."

Kurogane made an affirmative grunt. "I thought as much after what she said."

Fai thought a second. "If you're not lonely, then did Mori-kun say something to embarrass you?"

"I went in there with an attack plan and then you know what the kid said to me?"

The smaller raised an eyebrow the other to continue.

"He told me 'Dad, I already know what you're doing in here. I don't care that you're gay. Some people are idiots and don't understand that it's okay. And Kina is just dealing with those people.' So then, I asked him why he was so upset about what Kina did and he said 'Because the way she deals with it is wrong and just makes her look wrong, when she's right. And it'll just make it worse for her.' So, I asked if he ever had people say things to him and he just said, 'Yep.' And then we were done; considering I didn't know how to continue. They grow up so fast."

"So, you came in here to be grumpy," Fai clarified.

"I am not grumpy," the darker man retaliated before flipping Fai over so they were lying next to each other. His hand settled low on Fai's hip where his thumb found its way under the waistband of Fai's jeans. Both knew what Kurogane was doing, he was feeling for the singular crater of a scar that still remained. The rest had faded with time, but this one had been deep enough to sink permanently. He looked at the Fai's pale face that was looking between them studying Kurogane's movements. After a moment the blond looked up as well. It had been years since Kurogane had vocally apologized to Fai for the past, but his expression said everything.

Fai smiled solemnly and kissed the larger man gently on the nose.

"I have something for you," Kurogane said suddenly, he removed his hand and reached into his pocket extracting Fai's car keys. He handed them to Fai who looked at them questioningly.

"Oh, you got me keys!"

Kurogane frowned, "You know exactly what I got you."

The blond ran his fingers over the eight circular tags on his key ring. Earlier that day there had only been seven. Each marked the time passed since he had last hurt himself. It had been a hard habit to break, taking nearly two years for him to get to a three month marker. He had told Kurogane one morning when he had brought breakfast to the dojo, something he did regularly when he still lived at the Cat's Eye. Later that night, Kurogane had come to the bar and handed him a round dog tag one side read "_Three Months_" in elegant cursive script. The other side said "_For Yourself_". For the first year he received a tag from Kurogane every three months and after that once a year. Each was a different color and had the name of a person to stay strong for. He ran his fingers over the royal blue front where it said "_Five Years_". He flipped it over to read, "_For Kina._"

Now he had eight that read in order of receiving: _For yourself, For me, For Yuui, For Tomoyo, For Sakura, For Syaoran, For Mori, For Kina. _

"Why did you give Mori and Kina last?" Fai asked, pulling the keys close to himself.

Kurogane resettled his hand on Fai's hip. "In case you ever did do it again, I didn't want you breaking a promise to them. It's been so long hopefully you never break that promise to them now. Now I'm just reminding you that you beat it."

The smaller continued to look at the tags in wonderment. "I can't believe it's been five years."

The corners of Kurogane's mouth tugged into a grin and after a moment he said, "I love you." The words were simple, yet he didn't say them very often, as most times he was more prone to showing rather than telling.

Fai smiled widely; even now, years later, those words still made his stomach drop. It was something neither of them had had a chance to say all those years ago, but now they were free to say it. They were no longer hidden boys; hidden from each other and the other people in their lives; boys because each had still had room to mature. They had matured into _free_ men with no childish reasoning to keep them apart. "I love you, too."

He pressed his lips softly to the larger man's. The kiss was juvenile, but hot and intense in its own right. Both of them were now so in tune with each other that their tongues met between their lips and encircled each other languidly before becoming encased in Kurogane's mouth.

The larger man pulled Fai closer to him and relished in the close proximity. There were so many words he wanted to say to the blond, so many thank you's, so many sweet nothings that he was too embarrassed to say. But now, in the darkening room, he knew that he had a lifetime to say these things. So, he welcomed the night, the moonlight, and the warmth of the blond next to him.

* * *

><p>Last AN for this story.

I worked REALLY hard on Kina and Mori's personalities. It seems to be that a lot of the time when children are written they are unrealistic and way to _perfect_, if you will. Being the oldest of seven I know what kids are like at every age so I tried my hardest to make the kids REAL. I wanted them to have attitudes because children do. And I wanted Kuro to have his own parenting troubles because nobody is perfect. I really hope people weren't hoping for a perfect ending, life just isn't like that and I'm to much of a realist to write that way (Which is why this took so long. I had to FORCE myself to NOT write angst)

This was the first thing I ever wrote. I know it has it's faults but I truly love this piece even more than the other piece I am currently working on that has went through literally HOURS of editing and reediting. I really want to thank every person that ever commented on this and those that didn't... Oh, my lord, I'm crying. I'm apparently an emotional wreck. I can only hope that this story brought somebody joy, happiness, or really even produced an emotion in anyone. Thank you all for your support. I hope to continue writing for this pairing but I need to first finish my Soul Eater fic located on my profile page. Look at me shamelessly self promoting til the very end. Thank you all so much. I don't think anybody understands how much being able to write this for you guys meant to me. Until next time, huh?

~Mindlessadri


	15. Omake: For Sickness

AN: Basically you can thank Zelinxia for this. Xia inspired me to do an omake and while I'm not sure if it's good I wanted to write something for HB with my improved (well I think anyway) writing style. It was meant to be a really fluffy piece and quickly became a look into their life after the story but before the epilogue. Enjoy~

"You're sick."

"No I'm not Kuro-pu."

Kurogane snarled. "Yes you are."

"Aw. You're so cute when you worry, Kuro-cute."

"I'm not cute." Kurogane leaned against the window frame of Fai's car and looked in at the blond who had already shifted his car into drive. "And you are sick. You wouldn't be leaving this early otherwise."

Fai relented and sighed, "It's just a cold. I don't even have a fever. I'll be better with a little rest no worries." Kurogane didn't move. "I'll call you if I need you. Go on back inside. The kids are going to come looking for you."

The larger man smirked, "More like they'll come looking for you. You know they ask about you when you aren't around."

Fai smiled in return. Kurogane's smile could literally melt ice, well, if ice was Fai. "I know."

They stared at each other a few moments lost in looking at the other. Recently their relationship had begun changing. It had been roughly five years since Kurogane had been rejected in the hospital and since Fai and him had gone through he tedious motions of building a solid friendship, establishing mutual trust, and slowly becoming part of the other's everyday life. Their relationship was in a fragile transition phase entitled "we-kiss-but-not-in-front-of-the-kids". It had been that way for roughly three months and was showing very few signs of progressing to something more anytime soon. This wasn't bad, both of them knew that they were not the only people to consider in their relationship, there was always the children to consider and because of this their relationship had not progressed past gentle kissing and sweet necking when they could. And when they could was generally the days the kids were with Yuuko and Clow in the town over.

Fai cleared his throat and looked away in embarrassment, Kurogane had developed a habit of openly staring at him and while he by no means hated it, it never failed to turn his cheeks pink. He then glanced out his windshield to check for peeking eyes and when he didn't find any his hand shot out his window. grabbed Kurogane by the collar, and pulled the larger man's head in through the window. They kissed then in a slow meeting of lips that reluctantly pulled away after a few brief seconds. "I should go," Fai tried to say and was silenced when Kurogane kissed him again.

"I know," Kurogane said and Fai kissed him. "Call me if you need me. Please." He kissed the blond again, this time a little more forcefully for good measure.

Kurogane retreated and stood straight as Fai smiled at him, "Goodnight, Kuro-darling." With that Fai backed out of his driveway.

He stood there in the darkened driveway a few more seconds and once he was sue he was out of Fai's sight he broke into a grin reminiscent of a kid at a candy shop. He ran his ran over his face as if trying to contain his happiness before walking back to his house to finish the stupid fish movie that Kina liked so much.

He walked into his sunken living room and his children stared at him. "What?" He growled.

His children didn't even flinch and looked at each other before looking back to him. "You're smiling stupid, Dad," Kina replied and turned back to the movie.

Kurogane looked to Mori who shrugged with a smile that was much to similar to the one Yuuko wore when she knew more than she was letting on.

Friday afternoon and the idiot hadn't called. For all he knew Fai could be dying in his loft not taking medicine and refusing to see a doctor. That's how his stubbornness presented itself and Kurogane pondered this as he stirred his ice cream soda. As usual, if the opportunity presented itself, he would take the kids to their favorite ice cream parlor at the end of the week. He might not have been one for sweets but ordering an ice cream soda was more desirable than listening to his kids scold him for not participating in the family outing.

"You look upset," Mori said thrusting his spoon towards his father across the table.

Kina pursed her lips then clucked her tongue. "Yeah," she agreed from beside Kurogane.

"I'm not upset. Eat your damn ice cream so we can go home and make dinner would ya?" Kina snuggled up closer to him not even phased by his unintentionally harsh way of speaking. "I wish Fai was coming over today. He could come with us to get ice creams. And he makes yummy food."

Kurogane scowled down at her, "What? I don't make 'yummy' food?"

His children blinked at him. "We didn't say that."

"But Fai puts butter on the vegetables," Mori added.

Kina looked up at her dad, " And he cuts the crusts off the sammiches."

Well, Kurogane wasn't one to deny his children. "You guys want to go see him?" He asked as casually as he could.

Both of them perked up at the prospect, "Really?"

Kurogane rubbed his head, "Yeah but you guys can't be running around in the bar."

"We won't!"

The bar was busy seeing as it was a Friday so he held Kina more securely on his hip and gripped Mori's hand a bit tighter as they made a b-line for the stairs at the back. They hurriedly shuffled up the stairs and he knocked loudly on Fai's door.

An ominous groan resounded in the small hallway in response. Kina scurried out of her father's grip and rushed the door declaring, "That means 'come in!'"

"Fai!" Kina shouted as she ran and jumped on the lump in the middle of the mattress that was Fai. "Daddy brought us over because we want food!" She shook the lump.

Mori walked over towards the bed cautiously, "I think he's dead."

Kurogane flicked on the lights and took in the apartment. It was littered with tissues and smelled of sickness. "Guys, stop."

It was then the Fai moved and turned to look at the kids and even they could tell something was terribly off. Fai was so pale that his skin was blanched and his blood vessels made him look green in color. He tried to smile but failed.

Kina and Mori pulled back a bit, "Are you sick Fai?" Mori ventured.

The blond actually looked like he was about to answer 'no' but then he began to convulse as he tried to repress vomit and failed and threw up in a trashcan on the other side of the bed.

Kurogane rushed in "That's a yes." He pulled his kids back and rushed them out the door. "Tomoyo!" He called down to the bar.

A moment later she was at the bottom of the stairs, "Please tell me he's not dead."

"Tch. As if." Kurogane replied with a scowl, "Take the kids to the back and feed them some of that grilled ham and cheese stuff you guys have."

"Alright," she responded throwing the dish towel she was holding over her shoulder.

Kurogane turned his kids to face him and squatted to be at their level, "You behave for Tomoyo and don't cause her any trouble."

"Yes daddy," they responded. Kina kissed his nose and Mori his forehead and then they retreated.

Kurogane called after them, "Hold each other's hands!" They both shot him a thumbs up in response. He went back into Fai's loft and closed the door behind himself. Fai was still bent over the side of his bed though it didn't seem he was throwing up anymore.

Kurogane went around to the side Fai was facing knelt down beside him, "What are you waiting for?"

Fai swallowed thickly, "Second wave." No sooner had he spoken the words had his body started retching again.

"Shit," Kurogane said as he reacted by pulling Fai's hair back from his face. The golden strands more closely resembled wet hay and felt similar. Fai vomited into the trash for a good ten seconds before his body stilled. "Done?" Kurogane asked massaging Fai's scalp.

"Water." Fai's arm shot out to his night stand and collided with a cup that had water in it sending it to the ground. "Fuck," Fai mumbled almost pathetically.

Kurogane picked up the cup and went to the sink to refill it. He grabbed the hand towel and dropped it on the small puddle before setting the glass down on the night stand. Fai hadn't even attempted to move while he was getting water and so Kurogane lifted Fai under the arms and brought him back so he was propped up on his pillows. "Here," Kurogane said handing Fai the water.

Fai looked at it a moment before taking it and drinking roughly half the glass in the span of three minutes. Kurogane sat on the edge of the bed. "You were supposed to call."

"You have the kids."

"You were supposed to call," he repeated. He wasn't mad so much as he was upset that Fai hadn't given him enough credit.

"I didn't want to get you guys sick."

Kurogane took Fai's hand, "You promised idiot. You're practically dying up here. I can make arrangements for the kids."

Fai closed his eyes and gave Kurogane's hand a light squeeze, "Your time with them is important."

"You're important too idiot. Don't forget that."

Blue eyes settled on red ones, "I'm sorry I broke my promise."

"I'm not leaving you alone. I'm going to go call Yuuko." Kurogane stood and Fai opened his mouth to protest. "And don't try to talk me out of it either."

Fai closed and opened his mouth a few times as if about to say something and thinking better of it. "I'm going to try to sleep then."

Kurogane's gaze softened, "I'll be back in two, three hours tops."

Fai nuzzled into his pillow. "Hng. Hit the lights on your way out."

They met half way between Yuuko's house and Kurogane's. They had had to return to his house to gather the kid's things before they left. They pulled off into the gas station they deemed half-way; Mori and Kina were trying their best to sit still as they waited for their mom to arrive.

Kina kicked her legs in the back seat while singing a song under breath. "Daddy," she prompted.

"Hn?" Kurogane responded and locked eyes with her in the rear view mirror.

"Are we going to Mommy's house so you can take care of Fai?"

He turned to look at her and evenly stated, "Yes. Is that okay with, you?"

"Yep!" She smiled happily to herself and played with her thumbs.

Mori spoke up then, "Are you going to stay the night?"

"Maybe, it depends on how sick he is and if he'll let me."

His son's face scrunched up, "Are you going to kiss?"

Kurogane couldn't decide if his skin had paled or if he was blushing. "What?" He barked in embarrassment.

Mori grew embarrassed himself and shouted in retaliation, "That's what happens on TV!"

"Y-your mother needs to stop letting you watch those dramas!"

"I just don't want you to get the pregnant!"

Kurogane hit his head against the steering wheel and the horn resounded across the parking lot. How old was Mori? Nine now, almost ten. Now was not the time to have the talk especially when Kina was siting there watching this all unfold with confusion written across her face.

"What's the pregnant? Is it bad? Is Fai going to give it to you?" She sounded genuinely worried.

Kurogane was about to answer when Mori piped in again. "It's when people kiss and then their stomachs get huge and then they explode!"

"Daddy! If you explode I'm going to have to beat Fai up! I don't wanna do that! I like him!" Fatherhood. Kurogane wondered if he could negotiate the life long contract.

"Okay listen," he growled and both of them piped down. "You can not get pregnant by kissing. And when a person does get pregnant their stomach doesn't _explode _they have a baby."

They both blinked up at him and just when he thought they were satisfied they threw their questions at him.

"Then how does somebody get pregnant?" Mori asked with a raised eyebrow.

Kurogane knew he was most definitely blushing.

"Oh," Kina decided "Then you can get the pregnant with Fai daddy and have a baby! I think you guys would have a pretty baby!"

He stared dumbfounded at his children and ignored the urge to bang his head against the window or, alternatively opening his car door and run into the woods. Instead he snapped his head to Mori and very nearly shouted as he pointed at his son, "Ask me again next week and don't you _dare _ask your mother." Then he turned to Kina who had knitted her eyebrows together in confusion. "And men can't have babies with other men by 'getting the pregnant' they have to adopt."

Mori stared at him irritated, he was the kind that wanted answers immediately but was slow to give up his own. Kina though looked thoughtful. After about a minute of silence Kurogane thought the subject was done and over with, "Well then you guys can just a-pot! I'm sure the baby will grow to be cute even if it does have leaves."

Kurogane couldn't help the smirk that crawled across his face nor could he help his vocal pleas for help from the almighty god above. Thankfully Yuuko's headlights swung into view blinding him in the process, she certainly knew how to make an entrance.

The kid hopped out of the car without so much as asking and went to their mother to hug her around her waist. Kurogane got out of the car just in time to catch Kina telling her mother "-but it's okay that Daddy can't get the pregnant because he can just _plant _a baby in a pot!"

Yuuko smiled, amused, at her daughter and looked to Kurogane as she said slowly, "Is that so?" She tuned back to the kids, "Why don't you guys get in the car and I'll talk to your dad?"

Both of them ran back to their father who crouched down to embrace them. They both kissed his forehead. Mori lingered a moment and bopped his dad over the head with his little fist, "Don't let Fai die." Mori retreated to the car then.

"So your planting a child?" Yuuko asked as she closed the back door the kids had went through.

Kurogane sighed and handed her the kids backpacks which she slung over he shoulder. "I said _adopt_. Not _a-pot._"

"Hm," she mused, "Are you and Fai in a relationship?"

The taller of the two sat on his car and kicked his legs out. "No. He's just sick and he's to much of an idiot to take care of himself."

"I think that will change soon." She mused. "Your and Fai's relationship status."

"What makes you say that?"

She smirked at him and walked over to ruffle his hair like a cute pet. "Just because you don't tell me how often Fai comes over during the week doesn't mean the kids don't. They're very fond of him, they like to talk about how he 'makes Daddy smile stupid' if I'm quoting them right."

Kurogane rubbed his hands over his face, "Yeah. They tell me that too."

Yuuko looked a bit shocked that he had admitted to it but smiled at him pleased, "You should get going."

Kurogane nodded in agreement.

It was nearing nine in the evening when Kurogane walked into Fai's apartment carrying a bag from the pharmacy with various forms of cold medicine: nighttime, daytime, multi-symptom. Fai was still asleep on his bed, even from the doorway Kurogane could see the fine layer of sweet the coated him.

Kurogane flipped on the lights and went to the kitchen as Fai rolled over groaning and pulled the sheet over his head. He found a pot and pulled out a can of soup and dumped it in and put a lid over the pot. He looked around and saw Fai was peering at him through a small peep hole he had made in the blanket.

"You need to shower."

"I'm not going to eat that. It's to heavy. I'll just throw it up." Fai frowned and turned away to snuggle deeper into the sheets. "I'm to tired to shower."

Kurogane turned the pot off and walked over to lean down by Fai's ear. "I don't care. Your fever is really high. I can feel it and I'm not even touching you. You need to cool your body down before you fry your brain."

Fai made a childish whining sound as he threw the blankets off and tried to stand. He wobbled a bit and Kurogane caught him and helped him to the bathroom. He ran the water so it was temped and let it run. He was waiting for it to fill with Fai sitting on the toilet head facing the floor and hair hanging limply about his face. Fai made a small tired noise and Kurogane saw him with his arms outstretched and raised ever so slightly with his wrists hanging limp.

Kurogane rolled his eyes and grabbed the hem of Fai's soaked shirt and brought it over his head in one swift motion. The waistband of the baggy pajama pants Fai was wearing had slipped halfway down his hips and Kurogane found his eyes pinned to the parallel scars that seemed bright against Fai's pale skin.  
>Fai's hands crept slowly over his own skin inward to cover the scars and this movement effectively snapped Kurogane out of his stupor. Fai's eyes were waiting for his when they met and he his gaze was unwavering on Kurogane. "They're fading you know."<p>

Red eyes glazed over in guilt before Kurogane gave a curt nod. He reached down and turned off the water. There was only a few inches of liquid in the tub, enough to take away the heat of Fai's fever. There was a small press into his side and he looked down at Fai who was now wrapping his arms around his hips and trying to burrow his head into Kurogane's middle.

"Kuro-sama, stop staring and let me get in the tub before I get sick again without a bucket to barf into." Fai sounded terrible and Kurogane could feel the heat of his fever even through his clothes.

He scratched Fai's head before he backed away to the door. "Stay in there for ten minutes," he instructed before closing the door behind himself.

Fifteen minutes later and Kurogane had managed to do the pile of dishes in Fai sink, pick up the crap on the floor, and change the idiot's linen because sleeping in sweat soaked sheets was disgusting even when sick. Fai emerged from the bathroom in and oversized shirt and snow-pea green cotton pants. The ends of his hair were wet and his skin was still pale but had taken on a less green quality. "How do you feel?" Kurogane ventured as he followed Fai to help the blond into bed.

Fai managed a weak smile, "A little less like shit."

"You look it too," Kurogane smirked and he put his hand to Fai's forehead. He was still burning but at least he wasn't as hot as the fiery pits of hell anymore. Kurogane went to the kitchen area where he had stashed his bag from the pharmacy. "When's the last time you took medicine?"

"Let's see I graduated high school at eighteen. So about eight years before that?"

Kurogane stared at him with disbelief. "You're fucking kidding me."

"Cold medicine is gross."

He shook his head, grabbed some nighttime fever reducer, the thermometer he bought, and a stack of saltines. Kurogane stuck the thermometer in Fai's mouth and filled the cap to the brim with cold syrup which caused Fai to visibly grimace through his misery. The thermometer beeped and Kurogane looked at the digits: 101.3 degree fever. "Well the good news is I'm not going to take you to the hospital. The bad news is you're going to drink this and eat some of these he said motioning to the medication and crackers respectively.

Fai did so with little complaint and Kurogane sat at the side of his bed attentively. About forty minutes later Fai was struggling to keep his eyes open and Kurogane went around the apartment shutting off the lights after changing into his sleepwear. He went back to Fai and pulled the covers up around his neck and turned with the intent of grabbing a blanket from the closet and a pillow from the bed and sleeping on the couch but Fai's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. "Where are you going? Are you leaving?"

"As if I could leave you by yourself. You nearly died in the few days I didn't hear from you," he replied with a sigh and sat back down on the floor by the bed. "I was going to get a blanket and sleep on the couch." He could just barely make out Fai's blue eyes in the dark.

"No," was Fai's simple reply. Fai's hand weakly pulled Kurogane up and towards the bed. He followed obediently and crawled over to the opposite side.

They were lying next to each other on the bed and Fai turned to face him. His hand reached up and ran up the length of Kurogane's neck to rest on his cheek. Fai ran his thumb back and forth over Kurogane's cheekbone for a moment before stopping to stare at him. "I want you to sleep with me tonight."

Fai's eyes were serious but Kurogane could tell it had taken a lot for Fai to invite him this far. He had demonstrated a lot or restraint (like last year at the Halloween party when Fai had gotten particularly drunk and flirtatious) but he lost himself and bent his head down to grab Fai's lips with his own. It started heated but quickly faded to light pecks that Fai tried his best to return even as he fought sleep. Kurogane pulled away and kissed Fai's nose before pulling the blond by the waist into him.

"Your going to get sick," Fai mumbled into his collarbone and gently kissed Kurogane's neck.

Kurogane close his eyes, "Don't care. Just don't barf on me in the middle of the night." Kurogane could hardly bring himself to care that he might get sick because Fai's body was pressed into his and not in some wet dream either but in the flesh. He loved Fai and while now was not the time to blurt out how the blond made him complete he couldn't help but be reminded of something Kina told him.

"Kina says I smile stupid when we kiss."

Fai smiled and burrowed his head deeper, "Tomoyo tells me the same thing." His voice was sleepy, almost delirious.

"Can we be stupid together then?"

Fai mumbled into his neck. He hadn't heard the reply and he probably wouldn't because Fai had fallen asleep. So he pulled the blankets around them and fell asleep himself. On the border of consciousness his brain was able to depict what Fai had said and though he might have conjured it up he would probably forget that Fai had promised him _Forever. _

AN: It's late. I'm still not sure if this is good but hey it's done.

Review if you can find the time.

Maybe I'll do more but the story still stands as complete.


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